[True_Writers 14.4: "There's too much at stake."]
OOC: References the same event mentioned here; RP-based prompt response.
Sam is surprised when Kara comes in his room, dressed in black pants and a sports bra, her hair pulled messily away back from her face. "You want to go for a run?"
His window is covered in some kind of plastic material that makes the view a little blurry (glass is hard to come by), but he can tell it's raining; hard enough that he can hear it beating against the roof. "Now? It's pouring down rain outside."
Kara's mouth tightens. He can see the tension in her body, the way her muscles are coiled as if she's about to fight. Knowing Kara, she probably is. "Fine," she says, voice short, and turns away. "I'll go by myself."
"Hey. Kara." Sam rolls his eyes where she can't see and says, in the most even voice he can manage because she's obviously pissed about something, "I'll go with you, okay? I was just making sure you knew it was raining."
That was the wrong thing to say. Kara turns around, glares at him. "I know it's frakking raining, Sam, I'm not a moron." She is retreating from him, he can see it; both in the way she takes a step back in the hallway, and the way her eyes move past him and focus on something else. She's done this to him too many times for him not to recognize it for what it is. "Forget it."
"You know how long it's been since I've gone for a run in the rain? Just give me a sec, I've gotta find my shoes." Sam stays where he is, doesn't approach her, but meets her gaze calmly with his hands resting at his sides. Kara stares at him for a few seconds and then gives a sharp nod, turning to walk down the hallway.
He meets her in the kitchen, where she's drinking a glass of water. He notices there's a knife on the counter, sitting on top of a folded towel. It wasn't there last night, Sam had done the dishes from dinner before bed. Kara is staring at it like it's going to jump up and bite her. It's not a knife he recognizes, and if there's one thing they're all aware of in their house, it's knives. "What's--"
"Drop it, Sam," she says in warning, turning and slamming her glass too hard on the counter. He follows her out into the rain and she starts running without stretching, without warming up. He lets her sets the pace and he stays quiet, because something has happened and he'll just have to wait for her to tell him what it is.
"I had a nightmare last night," Kara says at length, and Sam looks over at her, the way she's staring straight ahead as she runs. He wonders if they have any sort of set path, or if she's running without any idea where they're going. "Leoben tried to wake me up. I stabbed him in the shoulder."
Sam was expecting that whatever she was going to tell him was probably about Leoben--Sam had heard Leoben in the kitchen earlier, had heard him leave the house without any idea where he was going. But he wasn't expecting Kara to say I stabbed him, and he looks over at her in concern. "You--what? You stabbed him?"
Kara looks at him, and then quickly away. "I put that knife under my mattress the first night we moved in. My frakking nightmare was about Leoben. He shouldn't have woken me up."
There are a thousand things he could say to that. Why did you put a knife under your bed and why do you love him if you still have nightmares about him, or why don't you kick him the frak out, then chief among them. But Sam doesn't say anything, just waits for Kara to finish.
"I didn't realize what I was doing. He took the knife and left my room, and this morning I guess he washed it. He left me a note and said if he'd known what I was dreaming about, he would have sent you to wake me up." Kara's mouth twists. "Then he told me I could put the knife back under my bed, if I wanted."
"Oh," Sam says, because what the frak else is he supposed to say? He doesn't understand Kara and Leoben's relationship, not really, not beyond the obvious physical attraction they can barely hide. "Is he okay?"
She looks briefly startled at that. "Yeah. I just knicked his shoulder." Kara comes to a stop, breathing hard, raking a hand through her sodden hair. The rain has eased a bit, it's only drizzling, but there's an ominous rumbling of thunder in the distance. This is only a short reprieve. "What the frak am I doing, Sam?" she shakes her head, looks at him, and he's struck suddenly by how lovely she is, how young she looks standing in the rain.
"The best you can," Sam says, and tentatively reaches out, draws her into his arms. He's surprised that she comes willingly, surprised how easily she tucks herself against him and clutches at his shoulders. He shouldn't really be surprised; knowing Kara, this was all she really wanted, but had to drag him out into the rain-soaked morning for a run before she could let him hug her.
Kara slides her arms around his waist, rests her head against his chest. "I know what you're thinking," she says, her voice muffled by his wet shirt. "If the frakking bastard gives me nightmares, why do I want him in our house?"
Sam rubs his hands up and down her back, her arms. "Is that what I'm thinking, or what you're thinking?"
Kara looks up at him. "I don't know. It's complicated."
He smiles down at her, brushes the rain off her face. "Yeah. I figured." He sighs, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I don't know what to tell you, Kara. I don't get the two of you a lot of the time. Do you want him out of the house?" It should feel stranger than it does, maybe, holding his wife while she talks about her lover. But it doesn't, not really, and he's almost surprised about that.
"No," Kara says, and tries to pull away from him. Sam doesn't let her, keeps her held tight in his arms. She's mad about that, he can tell. "But you do, I know."
"Kara--" he puts his hands on her shoulders, forces her to look up at him. "I didn't say that. Did I say that?"
She's stubbornly silent for a long moment, but eventually shakes her head and says sullenly, "No."
"If you want him to leave, then that's on you. Don't use me to chase him away." Sam holds her face between his hands, captures her gaze with his. "I'm not going to be the excuse you use to get rid of him."
She scowls at that, pushes at his chest. "Let me go."
"No," Sam says, shaking his head. The rain is falling harder now, the storm catching up with them. "I'm not letting you go. Ever. Kara, that's why I'm doing this, that's why I'm here."
"Gods, Sam," she says, sighing, but she stops pushing at him and gives him the slightest of smiles. "Don't be such a girl."
Sam taps her lightly on the face, rolls his eyes and steps away from her. "Whatever, Thrace. I'll race you back to the house." He grins at her, leaning down in a runner's starting stance. "Come on. We'll go on three."
"No Cylon-super-powers, or that's not fair," she says, and her smile widens to a grin as she takes her stance beside him.
"Life's not fair, Starbuck," he tells her, and sprints off wihtout bothering to count. "Try to keep up," he calls over his shoulder. The rain hits him in the face, stings his eyes, but he doesn't care. She's cursing at him but he laughs, and runs, and lets her get close enough before he pulls away at the end. Predictably she tries to hit him, and they end up kissing in the rain.
Their shower is outside, and once they're standing beneath the hot water she's all over him, warm naked skin pressed to his, and he's certainly not in the mood to tell her no. He puts her up on the wall of the shower and watches her face the whole time, her legs around his waist, her eyes closed and her head tipped back in pleasure. When it's over she buries her face against his neck and kisses his racing pulse. "I love you," she tells him softly, while the storm picks up and tosses the tarp covering the top of the shower in the wind. It's getting chilly and the hot water is beginning to turn cold.
"I love you too, baby," Sam tells her, and she lets him hold her for a minute before she leaves him with a quick kiss. Sam finishes up in the shower and realizes she took the only dry towel, which shouldn't really surprise him.
When he's dressed, her finds her in the kitchen. Leoben is there, and they're talking in low voices. Sam hovers at the entrance to the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt. Kara's hair is loose, drying around her face, and Leoben looks as if he's just come in from the rain. She and Leoben are standing a ways apart, but Sam can feel something between them, almost tangible, and he figures whatever it is it's the reason she doesn't want him to go.
It doesn't make sense to him, but it doesn't really need to.
He can't hear what Leoben is saying, but Kara crosses the kitchen and stops right in front of him. "You can put that away. With the others," she says, nodding towards the knife that is still on the counter.
"You're certain?" Leoben asks, and Kara glares at him, just as fierce a glare as she'd given Sam earlier.
"I frakking said it, didn't I?" She turns and walks out of the kitchen, looking up at Sam with a challenging expression. Sam chokes back a laugh when he sees Leoben cast his eyes upwards and sigh; few things visibly exasperate the other man, but Kara is definitely one of them. Kara catches Sam laughing and says with a mock-glare, "What the frak are you laughing at, Anders?" and hits him lightly on the shoulder as she passes.
"Didn't say a thing," Sam calls after her. He walks into the kitchen, gets himself a glass of water. "You might want to leave waking her up from nightmares to me for a while," he says to Leoben.
"I noticed," Leoben says, and picks up the knife. He puts it with the others, his fingers lightly touching the blade like a caress before he closes the drawer. There's an odd smile on his face Sam doesn't really understand, and isn't sure he wants to.
No one has any nightmares that night, and in the morning, there's no bloody cutlery to be found. Sam counts it as a win. One day at a time.
Sam is surprised when Kara comes in his room, dressed in black pants and a sports bra, her hair pulled messily away back from her face. "You want to go for a run?"
His window is covered in some kind of plastic material that makes the view a little blurry (glass is hard to come by), but he can tell it's raining; hard enough that he can hear it beating against the roof. "Now? It's pouring down rain outside."
Kara's mouth tightens. He can see the tension in her body, the way her muscles are coiled as if she's about to fight. Knowing Kara, she probably is. "Fine," she says, voice short, and turns away. "I'll go by myself."
"Hey. Kara." Sam rolls his eyes where she can't see and says, in the most even voice he can manage because she's obviously pissed about something, "I'll go with you, okay? I was just making sure you knew it was raining."
That was the wrong thing to say. Kara turns around, glares at him. "I know it's frakking raining, Sam, I'm not a moron." She is retreating from him, he can see it; both in the way she takes a step back in the hallway, and the way her eyes move past him and focus on something else. She's done this to him too many times for him not to recognize it for what it is. "Forget it."
"You know how long it's been since I've gone for a run in the rain? Just give me a sec, I've gotta find my shoes." Sam stays where he is, doesn't approach her, but meets her gaze calmly with his hands resting at his sides. Kara stares at him for a few seconds and then gives a sharp nod, turning to walk down the hallway.
He meets her in the kitchen, where she's drinking a glass of water. He notices there's a knife on the counter, sitting on top of a folded towel. It wasn't there last night, Sam had done the dishes from dinner before bed. Kara is staring at it like it's going to jump up and bite her. It's not a knife he recognizes, and if there's one thing they're all aware of in their house, it's knives. "What's--"
"Drop it, Sam," she says in warning, turning and slamming her glass too hard on the counter. He follows her out into the rain and she starts running without stretching, without warming up. He lets her sets the pace and he stays quiet, because something has happened and he'll just have to wait for her to tell him what it is.
"I had a nightmare last night," Kara says at length, and Sam looks over at her, the way she's staring straight ahead as she runs. He wonders if they have any sort of set path, or if she's running without any idea where they're going. "Leoben tried to wake me up. I stabbed him in the shoulder."
Sam was expecting that whatever she was going to tell him was probably about Leoben--Sam had heard Leoben in the kitchen earlier, had heard him leave the house without any idea where he was going. But he wasn't expecting Kara to say I stabbed him, and he looks over at her in concern. "You--what? You stabbed him?"
Kara looks at him, and then quickly away. "I put that knife under my mattress the first night we moved in. My frakking nightmare was about Leoben. He shouldn't have woken me up."
There are a thousand things he could say to that. Why did you put a knife under your bed and why do you love him if you still have nightmares about him, or why don't you kick him the frak out, then chief among them. But Sam doesn't say anything, just waits for Kara to finish.
"I didn't realize what I was doing. He took the knife and left my room, and this morning I guess he washed it. He left me a note and said if he'd known what I was dreaming about, he would have sent you to wake me up." Kara's mouth twists. "Then he told me I could put the knife back under my bed, if I wanted."
"Oh," Sam says, because what the frak else is he supposed to say? He doesn't understand Kara and Leoben's relationship, not really, not beyond the obvious physical attraction they can barely hide. "Is he okay?"
She looks briefly startled at that. "Yeah. I just knicked his shoulder." Kara comes to a stop, breathing hard, raking a hand through her sodden hair. The rain has eased a bit, it's only drizzling, but there's an ominous rumbling of thunder in the distance. This is only a short reprieve. "What the frak am I doing, Sam?" she shakes her head, looks at him, and he's struck suddenly by how lovely she is, how young she looks standing in the rain.
"The best you can," Sam says, and tentatively reaches out, draws her into his arms. He's surprised that she comes willingly, surprised how easily she tucks herself against him and clutches at his shoulders. He shouldn't really be surprised; knowing Kara, this was all she really wanted, but had to drag him out into the rain-soaked morning for a run before she could let him hug her.
Kara slides her arms around his waist, rests her head against his chest. "I know what you're thinking," she says, her voice muffled by his wet shirt. "If the frakking bastard gives me nightmares, why do I want him in our house?"
Sam rubs his hands up and down her back, her arms. "Is that what I'm thinking, or what you're thinking?"
Kara looks up at him. "I don't know. It's complicated."
He smiles down at her, brushes the rain off her face. "Yeah. I figured." He sighs, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I don't know what to tell you, Kara. I don't get the two of you a lot of the time. Do you want him out of the house?" It should feel stranger than it does, maybe, holding his wife while she talks about her lover. But it doesn't, not really, and he's almost surprised about that.
"No," Kara says, and tries to pull away from him. Sam doesn't let her, keeps her held tight in his arms. She's mad about that, he can tell. "But you do, I know."
"Kara--" he puts his hands on her shoulders, forces her to look up at him. "I didn't say that. Did I say that?"
She's stubbornly silent for a long moment, but eventually shakes her head and says sullenly, "No."
"If you want him to leave, then that's on you. Don't use me to chase him away." Sam holds her face between his hands, captures her gaze with his. "I'm not going to be the excuse you use to get rid of him."
She scowls at that, pushes at his chest. "Let me go."
"No," Sam says, shaking his head. The rain is falling harder now, the storm catching up with them. "I'm not letting you go. Ever. Kara, that's why I'm doing this, that's why I'm here."
"Gods, Sam," she says, sighing, but she stops pushing at him and gives him the slightest of smiles. "Don't be such a girl."
Sam taps her lightly on the face, rolls his eyes and steps away from her. "Whatever, Thrace. I'll race you back to the house." He grins at her, leaning down in a runner's starting stance. "Come on. We'll go on three."
"No Cylon-super-powers, or that's not fair," she says, and her smile widens to a grin as she takes her stance beside him.
"Life's not fair, Starbuck," he tells her, and sprints off wihtout bothering to count. "Try to keep up," he calls over his shoulder. The rain hits him in the face, stings his eyes, but he doesn't care. She's cursing at him but he laughs, and runs, and lets her get close enough before he pulls away at the end. Predictably she tries to hit him, and they end up kissing in the rain.
Their shower is outside, and once they're standing beneath the hot water she's all over him, warm naked skin pressed to his, and he's certainly not in the mood to tell her no. He puts her up on the wall of the shower and watches her face the whole time, her legs around his waist, her eyes closed and her head tipped back in pleasure. When it's over she buries her face against his neck and kisses his racing pulse. "I love you," she tells him softly, while the storm picks up and tosses the tarp covering the top of the shower in the wind. It's getting chilly and the hot water is beginning to turn cold.
"I love you too, baby," Sam tells her, and she lets him hold her for a minute before she leaves him with a quick kiss. Sam finishes up in the shower and realizes she took the only dry towel, which shouldn't really surprise him.
When he's dressed, her finds her in the kitchen. Leoben is there, and they're talking in low voices. Sam hovers at the entrance to the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt. Kara's hair is loose, drying around her face, and Leoben looks as if he's just come in from the rain. She and Leoben are standing a ways apart, but Sam can feel something between them, almost tangible, and he figures whatever it is it's the reason she doesn't want him to go.
It doesn't make sense to him, but it doesn't really need to.
He can't hear what Leoben is saying, but Kara crosses the kitchen and stops right in front of him. "You can put that away. With the others," she says, nodding towards the knife that is still on the counter.
"You're certain?" Leoben asks, and Kara glares at him, just as fierce a glare as she'd given Sam earlier.
"I frakking said it, didn't I?" She turns and walks out of the kitchen, looking up at Sam with a challenging expression. Sam chokes back a laugh when he sees Leoben cast his eyes upwards and sigh; few things visibly exasperate the other man, but Kara is definitely one of them. Kara catches Sam laughing and says with a mock-glare, "What the frak are you laughing at, Anders?" and hits him lightly on the shoulder as she passes.
"Didn't say a thing," Sam calls after her. He walks into the kitchen, gets himself a glass of water. "You might want to leave waking her up from nightmares to me for a while," he says to Leoben.
"I noticed," Leoben says, and picks up the knife. He puts it with the others, his fingers lightly touching the blade like a caress before he closes the drawer. There's an odd smile on his face Sam doesn't really understand, and isn't sure he wants to.
No one has any nightmares that night, and in the morning, there's no bloody cutlery to be found. Sam counts it as a win. One day at a time.