indeed mr. smoogle-jones, indeed.

[notrulydemented]

so its been a crazy long time since i've written in this thingy majigg. life. how has life been? i suppose that it has been all that it can be, what with personal troubles and class troubles and a mental imbalance. i don't think i want to go to college anymore. if someone saw me twenty years from now after if i were to drop out now, i would stand up proudly and say yes, i am happy with the way things have turned out. but i need to make something of myself, so ultimately i would not be happy. but then i look at myself now, and realize that i am not happy as i stand. so what is my motivation? i am not happy doing what i am doing, and i will not be happy if i do not succeed in life somehow. that is the paradox in which i have been living for the last several weeks. i miss my freinds...i will take a field trip to cobleskill and see the ones there. they make me uber happy, and my lack of communicational skills when i am not around them makes me sad because i feel as though i am falling out of touch.

o, the evilness of it all.

but alas, alack, what is there to do? i suppose i shall simply perish into this void that has become my existence. well i guess thats pretty depressing. oh well, it is what i feel, whether depressing or happy or confused or indifferent. it doesn't matter, because in the end, everything will turn out as it should.

~shaboom.