viva la revolution
uh. surprise update people. so much has happened to me over the past.. (counts)..
wow, i guess its been over 4 months. i realized that nothing in my life could be
"fixed." i like to think i've always had a pretty level head, mainly
because what i "accepted" i rationalized based upon the knowledge i had
of whatever i was "accepting." i accepted myself a few months ago..
every single miniscule detail. there was no fear that i wasn't doing
what was best, there was no feeling that something was wrong; it was
the first time that my heart actually accepted anything. i guess its
like living in chaos for over 19 years while constantly trying to
figure out what the cause is. i found answers everywhere i looked, but
they weren't the right answer. each wrong answer frustrated me more
than the last, and i eventually lost all hope that i could ever find
something that i could be satisfied with, "a belief." fate found me
when i could not even find myself, and the intense frustration that i
had grown so accustomed to consuming my every second was replaced by
"the moment."