You always say that chapter 5 was the best thing you've ever written but this comes so close it hurts. I am crying (of course). I feel like you are piecing a puzzle together, seeing these different events from both sides. While I will always love Sergio (maybe even more than I love Fernando...), my heart breaks for Fernando too and it's because of one little part: I spent months, years, imagining what I would say to you, how I would apologize, if you came back.” Fernando turns around, his face red, his expression hard. (this is the anger Sergio knows) “I wanted you to come back so I could prove to you that I could change, that I would change for you. I didn’t think about how I would fuck you into the mattress. I always understood why Sergio didn't come back, that he was afraid they would end up in the bedroom again and never fix anything, but it hurts so much to see Fernando's hope. It hurts to see his desperation, that he wanted to prove to Sergio that he had changed, that he was suddenly good enough. That he didn't miss Sergio just on a physical level but on every level; they had fit so perfectly and so wholly that their separation was just unbearable. (It hurts too that Sergio's fear feels unfounded. That Fernando was trying to better himself for someone that maybe would have never come back, that he was trying to be perfect and was not thinking about sex.) However, I cried the most at Sergio's memory. His excitement and how much he really just wanted to remind Fernando he loved him... The disappointment and the heartbreak in that scene hurt so much. I remember in the previous story, I was so angry with Fernando for forgetting and this memory of Sergio's complements that feeling of utter heartbreak. That he forgot and that he can't give everything up. (And I love they both recognize Fernando's regret in that line and yet, he can't really take it back.) So, just to reiterate: This is amazing. And I have finally stopped crying as I typed this crazy comment. Thank you so much for writing this. ALSO: I cannot wait for the last chapter AND I CANNOT WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT FERNANDO'S SECRET IS.
I don't even know how to begin to address this comment. Coming from you, knowing how much you cling to Sergio in most fics, it just............I just don't even know.
Seriously I almost started tearing up, it is exactly what I was hoping people would see. We saw a lot of Fernando's pain in Co&dmw, but to have it expressed, to have Sergio know exactly how much he'd hurt Fernando (as much as Fernando had hurt Sergio), and to have you see it...............(I should just stop writing)
Well a little bit of his secret was revealed here,if you look carefully. :-)
I feel like you are piecing a puzzle together, seeing these different events from both sides. While I will always love Sergio (maybe even more than I love Fernando...), my heart breaks for Fernando too and it's because of one little part:
I spent months, years, imagining what I would say to you, how I would apologize, if you came back.” Fernando turns around, his face red, his expression hard. (this is the anger Sergio knows) “I wanted you to come back so I could prove to you that I could change, that I would change for you. I didn’t think about how I would fuck you into the mattress.
I always understood why Sergio didn't come back, that he was afraid they would end up in the bedroom again and never fix anything, but it hurts so much to see Fernando's hope. It hurts to see his desperation, that he wanted to prove to Sergio that he had changed, that he was suddenly good enough. That he didn't miss Sergio just on a physical level but on every level; they had fit so perfectly and so wholly that their separation was just unbearable. (It hurts too that Sergio's fear feels unfounded. That Fernando was trying to better himself for someone that maybe would have never come back, that he was trying to be perfect and was not thinking about sex.)
However, I cried the most at Sergio's memory. His excitement and how much he really just wanted to remind Fernando he loved him... The disappointment and the heartbreak in that scene hurt so much. I remember in the previous story, I was so angry with Fernando for forgetting and this memory of Sergio's complements that feeling of utter heartbreak. That he forgot and that he can't give everything up. (And I love they both recognize Fernando's regret in that line and yet, he can't really take it back.)
So, just to reiterate: This is amazing. And I have finally stopped crying as I typed this crazy comment. Thank you so much for writing this.
ALSO:
I cannot wait for the last chapter AND I CANNOT WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT FERNANDO'S SECRET IS.
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Seriously I almost started tearing up, it is exactly what I was hoping people would see. We saw a lot of Fernando's pain in Co&dmw, but to have it expressed, to have Sergio know exactly how much he'd hurt Fernando (as much as Fernando had hurt Sergio), and to have you see it...............(I should just stop writing)
Well a little bit of his secret was revealed here,if you look carefully. :-)
Reply
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