Lilacs and memories...

May 25, 2006 08:03

The lilac's blooming. It always sneaks up on me. I never remember until the day...

Three years or thirty-three. It never gets easier. Returning to it just brought it closer. I was proud to be there, prouder still to be there twice, but... twice the deaths, as well. They didn't have to die. They could have resigned. Hell, I gave them the chance, Keel gave them the chance. But they stayed. They did the job they didn't have to do, and died for it. It can only be hoped that it was worth it.

I think it was.

I can't forget. I owe them that much. But... it's not fair to Young Sam. Today's his birthday. And I... I'm always like this. I can't let them go. That a day of such sorrow should be overlaid with such joy...

I don't know how to stay cheerful for him. The memories are too strong, I get too melancholy. Hell, I spend an hour at least in the graveyard. But they have to be remembered, because when we're gone, no one will care. And they deserve that much.

I'm sorry, Sam. I really am.

All the little angels rise up, rise up, all the little angels rise up high. How do they rise up, rise up, rise up, how do they rise up, rise up high?

the glorious 25th of may, young sam, journal

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