Warehouse 13, South Dakota, Friday
Okay, so Claudia had totally now spent most of her week making out with the adorable luddite Todd.
Look, he was there, okay? And after that first disaster-date, he was even cute and sweet and nice and he kissed really well. And he totally wasn't going to hold "I'm only back in town for Spring Break" against her. And it was fun. She really liked knowing that there were boys that liked her. It did the poor little rejected foster-kid that still lurked inside good.
But she so couldn't concentrate on that, today. While she might idly dream of kisses and make-outs while she was in the Warehouse, her focus was on something way more awesome and important.
The Warehouse was getting a computer upgrade. Finally!
Not that Claudia got to do the upgrading. The system was too massive for her to overhaul by herself -- and she was seventeen and still not even quite officially an apprentice agent -- so they had some bigwig from some fancy-shmancy super-secret tech company coming in to do the dirty work, but Claudia wasn't going to let that keep her down. She'd just sidle on up to Mr. Big-Shot and prove she was completely invaluable to the system by helping out. Like now, see, dude was leaning over the Pit of Technological Despair like he'd dropped something. She could totally go be awesome by helping him get it and introduce herself.
"Here, let me." She slipped Ben Franklin's ring -- amped up human energy, which for some reason gave her awesome reach -- and lay down to retrieve the tool from the pit. "There you go. I drop stuff in here all the time."
"Thanks!" Dude smiled. He was even kinda cute in an uber-dork way, all glasses and shrimpy enthusiasm. And Claudia loved her some uber-dorks. "I'm Douglas Fargo, from GD. Most people just call me Fargo."
Claudia opened her mouth to give some flirty, self-assured answer, like "well, see you around then, Doug," when the reason why his name sounded so familiar finally clicked and what came out was "BABY-DADDY!"
"Um," said Fargo. "That's . . . direct?"
"No, I -- sorry, you just -- it's a reeeeeeeally long story and suffice to say . . ." She scrabbled for some explanation other than 'I've met our potential future child at my school were things like potential future children showing up totally happens all the time'. ". . . that I totally have recently developed a very swift, short term case of tourettes!" Right. "Screw you! Balls! Whoop, there, it's gone now."
"The short term tourettes."
"It's a rare strain."
Really, the only thing that could top that would be the Warehouse trying to kill them all.
*
Claudia was never allowed to have thoughts like that again.
"I'm so sorry," she told Todd on the phone. "I can't make it to lunch. We're kind of . . . having an emergency at work, and I can't get away."
"Uh, okay. We'll have a rain check, then?" Todd suggested. "Dinner?"
"If we live that long," Claudia muttered.
"What?" asked Todd.
"It's going to kill us?" Fargo asked.
"No! Maybe!"
"Who's that?" asked Todd.
"It's -- nobody."
"I'm nobody?" Fargo said, sounding hurt.
"No! I just -- I'm talking to Todd, okay?"
"Oh." Fargo nodded. "Who's Todd?"
"Nobody!"
"I'm nobody?" Todd said.
Claudia groaned. "No! Look, I really have to --"
"Personal communications devices should be limited to Warehouse business, only," said the killer computer program.
"Who's that?" Todd asked.
"Oh god, we're going to die!" said Fargo. "I didn't do it!"
"Yeah, you are so Stan's dad," Claudia muttered.
"Who is Stan?!" both Todd and Fargo asked at the same time.
"NOBODY!" Claudia yelled. And then the killer computer program blew her phone up with a laser.
Why were relationships so hard?
*
It had taken all day -- and a wild, "yay, we survived and were awesome!" kiss shared with Fargo over turning his laser cutter into a lightsaber thing (take that, Jedi at school who wouldn't let her try to dismantle theirs!) during which she realized that Fargo was indeed not the top of her "boys I've kissed this week" list -- but Claudia finally made it back to the B&B, using Myka's cellphone to shoot Todd a call on her way so they could have their very belated lunch.
"Hey," she said, offering him a smile. "Sooooo, got those Doritos?"
"Hey." Todd was not smiling. "Sorry, I. I can't do this."
"What?"
"I didn't want to tell you just over the phone. I just -- we really need to stop."
"Is this 'cause of the whole 'nobody' thing? Because I can explain all that --"
"No. It's not. You didn't do anything. I just can't."
And then he was gone.
Relationships sucked.
[ooc: vastly paraphrased from the episode "13.1". NFI, as Claudia's phone is 'sploded, but OOC is always welcome.]
Look, he was there, okay? And after that first disaster-date, he was even cute and sweet and nice and he kissed really well. And he totally wasn't going to hold "I'm only back in town for Spring Break" against her. And it was fun. She really liked knowing that there were boys that liked her. It did the poor little rejected foster-kid that still lurked inside good.
But she so couldn't concentrate on that, today. While she might idly dream of kisses and make-outs while she was in the Warehouse, her focus was on something way more awesome and important.
The Warehouse was getting a computer upgrade. Finally!
Not that Claudia got to do the upgrading. The system was too massive for her to overhaul by herself -- and she was seventeen and still not even quite officially an apprentice agent -- so they had some bigwig from some fancy-shmancy super-secret tech company coming in to do the dirty work, but Claudia wasn't going to let that keep her down. She'd just sidle on up to Mr. Big-Shot and prove she was completely invaluable to the system by helping out. Like now, see, dude was leaning over the Pit of Technological Despair like he'd dropped something. She could totally go be awesome by helping him get it and introduce herself.
"Here, let me." She slipped Ben Franklin's ring -- amped up human energy, which for some reason gave her awesome reach -- and lay down to retrieve the tool from the pit. "There you go. I drop stuff in here all the time."
"Thanks!" Dude smiled. He was even kinda cute in an uber-dork way, all glasses and shrimpy enthusiasm. And Claudia loved her some uber-dorks. "I'm Douglas Fargo, from GD. Most people just call me Fargo."
Claudia opened her mouth to give some flirty, self-assured answer, like "well, see you around then, Doug," when the reason why his name sounded so familiar finally clicked and what came out was "BABY-DADDY!"
"Um," said Fargo. "That's . . . direct?"
"No, I -- sorry, you just -- it's a reeeeeeeally long story and suffice to say . . ." She scrabbled for some explanation other than 'I've met our potential future child at my school were things like potential future children showing up totally happens all the time'. ". . . that I totally have recently developed a very swift, short term case of tourettes!" Right. "Screw you! Balls! Whoop, there, it's gone now."
"The short term tourettes."
"It's a rare strain."
Really, the only thing that could top that would be the Warehouse trying to kill them all.
*
Claudia was never allowed to have thoughts like that again.
"I'm so sorry," she told Todd on the phone. "I can't make it to lunch. We're kind of . . . having an emergency at work, and I can't get away."
"Uh, okay. We'll have a rain check, then?" Todd suggested. "Dinner?"
"If we live that long," Claudia muttered.
"What?" asked Todd.
"It's going to kill us?" Fargo asked.
"No! Maybe!"
"Who's that?" asked Todd.
"It's -- nobody."
"I'm nobody?" Fargo said, sounding hurt.
"No! I just -- I'm talking to Todd, okay?"
"Oh." Fargo nodded. "Who's Todd?"
"Nobody!"
"I'm nobody?" Todd said.
Claudia groaned. "No! Look, I really have to --"
"Personal communications devices should be limited to Warehouse business, only," said the killer computer program.
"Who's that?" Todd asked.
"Oh god, we're going to die!" said Fargo. "I didn't do it!"
"Yeah, you are so Stan's dad," Claudia muttered.
"Who is Stan?!" both Todd and Fargo asked at the same time.
"NOBODY!" Claudia yelled. And then the killer computer program blew her phone up with a laser.
Why were relationships so hard?
*
It had taken all day -- and a wild, "yay, we survived and were awesome!" kiss shared with Fargo over turning his laser cutter into a lightsaber thing (take that, Jedi at school who wouldn't let her try to dismantle theirs!) during which she realized that Fargo was indeed not the top of her "boys I've kissed this week" list -- but Claudia finally made it back to the B&B, using Myka's cellphone to shoot Todd a call on her way so they could have their very belated lunch.
"Hey," she said, offering him a smile. "Sooooo, got those Doritos?"
"Hey." Todd was not smiling. "Sorry, I. I can't do this."
"What?"
"I didn't want to tell you just over the phone. I just -- we really need to stop."
"Is this 'cause of the whole 'nobody' thing? Because I can explain all that --"
"No. It's not. You didn't do anything. I just can't."
And then he was gone.
Relationships sucked.
[ooc: vastly paraphrased from the episode "13.1". NFI, as Claudia's phone is 'sploded, but OOC is always welcome.]