Valentine's Day
Valentine’s Day has to be without a doubt the worst ever concocted consumerist holiday imaginable.
The presence of flowers, candy, chocolates, teddy bears, and many other pieces of heart-shaped crap cluttering the shelves at the store makes me sick, and if you give into the marketing ploy and purchase any of those products, you are a moron-a pawn and a damn fool for thinking you are “less of a man” for not buying your “sweetheart” some novelty merchandise that will quickly be consumed or hidden away in storage in preparation for receiving more things the next time the calendar says so. If you think for one second that you have to buy something on Valentine’s Day, you’re an idiot. And women, how dare you expect something on this stupid holiday? I’m not disparaging someone for wanting to do something nice for the person they love (or as people like to misuse the term ‘chivalrous’ grossly out of context), but what’s the sense in getting someone something they are expecting. In my reclusive opinion, getting flowers and candy would be much more enjoyable and a surprise if you received them on June 21 instead of expecting them on February 14, like a snot-nosed unwashed child running under the Christmas tree for things they sneaked a peek at weeks earlier.
The woman should never ask, “What are we going to do for Valentine’s Day?” If she asks that in the first place, you are already a spineless sperm and money dispenser. And, oh no! Don’t you dare say you’ll get the poor girl nothing or express even the slightest anti-holiday feelings, because society will put you down and depict you as a soulless, unlovable, greedy bastard. Men are expected at a minimum to buy flowers and take the woman out for a nice dinner. Quite frankly, Valentine’s Day has turned into an excuse to show love and spend money-obviously, love in today’s society is measured by the amount you spend. You could spend three hours handcrafting the sweetest homemade letter and suggesting a night in with moderate drinks and a movie-a poor man’s holiday. But no, you’re a poor miserable man if you do that, because your bitch wants the consumerist propaganda in the form of a giant bouquet of flowers, a heart-shaped box of chocolates, a steak dinner, and all the other fucking bells and whistles you see on TV-all the while being shuttled around like it’s her damn obligation as a woman to be treated like a queen. And, why don’t the men deserve anything in return? Women already get enough undeserving royal treatment in this fucked up society. If you’re in a relationship, think about the last time your woman treated you or did something unexpectedly special for you besides microwave dinner, clean, and spread her legs.
If you ever see me walking down the street with a box of candy and a bouquet of flowers on Valentine’s Day, rob my ass and throw me in the ditch. And, if I’m in Detroit, go ahead and shoot me and steal my car too. Love should not be measured by your actions on Valentine’s Day-same with any other holiday. I will never give into the consumerism that has overtaken seemingly every holiday from Christmas to Administrative Professionals’ Day. I don’t care how much money I have. It’s the principle belief that I would not turn into a pawn for the candy and flower industry that makes a mint on these manufactured holidays. The last time I bought a girl flowers was on December 15. Was that a holiday? Was that a special occasion? No, it was just a regular day. You can’t rely on holidays, such as Valentine’s Day or the horribly conceived Sweetest Day, to express love and do things for your significant other. Grow a spine and do things on you own without the calendar and TV telling you that you have to spend spend spend. And, I’m sure there are many other reasons why I’m single, but so what?
The presence of flowers, candy, chocolates, teddy bears, and many other pieces of heart-shaped crap cluttering the shelves at the store makes me sick, and if you give into the marketing ploy and purchase any of those products, you are a moron-a pawn and a damn fool for thinking you are “less of a man” for not buying your “sweetheart” some novelty merchandise that will quickly be consumed or hidden away in storage in preparation for receiving more things the next time the calendar says so. If you think for one second that you have to buy something on Valentine’s Day, you’re an idiot. And women, how dare you expect something on this stupid holiday? I’m not disparaging someone for wanting to do something nice for the person they love (or as people like to misuse the term ‘chivalrous’ grossly out of context), but what’s the sense in getting someone something they are expecting. In my reclusive opinion, getting flowers and candy would be much more enjoyable and a surprise if you received them on June 21 instead of expecting them on February 14, like a snot-nosed unwashed child running under the Christmas tree for things they sneaked a peek at weeks earlier.
The woman should never ask, “What are we going to do for Valentine’s Day?” If she asks that in the first place, you are already a spineless sperm and money dispenser. And, oh no! Don’t you dare say you’ll get the poor girl nothing or express even the slightest anti-holiday feelings, because society will put you down and depict you as a soulless, unlovable, greedy bastard. Men are expected at a minimum to buy flowers and take the woman out for a nice dinner. Quite frankly, Valentine’s Day has turned into an excuse to show love and spend money-obviously, love in today’s society is measured by the amount you spend. You could spend three hours handcrafting the sweetest homemade letter and suggesting a night in with moderate drinks and a movie-a poor man’s holiday. But no, you’re a poor miserable man if you do that, because your bitch wants the consumerist propaganda in the form of a giant bouquet of flowers, a heart-shaped box of chocolates, a steak dinner, and all the other fucking bells and whistles you see on TV-all the while being shuttled around like it’s her damn obligation as a woman to be treated like a queen. And, why don’t the men deserve anything in return? Women already get enough undeserving royal treatment in this fucked up society. If you’re in a relationship, think about the last time your woman treated you or did something unexpectedly special for you besides microwave dinner, clean, and spread her legs.
If you ever see me walking down the street with a box of candy and a bouquet of flowers on Valentine’s Day, rob my ass and throw me in the ditch. And, if I’m in Detroit, go ahead and shoot me and steal my car too. Love should not be measured by your actions on Valentine’s Day-same with any other holiday. I will never give into the consumerism that has overtaken seemingly every holiday from Christmas to Administrative Professionals’ Day. I don’t care how much money I have. It’s the principle belief that I would not turn into a pawn for the candy and flower industry that makes a mint on these manufactured holidays. The last time I bought a girl flowers was on December 15. Was that a holiday? Was that a special occasion? No, it was just a regular day. You can’t rely on holidays, such as Valentine’s Day or the horribly conceived Sweetest Day, to express love and do things for your significant other. Grow a spine and do things on you own without the calendar and TV telling you that you have to spend spend spend. And, I’m sure there are many other reasons why I’m single, but so what?