It was all in slow motion, and I thought I was going to die...
Yesterday I was helping an Aikido noob learn how to roll (ukemi, it's called). Regular, gymnastics style rolls are pretty easy (put your head straight down and push your feet over), but in Aikido we tend to hit the ground pretty hard, so there's a specifically designed method for doing this that absorbs all the impact and protects your neck and spine from pretty much anything. Yes, even concrete - I did it just yesterday, just to show her. You have to be a bit careful about it, but it's definitely possible, and definitely safe.
Of course, I also calculated that I've done around 125,000 (yes, thousand) rolls in my Aikido career, so I'm sure that helps.
So anyway, as with most people new to this kind of thing, throwing yourself at the ground is kinda scary. Everybody goes through it, but typically, after about half an hour of starting really low (say, with your shoulder already touching the ground), and then gradually working your way up, people realise it can be safe, how to protect themselves, and from there, it's gravy.
Not so with her.
She'd already spent maybe 10 hours rolling by herself before she came to see me. We then spent another two hours with her rolling, me watching and offering advice. We really weren't getting anywhere. There were a handful of little things that no matter what I tried, I couldn't coax out of her. It was as if, at the last possible moment, she was deliberately screwing it up - although I could see how hard she was trying, and there was definitely nothing deliberate about it.
So we continue trying things, and she suddenly stops and says "You know? When I get close to the ground, I feel this fear .."
"Fear eh?" I think, "hmm."
".. but it's ok," she continues, "I just need to push through it. I can feel it getting smaller"
I think a bit more
"Ok, this isn't exactly Aikido syllabus, and if you want to continue, then please do, but there's a much, much faster way to have a go at getting rid of that fear."
"Really?" She says.
"It's a bit oogie woogie though" I warn her.
"Let's do it!"
Hehe, ok.
So we sit down, drink some water, I show her the basic technique "Don't be afraid of saying the same thing over and over - being boring, that's fine, it works well." "We tap the karate chop to get you tuned in to the problem." "Just say 'Even though blah blah, I love and accept.. or accept and forgive.. or respect and approve of myself'.. or, you know, whatever feels right. It just helps relax you about the problem. It's ok to have this problem, AND it's still ok to be you."
After that quick whizz through, I get her to do-what-I-do, and I just say general stuff "I'm afraid of hitting the ground," "I fear I might hurt myself," "I don't want to whack my face into the dirt" this kind of thing. All pretty light hearted, just talking around the subject a bit (since I don't actually know exactly what she's afraid of).
We do a few rounds, 3 or 4 max, then stop. "How does that feel?" I ask. She doesn't know. So I get her to drink some more water, then suggest we get up, do some more rolls and see how she feels.
"You know, " she stops me, "years ago, I had a parachuting accident. I thought I was going to die."
I look at her.
"That's weird. I haven't thought about that in YEARS."
I look at her some more.
Hmm. Almost died. Hitting the ground. Hmm. Think this might be connected?
So we sit back down again, but this time I get her to do the talking. She closes her eyes (so she won't be distracted), and talks about it.
"The instructor told me I'd be safe"
"It was too windy, but they sent us out anyway"
"Everything was in slow motion"
"I saw the ground coming up towards me"
"I thought I was doing to die"
"I was so afraid"
"They told me I wasn't going to walk again"
"But I am walking"
"At least I'm walking again"
...and so on.
Again, 3 or 4 rounds, tops. Then she stops. "That's it!" she says. "It's so weird, I haven't thought about that in absolutely years"
Total time taken, including explanations? About 5 minutes, tops.
So we get up, and suddenly she's throwing herself at the ground three times faster than before. Many of the problems she was having have instantly disappeared. Still not quite perfect, of course, but a damn sight closer. More importantly, she's getting up grinning from ear to ear "Hey! This is FUN! I want to keep doing these!"
Awesome. Yay tapping, that's what I say.
Of course, I also calculated that I've done around 125,000 (yes, thousand) rolls in my Aikido career, so I'm sure that helps.
So anyway, as with most people new to this kind of thing, throwing yourself at the ground is kinda scary. Everybody goes through it, but typically, after about half an hour of starting really low (say, with your shoulder already touching the ground), and then gradually working your way up, people realise it can be safe, how to protect themselves, and from there, it's gravy.
Not so with her.
She'd already spent maybe 10 hours rolling by herself before she came to see me. We then spent another two hours with her rolling, me watching and offering advice. We really weren't getting anywhere. There were a handful of little things that no matter what I tried, I couldn't coax out of her. It was as if, at the last possible moment, she was deliberately screwing it up - although I could see how hard she was trying, and there was definitely nothing deliberate about it.
So we continue trying things, and she suddenly stops and says "You know? When I get close to the ground, I feel this fear .."
"Fear eh?" I think, "hmm."
".. but it's ok," she continues, "I just need to push through it. I can feel it getting smaller"
I think a bit more
"Ok, this isn't exactly Aikido syllabus, and if you want to continue, then please do, but there's a much, much faster way to have a go at getting rid of that fear."
"Really?" She says.
"It's a bit oogie woogie though" I warn her.
"Let's do it!"
Hehe, ok.
So we sit down, drink some water, I show her the basic technique "Don't be afraid of saying the same thing over and over - being boring, that's fine, it works well." "We tap the karate chop to get you tuned in to the problem." "Just say 'Even though blah blah, I love and accept.. or accept and forgive.. or respect and approve of myself'.. or, you know, whatever feels right. It just helps relax you about the problem. It's ok to have this problem, AND it's still ok to be you."
After that quick whizz through, I get her to do-what-I-do, and I just say general stuff "I'm afraid of hitting the ground," "I fear I might hurt myself," "I don't want to whack my face into the dirt" this kind of thing. All pretty light hearted, just talking around the subject a bit (since I don't actually know exactly what she's afraid of).
We do a few rounds, 3 or 4 max, then stop. "How does that feel?" I ask. She doesn't know. So I get her to drink some more water, then suggest we get up, do some more rolls and see how she feels.
"You know, " she stops me, "years ago, I had a parachuting accident. I thought I was going to die."
I look at her.
"That's weird. I haven't thought about that in YEARS."
I look at her some more.
Hmm. Almost died. Hitting the ground. Hmm. Think this might be connected?
So we sit back down again, but this time I get her to do the talking. She closes her eyes (so she won't be distracted), and talks about it.
"The instructor told me I'd be safe"
"It was too windy, but they sent us out anyway"
"Everything was in slow motion"
"I saw the ground coming up towards me"
"I thought I was doing to die"
"I was so afraid"
"They told me I wasn't going to walk again"
"But I am walking"
"At least I'm walking again"
...and so on.
Again, 3 or 4 rounds, tops. Then she stops. "That's it!" she says. "It's so weird, I haven't thought about that in absolutely years"
Total time taken, including explanations? About 5 minutes, tops.
So we get up, and suddenly she's throwing herself at the ground three times faster than before. Many of the problems she was having have instantly disappeared. Still not quite perfect, of course, but a damn sight closer. More importantly, she's getting up grinning from ear to ear "Hey! This is FUN! I want to keep doing these!"
Awesome. Yay tapping, that's what I say.