This is what I have chosen to do
Today, when I told my Dr. about my recent symptoms, and my belief that they had something to do with the med combo, he put me on two more meds.
Seroquel and Lamictal
The Seroquel should help me sleep. The Lamictal is a mood stabilizer. Both are pretty light on side effects. Still, I told him I prefer to be on nothing at all. He said he did not know if that would ever be an option for me.
So, so so
Tomorrow I have my ECT consulation. And I am going to do this, people. Support me or turn away. Since I began researching this, I have had hope that one day can go by without me wanting to off myself. This is
A DANGEROUS WAY TO LIVE. Anyone who has known me long enough knows that I have been here so many times before that it is ridiculous. The first time I felt the desire to die I was five years old.
Most five year old children do not realize that suicide is even possible, but I wanted it.
Yes, by that time I had already been broken in so many ways, but I always have turned to suicide as an answer.
Please, pray that this will be helpful to me, because my mind is made up.
I wish to document this path on my LJ. This is my experiment- my offering of myself to the world.
Seroquel and Lamictal
The Seroquel should help me sleep. The Lamictal is a mood stabilizer. Both are pretty light on side effects. Still, I told him I prefer to be on nothing at all. He said he did not know if that would ever be an option for me.
So, so so
Tomorrow I have my ECT consulation. And I am going to do this, people. Support me or turn away. Since I began researching this, I have had hope that one day can go by without me wanting to off myself. This is
A DANGEROUS WAY TO LIVE. Anyone who has known me long enough knows that I have been here so many times before that it is ridiculous. The first time I felt the desire to die I was five years old.
Most five year old children do not realize that suicide is even possible, but I wanted it.
Yes, by that time I had already been broken in so many ways, but I always have turned to suicide as an answer.
Please, pray that this will be helpful to me, because my mind is made up.
I wish to document this path on my LJ. This is my experiment- my offering of myself to the world.