All my bags are packed I'm ready to go...

[notoriouslinz]

Oh man I wish that were true...I feel so unprepared and yet I've known I was leaving for how long? Argh! I mean I guess I almost have everything its just I wish I could have more stuff. I really don't need to bring anything more but I wish I had all new stuff instead of the jeans I have that are all raggedy at the bottom. Maybe I'm just being picky I mean if I don't have whatever I need now (aside from the internet cable that I need for my laptop that frankie's picking up for me tomorrow morning and bringing over before I leave) than I either dont need it or can get it when I get down there. I'm not so nervous about the whole getting down there I think its going to be fun staying in a bunch of different marriotts for FREE!! :) And just being able to get in the idea of living out of a suitcase and being on my own managing my money and what not. I mean I love the idea I have Pete down there b/c no matter what the situation he ALWAYS makes me laugh :) hes definitely a stress reliever in a stressful situation. But I dunno maybe I'm worrying over nothing I mean everyone keeps telling me go have a great time its a great opportunity yada yada yada but what about being 22 hours away from home and literally not being able to come home for the next 4 months of my life. Wondering who will come to visit me while im down there if any of my friend at all. I won't blame any of them or hold it against them if they can't b/c I know it cost so much money and is time consuming I just wish...idk sometimes I wish I never got myself involved in this whole thing maybe? I mean I love the idea of working for disney (aside from the whole they work you to death and you never have any time for yourself), I like the idea of living away from home (but not so much living almost the entire country apart), I love the idea of being able to volunteer for give the kids the world foundation, i don't like the idea of sharing a room with someone since the last time I had a roommate was before my sister moved out to her own room when i was like in 3rd grade!!! So much to worry and think about. Last night I seriously could not fall asleep and when I did I woke up million and half times just tossing and turning...not b/c I'm sick or b/c I was having any dreams but it was frusterating b/c I couldn't sleep through the night I still dont know why I dont know if it was b/c I was anxious or what! My chest feels so heavy and I feel like physically drained its like I'm here sitting at home today and tomorrow I'll be a state and half away. I'm freaking out b/c so yeah what I went to Europe for 5 weeks aside from the bus ride to nyc the cab ride to the airport and the plane ride to England I was with my sister the whole time!!! Yeah so I'll have pete and some other people I know down there but that doesn't mean their going to be there with my every waking moment! ahh I just feel like kaka poo not just b/c I'm sick b/c I'm nervous about going and being down there and away from all that is here and normal and my every day routine. Any who I best be going still have more to pack and what not. I'll probably update you kids on roommates, my actual job, etc the first week I get down there. Keep your fingers crossed for me. And you better all come visit me b/c I will miss you all like crazy!! MISS YOU ALL ALREADY!!!
LOTS OF LOVE
~L~XOXO