Still lost...

Nov 11, 2004 08:10

Pedro, you've come through again for me.  Somehow I just "missed" a Pedro the Lion [EP].  I knew there was one [EP] that I had not purchased, but for some reason I always assumed I had the mp3's from the album.  I have it now but I'm angry because I've missed out on this album for so long. 
(A heroin addict's conversation with God) - Pedro the Lion - Nothing:

If only the rules were
built upon philosophy that I embraced
I'd hug your neck and kiss your face,
but it's very obvious
that your ideals are not for me.
You'll tell me what to do
but you will see that I do as I please.

Cause I want to
do it my way,
and I want to fly,
I want to
do it my way,
cause I want to fly.

The problem with rules is
they alienate the criminals when whose to say
if what they did was wrong that day.
If you'd open your mind up
you'd see that there is nothing that's always wrong.
No matter what you say,
it's just not true that there's only one way.

Cause I want to
do it my way,
cause I want to fly,
I want to
do it my way,
and I want to fly.

I hope we have ourselves an understanding.
I hope we have ourselves an understanding.
I hope we have ourselves an understanding

"The ultimate diss"...   It's something I've really never dreamed of telling God, but something I find quite a bit of truth in.  Its not "the ultimate diss" -  Its admitting the truth.  We're used to denying the truth if it reflects badly upon us.  It pisses me off when people disguise the intent for their actions so that they can live with themselves.  We all do it, all of the damned time.  We can hide intent from others and even from ourselves, but we cannot hide intent from God.  Admit defeat.  Quitting and admitting defeat are two very different things. 
I don't consider myself a religious guy by any means, but I do have religious beliefs that I hold true and do my best to live by.  Some things are very difficult to understand, and I believe that there are no specific answers to these questions.  No person or group has the ability to draw the line between what is "acceptable" and "unacceptable" in the eyes of God.  It depends on your personal relationship with God and his expectations of you under the circumstances you are in.

I did not intend to fly off subject and express my religious beliefs.  After copying the song lyrics I thought that I might should clarify, and then it turned into a personal campaign - my apologies.

Pedro the Lion - Lullaby

The sun shines
and leaves blow
and my hope like autumn
is turning brown.
And I know it seems like
I'm always falling down.

It's up hill
both ways,
tomorrow I swear
I won't act this way.
And I know it seems like
that is what I always say.

Its so hard to turn my life around.  I want to give up and say it can't be done.  Nobody understands... but this excuse is getting old, and I am getting lonely.  I've been through very hard times in my life, but none as hard as this.  Every day I think some solution is just going to find me, and every night I hate myself for being so naive.
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