Nick had said she could come by his office if she had question, and of course Raven had several. So after today's class, she decided to go speak to him. Flame, meet moth.
"Professor Chevalier?" she called from the doorway.
He glanced over at the doorway and smiled, but internally he was wincing. Of course. The empath. The one he wanted to see least, if only for her own safety.
"You had said if I had questions to come see you," Raven said, moving into the office. Her shields were relaxed so she could learn as much as she could about Nick, though she was prepared to raise them in a heartbeat if she had to. Don't try to fix things alone. Not everything can be fixed. She wasn't purposely ignoring what Anakin had said to her the day before, she just couldn't help herself. Seeking out pain and releasing it was the heart of her existence.
"I did," he agreed before gesturing to the chair in front of him for her to sit. The room was done in dark colors, dark woods and dark cushions, but there were small traces of 'lightness'. The paintings in the room, a few of the artifacts... many of them had to do with the sun. A few of them looked religious as well, including a sword that hung from one wall; it was obviously a few centuries old, but it had been cared for and preserved quite well.
If asked for an opinion, Raven would definitely approve of the dark colors.
"I am curious as to what you think I might experience around you that would be harmful to me," she said, settling into the chair and getting right to the point.
Raven nodded. "Then we must shut the door to keep the squirrels from listening," she said, hoping someone had explained the radio squirrels to Nick, or else he was going to look at her like she was crazy.
Nick nodded and stood to close the door, listening for any rodent heartbeats. Not hearing any within the room, he headed back to the desk.
"You may feel... hungers. Flashes of anger or fear. Almost like... almost like a rabid beast that is never sated. Guilt, pain, all these things you might feel."
Raven couldn't help but tense a little bit. "Why is that, Professor?" she asked. Guilt and pain, anger and fear, those she understood, but hunger? That made her nervous.
"I'm sorry, but that information is far too dangerous to share with a student. I can only tell you so much without placing you in harms way. Not from me... from others."
"You do not know Fandom very well, Professor," Raven said. "There are many here who are in danger from others, including myself. But we cannot protect one another if we do not know what to watch out for."
"Then what is the hunger for, will you tell me that?" Raven persisted. Her experience with hunger was limited to rather negative things in her mind -- her father's hunger for conquest, a vampire's thirst for blood, and her own temptation for sensation.
"What you have said does not frighten me," Raven said. "I feel anger and fear and guilt and pain from others every day. It is all around me, I cannot help but feel it. And I freely offer my gifts to all who are suffering."
"Professor Chevalier?" she called from the doorway.
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"Yes, Raven? Come in."
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"You're always welcome here. How can I help you?"
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"I am curious as to what you think I might experience around you that would be harmful to me," she said, settling into the chair and getting right to the point.
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"You might feel..."
He glanced at the door.
"I would appreciate if nothing I say leaves this room. I only share this for your safety."
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"You may feel... hungers. Flashes of anger or fear. Almost like... almost like a rabid beast that is never sated. Guilt, pain, all these things you might feel."
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"I'm sorry, but that information is far too dangerous to share with a student. I can only tell you so much without placing you in harms way. Not from me... from others."
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Hypocritical little empath.
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"Then I thank you for your concern, but again... it is not just my secret to tell."
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"There are many. Hungers. But mostly I desire... redemption. To return to what I was. The rest, I'm afraid I cannot share."
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"An offer I appreciate."
But cannot take. No one should have to feel 800 years of remorse, of death and darkness.
No one but the one who caused it.
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