[muse_shuffle] October Disc One
Track 04. Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be. (Nirvana - 'Come As You Are')
It was late… or early, depending on how one preferred to look at it. Three-thirty in the morning and Luke was trying not to make any noise in the kitchen of his Upper West Side loft apartment. Or their apartment. He was part of a pair now and it was easier for him to get used to that than he thought it might be. The apartment wasn’t massive and besides the bathroom and laundry, it was all one big room with the bedroom on a layer above up a funky spiral staircase. Which is why he was trying his hardest not to make a sound in the kitchen and wake Tab in bed upstairs.
He carefully peeled open the foil Aspirin wrapper and tipped the pills into a glass of water, watching them bubble up with a soft hiss. His head was thumping and he knew a migraine had been inevitable after the whole shock earlier in the night. Migraines were a fact of his life, but it had been awhile since he’d had one bad enough to drag him out of sleep in a sweat with his head feeling like it was going to explode. To him, though, it was a little price to pay for the fact he could be there for Tab through the pregnancy scare. He knew some women would reflexively react by just shutting their boyfriends out in a situation like this. If Tab had done that, Luke just knew it would’ve cut deep. He didn’t want a Grand Canyon of negative emotions between them. He’d done the bad relationship thing in the past - fuck, he’d even been cheated on in the worst possible way - and he didn’t want it again. It had to be perfect with Tab, and even if it came through on a bumpy road, he knew they could pull it off. All he wanted was her, and everything she had to offer him. Beyond that, the rest just felt like it would come as it needed. The story of his life, and he didn’t want either of them to change. If this was going to work, it had to be as exactly who they were; mind, body and soul.
Still, nothing could’ve made the previous evening any easier. When Tab had pulled away from his advances, it had hurt, but he could never have contemplated why she’d road-blocked him until she was blurting it out at him. And it wasn’t the pregnancy scare that hurt the worst. It was the fear there might be a chance it could be her ex’s if it had been positive. He had been so burned in the past by his own ex when she went and got pregnant behind his back after cheating on him for months that he didn’t think he could’ve stuck at Tab’s side if she had been pregnant with someone else’s child and for that, he just felt like a failure. He felt like he’d failed Tab on some level but no matter how much he tried to look at the situation, he just knew he wouldn’t have stayed if she was having a baby that wasn’t his.
On the other side of the coin, there was the realisation that he probably wouldn’t have been as freaked out by the notion that he got Tab pregnant after the initial shock had died down. If this had been a mistake they’d made together, he would’ve stuck by her and they would’ve gotten through it. Wouldn’t they? He closed his eyes and took a tentative sip of the Aspirin, waiting to make sure it wasn’t going to hop on an immediate return journey. He couldn’t help but think what the lay of the land would’ve been if there was two blue lines.
Luke looked up at the upper level of the apartment. He couldn’t see the bed from where he was standing, but he knew Tab was there. That was enough. This was bump in the road number two on the early journey that was their relationship, and they’d come through it yet again. First, they’d gotten through Riley’s diagnosis and Luke was there for her just like he promised he would be and he wouldn’t have changed a minute of that for anything. Then second, a pregnancy scare. Many couples pushed through the same fate and couldn’t manage to even come out the other side together. But they did. Yes, it came with tears and fucking massive migraines, but that was nothing in comparison to the bigger picture.
They hadn’t been together long, but Luke hoped it was only the start of something bigger and brighter before him. And although there was part of him that hoped they had no more bumps on the road ahead of them, he wasn’t naïve to know that was just wishful thinking. He just knew that whatever came, they were going to fucking stumble their way through it…
Together.
asinthecity & pullmysteth referenced with permission.
Word Count | 823
It was late… or early, depending on how one preferred to look at it. Three-thirty in the morning and Luke was trying not to make any noise in the kitchen of his Upper West Side loft apartment. Or their apartment. He was part of a pair now and it was easier for him to get used to that than he thought it might be. The apartment wasn’t massive and besides the bathroom and laundry, it was all one big room with the bedroom on a layer above up a funky spiral staircase. Which is why he was trying his hardest not to make a sound in the kitchen and wake Tab in bed upstairs.
He carefully peeled open the foil Aspirin wrapper and tipped the pills into a glass of water, watching them bubble up with a soft hiss. His head was thumping and he knew a migraine had been inevitable after the whole shock earlier in the night. Migraines were a fact of his life, but it had been awhile since he’d had one bad enough to drag him out of sleep in a sweat with his head feeling like it was going to explode. To him, though, it was a little price to pay for the fact he could be there for Tab through the pregnancy scare. He knew some women would reflexively react by just shutting their boyfriends out in a situation like this. If Tab had done that, Luke just knew it would’ve cut deep. He didn’t want a Grand Canyon of negative emotions between them. He’d done the bad relationship thing in the past - fuck, he’d even been cheated on in the worst possible way - and he didn’t want it again. It had to be perfect with Tab, and even if it came through on a bumpy road, he knew they could pull it off. All he wanted was her, and everything she had to offer him. Beyond that, the rest just felt like it would come as it needed. The story of his life, and he didn’t want either of them to change. If this was going to work, it had to be as exactly who they were; mind, body and soul.
Still, nothing could’ve made the previous evening any easier. When Tab had pulled away from his advances, it had hurt, but he could never have contemplated why she’d road-blocked him until she was blurting it out at him. And it wasn’t the pregnancy scare that hurt the worst. It was the fear there might be a chance it could be her ex’s if it had been positive. He had been so burned in the past by his own ex when she went and got pregnant behind his back after cheating on him for months that he didn’t think he could’ve stuck at Tab’s side if she had been pregnant with someone else’s child and for that, he just felt like a failure. He felt like he’d failed Tab on some level but no matter how much he tried to look at the situation, he just knew he wouldn’t have stayed if she was having a baby that wasn’t his.
On the other side of the coin, there was the realisation that he probably wouldn’t have been as freaked out by the notion that he got Tab pregnant after the initial shock had died down. If this had been a mistake they’d made together, he would’ve stuck by her and they would’ve gotten through it. Wouldn’t they? He closed his eyes and took a tentative sip of the Aspirin, waiting to make sure it wasn’t going to hop on an immediate return journey. He couldn’t help but think what the lay of the land would’ve been if there was two blue lines.
Luke looked up at the upper level of the apartment. He couldn’t see the bed from where he was standing, but he knew Tab was there. That was enough. This was bump in the road number two on the early journey that was their relationship, and they’d come through it yet again. First, they’d gotten through Riley’s diagnosis and Luke was there for her just like he promised he would be and he wouldn’t have changed a minute of that for anything. Then second, a pregnancy scare. Many couples pushed through the same fate and couldn’t manage to even come out the other side together. But they did. Yes, it came with tears and fucking massive migraines, but that was nothing in comparison to the bigger picture.
They hadn’t been together long, but Luke hoped it was only the start of something bigger and brighter before him. And although there was part of him that hoped they had no more bumps on the road ahead of them, he wasn’t naïve to know that was just wishful thinking. He just knew that whatever came, they were going to fucking stumble their way through it…
Together.
asinthecity & pullmysteth referenced with permission.
Word Count | 823