mini-gold, symmetry, and a rant I shouldn't post
This update is divided into three distinct parts.
Part one: Yesterday
A good day. Got work done. The night was sweet though. Amazing round of mini-golf, in which I dominated. The night has three outstanding points. One: Ben trying to drink a gallon of milk in 30 minutes. If he keeps it down he wins cold hard cash... but alas, he could not do it, and watching someone hurl two-thirds of a gallon of milk is more entertaining than one would think. We were all in stitches. Two: the dumbest thing I've ever heard... Jen's thoughts on abortion "wait, aren't your first three free?" I couldn't make that up. It defies reality. Three: the car chase... a massive and extreme battle between Alex's two-toned-terror and Julianne's purple thing. The highlands will never be the same after we tore it up.
Part Two: Today
By far the most important section.
Today is of significance to me. It marks an anniversary. Today, riding the train into Boston, life slapped me with the most ironic and complete epiphany to date, and the symmetry that life sometimes holds was made clear. Two years ago I also rode a train into Boston, surrounded by friends, feeling happy and full of life speeding towards a day that I will never forget for the deep impact it would have on my life. A year ago today I also took the train into Boston (and Cambridge), full of love, with one person, the only one I would have wanted it to be. Today I rode the train, again to Boston, but this time alone, with only a book and a CD player, stressed, tired, worn and empty, with no drive (I was only going in to get my haircut). I came full circle today, preparing for another school year at the opposite end of the spectrum... how close I felt to those friends two years ago on that train, and how far away all of my friends seemed today, even when I met up with some in town. And here I am on the night after my trip to Boston, again the polar opposite of two years ago, alone, worried by schoolwork, losing friends instead of making them, while two years ago I was filled with hope for the future and the knowledge that good times were ahead. Despite what would have been an awesome day (two new CD's, chilling with Diana and Tom in Boston), I felt distanced and distracted. I wanted to burn the hatchshell, poison the river, destroy UNO's and a waiter named Washington. I wanted to rip apart the commuter rail track by track. Every star should fall, every trampoline should fail, every mario-kart should explode. I wanted to melt down the grey phone next to my computer, raze the connection between route 1 and 95. I wanted to see every leap-year fail to exist. I wanted snap every Less Than Jake, Dashboard Confessional, Motion City Soundtrack, and Say Anything album all at once. I know that this was largely due to my sleep deprived, over-worked, over-stressed condition because I waited until this week to do all my summer work. I know tomorrow will be different, I'll wake up fine and over it again and wondering if I can keep a friend after this post, or if they're my friend at all, that tomorrow's yesterday will be a good day with friends and my favorite city ever, that I should have done homework instead of writing in my LJ. But today, today sucks. Today is February 17th again as much as it is September 7th. Today is six months of repression caving in. Today:hell, tomorrow:indifference. I know that I'll be fine when I wake up in 12 hours. I know that deep down I love Mario-Kart and Say Anything, and that turning New Hampshire into New Orleans wouldn't have changed anything. But dear god, it would have been nice to see something else break for a change.
Fuck the third part. I'll save it for tomorrow, when I'm me again.
Part one: Yesterday
A good day. Got work done. The night was sweet though. Amazing round of mini-golf, in which I dominated. The night has three outstanding points. One: Ben trying to drink a gallon of milk in 30 minutes. If he keeps it down he wins cold hard cash... but alas, he could not do it, and watching someone hurl two-thirds of a gallon of milk is more entertaining than one would think. We were all in stitches. Two: the dumbest thing I've ever heard... Jen's thoughts on abortion "wait, aren't your first three free?" I couldn't make that up. It defies reality. Three: the car chase... a massive and extreme battle between Alex's two-toned-terror and Julianne's purple thing. The highlands will never be the same after we tore it up.
Part Two: Today
By far the most important section.
Today is of significance to me. It marks an anniversary. Today, riding the train into Boston, life slapped me with the most ironic and complete epiphany to date, and the symmetry that life sometimes holds was made clear. Two years ago I also rode a train into Boston, surrounded by friends, feeling happy and full of life speeding towards a day that I will never forget for the deep impact it would have on my life. A year ago today I also took the train into Boston (and Cambridge), full of love, with one person, the only one I would have wanted it to be. Today I rode the train, again to Boston, but this time alone, with only a book and a CD player, stressed, tired, worn and empty, with no drive (I was only going in to get my haircut). I came full circle today, preparing for another school year at the opposite end of the spectrum... how close I felt to those friends two years ago on that train, and how far away all of my friends seemed today, even when I met up with some in town. And here I am on the night after my trip to Boston, again the polar opposite of two years ago, alone, worried by schoolwork, losing friends instead of making them, while two years ago I was filled with hope for the future and the knowledge that good times were ahead. Despite what would have been an awesome day (two new CD's, chilling with Diana and Tom in Boston), I felt distanced and distracted. I wanted to burn the hatchshell, poison the river, destroy UNO's and a waiter named Washington. I wanted to rip apart the commuter rail track by track. Every star should fall, every trampoline should fail, every mario-kart should explode. I wanted to melt down the grey phone next to my computer, raze the connection between route 1 and 95. I wanted to see every leap-year fail to exist. I wanted snap every Less Than Jake, Dashboard Confessional, Motion City Soundtrack, and Say Anything album all at once. I know that this was largely due to my sleep deprived, over-worked, over-stressed condition because I waited until this week to do all my summer work. I know tomorrow will be different, I'll wake up fine and over it again and wondering if I can keep a friend after this post, or if they're my friend at all, that tomorrow's yesterday will be a good day with friends and my favorite city ever, that I should have done homework instead of writing in my LJ. But today, today sucks. Today is February 17th again as much as it is September 7th. Today is six months of repression caving in. Today:hell, tomorrow:indifference. I know that I'll be fine when I wake up in 12 hours. I know that deep down I love Mario-Kart and Say Anything, and that turning New Hampshire into New Orleans wouldn't have changed anything. But dear god, it would have been nice to see something else break for a change.
Fuck the third part. I'll save it for tomorrow, when I'm me again.