Wine Cookies = Bomb
Guys, wine cookies are in the oven (these are THE BEST COOKIES ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET, and I've never met a person who wasn't a Mariani who thought so (whoa, it was so weird typing out my old last name!) which means, THEY ARE ALL FOR ME!!), Love Actually is playing and CHRISTMAS IS FUCKING ON!
Anyway, let me take you through a baking experience, Darlena-style.
Okay, self, it's easy. You can do this.
Fuck, there's no fucking box.
Calm down, mom emailed you the recipe. That's almost like cooking from the internet.
But these are Grandma's cookies!
JUST DO IT.
Okay, okay. Dry ingredients, hole in the middle, wet ingredients. I got this.
Pour in flour...that *looks* like two teaspoons of baking powder (note to self, buy measuring spoons)...close enough.
Okay, 1 1/2 cups sugar. Shit. You're halving the recipe. (Try unsuccessfully to pour half the sugar back in the bag.) Pour remains of sugar on the flour.
FUCK. Aren't I supposed to beat the sugar with the butter or some shit? (Have you ever tried to get sugar and flour separated after pouring them together? It's not easy. Finally, after getting about half a cup of mostly sugar and a little flour in the cup, I decide to actually check the recipe.)
Oh. No butter in this recipe. No beating together. Dry ingredients. We're good. (Pour sugar back into bowl and mix).
K, 1/3 a cup of lemon and a grated lemon peel.
No. I am not grating a fucking lemon peel, sorry Gram.
UGH OH NO. HALVING RECIPE, DARLENA. GDI. (Teaspoon doesn't get lemon juice out of well made in dry ingredients. OH OH! The old infant medicine syringe. SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!)
3 eggs, split in half. One and a half eggs? Do I take the yolk or the white? Half of each? BAKING IS HARD.
Chocolate chips. K, I got that one. Easy peasy.
Knead until dough isn't sticking to your hands.
AW MAN. I HAVE TO PUT MY HANDS IN THIS. STUPID OLD SCHOOL RECIPES.
Finally, mixed. My hands are gross, GROSS. More flour. Nope, that didn't work. MORE FLOUR! WAIT!!! Not too much flour. We don't want them dry, right? But hands. Hands Gross. Just carry on, you can do this.
Roll 'em up, dip 'em in sugar. Cook for ten minutes.
DRINK HEAVILY.
Watch Love Actually.
YAY!
Anyway, let me take you through a baking experience, Darlena-style.
Okay, self, it's easy. You can do this.
Fuck, there's no fucking box.
Calm down, mom emailed you the recipe. That's almost like cooking from the internet.
But these are Grandma's cookies!
JUST DO IT.
Okay, okay. Dry ingredients, hole in the middle, wet ingredients. I got this.
Pour in flour...that *looks* like two teaspoons of baking powder (note to self, buy measuring spoons)...close enough.
Okay, 1 1/2 cups sugar. Shit. You're halving the recipe. (Try unsuccessfully to pour half the sugar back in the bag.) Pour remains of sugar on the flour.
FUCK. Aren't I supposed to beat the sugar with the butter or some shit? (Have you ever tried to get sugar and flour separated after pouring them together? It's not easy. Finally, after getting about half a cup of mostly sugar and a little flour in the cup, I decide to actually check the recipe.)
Oh. No butter in this recipe. No beating together. Dry ingredients. We're good. (Pour sugar back into bowl and mix).
K, 1/3 a cup of lemon and a grated lemon peel.
No. I am not grating a fucking lemon peel, sorry Gram.
UGH OH NO. HALVING RECIPE, DARLENA. GDI. (Teaspoon doesn't get lemon juice out of well made in dry ingredients. OH OH! The old infant medicine syringe. SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!)
3 eggs, split in half. One and a half eggs? Do I take the yolk or the white? Half of each? BAKING IS HARD.
Chocolate chips. K, I got that one. Easy peasy.
Knead until dough isn't sticking to your hands.
AW MAN. I HAVE TO PUT MY HANDS IN THIS. STUPID OLD SCHOOL RECIPES.
Finally, mixed. My hands are gross, GROSS. More flour. Nope, that didn't work. MORE FLOUR! WAIT!!! Not too much flour. We don't want them dry, right? But hands. Hands Gross. Just carry on, you can do this.
Roll 'em up, dip 'em in sugar. Cook for ten minutes.
DRINK HEAVILY.
Watch Love Actually.
YAY!