[HOUSE] The Space Between
The Space Between
Allison Cameron, James Wilson, Gregory House PG, 2181 words,
"Did you really believe that I would be the one to break?"
Cameron
course change
She sits in House’s office with her elbows on her knees; chin in her hands. House was nowhere to be found, per usual, which was fine with her. He was probably hiding in the maternity ward in order to avoid clinic duty. That would explain why she saw Cuddy earlier; head darting back and forth in a vain attempt to find him. Hopefully, he wouldn’t surface until she had gone home for the night. She just needed a break from him and his verbal volleys. The last few weeks have been exhausting for her, both mentally and physically. Emotions have begun to swamp her and it was beginning to take its toll on her. Anger, shame, and pain take up the most room in the litany of why her heart feels so heavy. Today was no better than yesterday and she knows tomorrow will be more of the same.
When had she become this woman? Changing from aggressive personality to this; a woman who feels the need to watch from doorways. Some days she felt secure and confident in herself, the next brought low by Chase’s suggestion that she had sabotaged herself. Cameron grimaced when she thought of Chase. No need to readdress that mistake; House had made sure everyone knew about that.
She heard someone enter the office and stand near her. The silence continued as she made no effort to address this intruder.
"He's not quite over her yet."
An intruder who states the obvious.
She chortled, "I think I figured that one out. And all by myself."
Wilson crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, shaking his head sympathetically. "He can't, you know."
Cameron's amusement faded and the silence grew heavy between them. She leaned back in her chair and turned her head to face him. "Maybe I am a fool. Because I know I’ll stand right here and if I wait long enough he'll say to me, I'm ready." She shook her head. "Is that insane? Too willingly wait for someone who is just not able or might never be?"
Wilson held her stare. "I don't know if it's insane, maybe it’s just not enough. I think you’re capable Cameron, capable of a great amount of sensitivity and good. And I don’t want to watch you become a pawn in this game he’s playing.”
“Do you remember when you told me to watch out for him, watch out for his heart?” she countered. “Did you really believe that I would be the one to break it?”
“I don’t know; what do you want to hear? Do you want to hear that yes, maybe I did. I thought you could do that very easily. C’mon Cameron, everyone could see the attraction there. It was blatant. But sometimes it’s about timing and right now, you lose.” Wilson ran a hand through his hair and started to pace slowly behind her.
She turned back to stare outside at the snow drifting around, swirling around creating a white vortex. “So now we’re back to where we started…with timing and with her. These days it always seems to come back to her.” The last was said on a whisper, voice trailing off.
Wilson stopped his pacing which landed him in front of her chair. He bent his knees and placed his hands on either side of her arms. She was forced to look at him straight on. “You know, I have been friends with him for what feels like a lifetime and I don’t always agree with his tactics but most of the time he has to work through these things his own way.”
“Despite whom he might hurt in the process.” Not a question, a statement.
"Isn't this cozy? Be careful Wilson, Julie might find out." Both Cameron and Wilson jumped slightly. They had been so engrossed in their conversation they had not heard House enter the room.
She closed her eyes, willing House to go away and allow her a moment of reprieve. She shot back without opening them, “Be careful House, Stacy might find out what an ass you are. Oops, wait she did and left, that’s right.”
Wilson stood up and took a step back, wincing at her tone. She pushed herself out of the chair she had been occupying and started to gather her coat and bag; brushing past Wilson in the process. She turned with it on and left without another word.
"What was that all about?"
"Nothing that could possibly interest you." Wilson shrugged.
"You know I could always find out. Have to keep on top of these kids, you know."
Wilson cocked his head at House, "Find out anyway it takes. Isn't that your MO?"
House stared back, not saying a word.
Wilson threw up his hands and turned on his heel. "Be careful. You might get what you wished for."
Wilson
diversions
Wilson wonders at her tenacity. Despite what she's been through these past few months and the ups and downs of this job in general, she continues to tolerate House and the demands of being a member of his team. He was surprised by her revelation to him last month about her late husband and her feelings for his best friend. In a way, he always pictured Allison as weak with noble tendencies. This new bit of knowledge from her; challenged his perceptions and gained him a deeper insight to her true strength of character.
Last year, when she started to show interest in House and he could perceive
House's concealed interest in her; he worried for the both of them. He had a feeling that someone was going to get hurt and it was just easier to warn her. But in the end, deep down, he knew that House was going to be the one to ruin things. He knew that their date did not go as expected for either one of them and he was slightly disappointed. But he had a suspicion that their story wasn’t over yet.
Then Stacy had returned.
He always liked Stacy. She was always so cool and efficient and he understood the attraction that House had for her. She always stood toe to toe with him and very rarely, if ever, backed down. True, the man Stacy had loved all those years ago is not the same man today but there is a certain spark between the two that lies dormant just waiting for something to ignite it. And he had a feeling they wouldn’t be waiting much longer.
But how much longer would Cameron wait for House? Watching the two of them was entertaining at best and everyday he noticed her becoming more determined; more ready to stick to her beliefs and she smiled more. Even when he knew she was furious at House, she smiled. It was eerie, really.
He could see the entrance to cafeteria from his vantage point and watched as the person of his musings made her way to the end of the line, hands tucked neatly in the pockets of her lab coat. He watched her take a tray and he casually glanced around to see if Chase or Foreman were with her. She was alone today.
He watched her gather and pay for her food. She looked across the crowded room, seeking a place to sit when her eyes locked with his. He noticed her hesitation when he indicated the empty seat next to his. She approached and slid in with a quiet, “Thank you.”
He was about to say something to break the silence when she spoke up, “I appreciate what you were trying to do the other day,” She chewed thoughtfully on her salad, while he waited for her to finish her thought, “but honestly, I’m ok. I realized that I do something that I love; something that I worked so hard to achieve and I’m ready to start enjoying it.”
He leaned forward. “I’m so glad that you’re starting to think about what you want. You said once that you were invested in this job, in this career, and it was personal. It would always be personal to you. When did it become about House and his needs?”
She laughed; eyes sparkling with amusement. “When is it not about House, ever? I should try it someday. We can have an all about Allison day.”
He smiled back at her, enjoying her company and the lighthearted turn the conversation had taken. Maybe she was fine. She hadn’t mentioned the test or the medication she had to take so he wasn’t going to bring it up.
“Wilson, this is fine.” She reached over and tapped his hand lightly. “This is what I need right now. Someone I can talk to about anything without worrying about what their ulterior motive is.”
He knew she would be fine long term but at what cost? He decided to not pursue the conversation any longer and turned to his sandwich. They ate in a companionable silence until the sound of her pager went off. She reached down and shut it off with a deep sigh. “I’m being summoned. Thank you for the company.”
He reached over to touch her wrist, lightly. “Anytime, Cameron. I just wanted you to know you have my friendship if you need it.”
She smiled broadly, “It means a lot, especially right now. Thanks.”
He watched her leave and wondered if House really understood her. He doubted it.
House
collision
House wondered why he liked the dark so much. Maybe it was the ambiance, more than likely it because it made it harder for everyone else to see. He sat in her embrace, comforted by the sleek shadows she cast across the room. The muted sounds of the hospital starting its nightly close down process could be heard in the distance; trolleys being wheeled for dinner service and the soft ping of the elevator as the daily inhabitants made their way to the exits. The silence grew stronger as he sat alone in his office debating the last of the scotch in the bottom drawer. Without fanfare the drawer was opened; the bottle extracted and the balance of the drink poured into his coffee cup. He wasn't looking to hide from any pain tonight; he was just looking for something. Anything, really.
He disliked that he became this obsessive persona, chasing after something that was over, when he was around Stacy. He knew he crossed the line with her personnel file but he couldn't help himself. Maybe he really was the definition of an addict. God knows how many times Wilson said he was. He hated that he got so caught up in her and wondered why this all started? Honestly, what's really going to happen? She's married and is he really after winning her heart away from Mark or just winning.
Cameron entered the side room and he could hear her moving around, shuffling papers.
A part of him hoped that she would leave for the night without acknowledging him, leave him to his silent misery. But he knew she couldn't do that; politeness was too ingrained in her to be able to leave for the night with out tidings of some sort. He leaned back and waited for the inevitable.
Cameron's unpredictability of late has been surprising to him. He would never let her know but he has been impressed by her demonstration of strength in the past weeks. Even her verbal barbs, though they have struck home, have been quick and on target. As much as he thinks he knows her, there is so much that remains a mystery and he wished he had the energy to look deeper. But lately he has devoted most of his time on the problem of Stacy.
And he doesn’t know what to do about her. Them. Her.
She pokes her head through the doorway that divides his office and the conference room. She has her coat on and car keys in her hand. He doesn’t look at her and he can hear the soft sigh escape from her lips. “Do you need anything else?”
He has nothing to say, nothing to add. So he stays silent.
She shakes her head slightly, “Good night then.” She turns to leave but his words stop her.
“That was good.”
She turns back, clearly puzzled. “What was good?”
“Your comment the other day. The one about Stacy and me. It was good.”
“About that, I-' he cut her off with a wave of his cane through the air between them.
“Let’s not and say we did.”
He could see the frustration etched on her face and could see her hand clenching the keys tighter. He stared at her, not saying anything else. She stared back until he finally broke his gaze and settled it somewhere behind her. She turned and left.
This is what they are now. And he still doesn’t know what to do about her.
original post
Allison Cameron, James Wilson, Gregory House PG, 2181 words,
"Did you really believe that I would be the one to break?"
Cameron
course change
She sits in House’s office with her elbows on her knees; chin in her hands. House was nowhere to be found, per usual, which was fine with her. He was probably hiding in the maternity ward in order to avoid clinic duty. That would explain why she saw Cuddy earlier; head darting back and forth in a vain attempt to find him. Hopefully, he wouldn’t surface until she had gone home for the night. She just needed a break from him and his verbal volleys. The last few weeks have been exhausting for her, both mentally and physically. Emotions have begun to swamp her and it was beginning to take its toll on her. Anger, shame, and pain take up the most room in the litany of why her heart feels so heavy. Today was no better than yesterday and she knows tomorrow will be more of the same.
When had she become this woman? Changing from aggressive personality to this; a woman who feels the need to watch from doorways. Some days she felt secure and confident in herself, the next brought low by Chase’s suggestion that she had sabotaged herself. Cameron grimaced when she thought of Chase. No need to readdress that mistake; House had made sure everyone knew about that.
She heard someone enter the office and stand near her. The silence continued as she made no effort to address this intruder.
"He's not quite over her yet."
An intruder who states the obvious.
She chortled, "I think I figured that one out. And all by myself."
Wilson crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, shaking his head sympathetically. "He can't, you know."
Cameron's amusement faded and the silence grew heavy between them. She leaned back in her chair and turned her head to face him. "Maybe I am a fool. Because I know I’ll stand right here and if I wait long enough he'll say to me, I'm ready." She shook her head. "Is that insane? Too willingly wait for someone who is just not able or might never be?"
Wilson held her stare. "I don't know if it's insane, maybe it’s just not enough. I think you’re capable Cameron, capable of a great amount of sensitivity and good. And I don’t want to watch you become a pawn in this game he’s playing.”
“Do you remember when you told me to watch out for him, watch out for his heart?” she countered. “Did you really believe that I would be the one to break it?”
“I don’t know; what do you want to hear? Do you want to hear that yes, maybe I did. I thought you could do that very easily. C’mon Cameron, everyone could see the attraction there. It was blatant. But sometimes it’s about timing and right now, you lose.” Wilson ran a hand through his hair and started to pace slowly behind her.
She turned back to stare outside at the snow drifting around, swirling around creating a white vortex. “So now we’re back to where we started…with timing and with her. These days it always seems to come back to her.” The last was said on a whisper, voice trailing off.
Wilson stopped his pacing which landed him in front of her chair. He bent his knees and placed his hands on either side of her arms. She was forced to look at him straight on. “You know, I have been friends with him for what feels like a lifetime and I don’t always agree with his tactics but most of the time he has to work through these things his own way.”
“Despite whom he might hurt in the process.” Not a question, a statement.
"Isn't this cozy? Be careful Wilson, Julie might find out." Both Cameron and Wilson jumped slightly. They had been so engrossed in their conversation they had not heard House enter the room.
She closed her eyes, willing House to go away and allow her a moment of reprieve. She shot back without opening them, “Be careful House, Stacy might find out what an ass you are. Oops, wait she did and left, that’s right.”
Wilson stood up and took a step back, wincing at her tone. She pushed herself out of the chair she had been occupying and started to gather her coat and bag; brushing past Wilson in the process. She turned with it on and left without another word.
"What was that all about?"
"Nothing that could possibly interest you." Wilson shrugged.
"You know I could always find out. Have to keep on top of these kids, you know."
Wilson cocked his head at House, "Find out anyway it takes. Isn't that your MO?"
House stared back, not saying a word.
Wilson threw up his hands and turned on his heel. "Be careful. You might get what you wished for."
Wilson
diversions
Wilson wonders at her tenacity. Despite what she's been through these past few months and the ups and downs of this job in general, she continues to tolerate House and the demands of being a member of his team. He was surprised by her revelation to him last month about her late husband and her feelings for his best friend. In a way, he always pictured Allison as weak with noble tendencies. This new bit of knowledge from her; challenged his perceptions and gained him a deeper insight to her true strength of character.
Last year, when she started to show interest in House and he could perceive
House's concealed interest in her; he worried for the both of them. He had a feeling that someone was going to get hurt and it was just easier to warn her. But in the end, deep down, he knew that House was going to be the one to ruin things. He knew that their date did not go as expected for either one of them and he was slightly disappointed. But he had a suspicion that their story wasn’t over yet.
Then Stacy had returned.
He always liked Stacy. She was always so cool and efficient and he understood the attraction that House had for her. She always stood toe to toe with him and very rarely, if ever, backed down. True, the man Stacy had loved all those years ago is not the same man today but there is a certain spark between the two that lies dormant just waiting for something to ignite it. And he had a feeling they wouldn’t be waiting much longer.
But how much longer would Cameron wait for House? Watching the two of them was entertaining at best and everyday he noticed her becoming more determined; more ready to stick to her beliefs and she smiled more. Even when he knew she was furious at House, she smiled. It was eerie, really.
He could see the entrance to cafeteria from his vantage point and watched as the person of his musings made her way to the end of the line, hands tucked neatly in the pockets of her lab coat. He watched her take a tray and he casually glanced around to see if Chase or Foreman were with her. She was alone today.
He watched her gather and pay for her food. She looked across the crowded room, seeking a place to sit when her eyes locked with his. He noticed her hesitation when he indicated the empty seat next to his. She approached and slid in with a quiet, “Thank you.”
He was about to say something to break the silence when she spoke up, “I appreciate what you were trying to do the other day,” She chewed thoughtfully on her salad, while he waited for her to finish her thought, “but honestly, I’m ok. I realized that I do something that I love; something that I worked so hard to achieve and I’m ready to start enjoying it.”
He leaned forward. “I’m so glad that you’re starting to think about what you want. You said once that you were invested in this job, in this career, and it was personal. It would always be personal to you. When did it become about House and his needs?”
She laughed; eyes sparkling with amusement. “When is it not about House, ever? I should try it someday. We can have an all about Allison day.”
He smiled back at her, enjoying her company and the lighthearted turn the conversation had taken. Maybe she was fine. She hadn’t mentioned the test or the medication she had to take so he wasn’t going to bring it up.
“Wilson, this is fine.” She reached over and tapped his hand lightly. “This is what I need right now. Someone I can talk to about anything without worrying about what their ulterior motive is.”
He knew she would be fine long term but at what cost? He decided to not pursue the conversation any longer and turned to his sandwich. They ate in a companionable silence until the sound of her pager went off. She reached down and shut it off with a deep sigh. “I’m being summoned. Thank you for the company.”
He reached over to touch her wrist, lightly. “Anytime, Cameron. I just wanted you to know you have my friendship if you need it.”
She smiled broadly, “It means a lot, especially right now. Thanks.”
He watched her leave and wondered if House really understood her. He doubted it.
House
collision
House wondered why he liked the dark so much. Maybe it was the ambiance, more than likely it because it made it harder for everyone else to see. He sat in her embrace, comforted by the sleek shadows she cast across the room. The muted sounds of the hospital starting its nightly close down process could be heard in the distance; trolleys being wheeled for dinner service and the soft ping of the elevator as the daily inhabitants made their way to the exits. The silence grew stronger as he sat alone in his office debating the last of the scotch in the bottom drawer. Without fanfare the drawer was opened; the bottle extracted and the balance of the drink poured into his coffee cup. He wasn't looking to hide from any pain tonight; he was just looking for something. Anything, really.
He disliked that he became this obsessive persona, chasing after something that was over, when he was around Stacy. He knew he crossed the line with her personnel file but he couldn't help himself. Maybe he really was the definition of an addict. God knows how many times Wilson said he was. He hated that he got so caught up in her and wondered why this all started? Honestly, what's really going to happen? She's married and is he really after winning her heart away from Mark or just winning.
Cameron entered the side room and he could hear her moving around, shuffling papers.
A part of him hoped that she would leave for the night without acknowledging him, leave him to his silent misery. But he knew she couldn't do that; politeness was too ingrained in her to be able to leave for the night with out tidings of some sort. He leaned back and waited for the inevitable.
Cameron's unpredictability of late has been surprising to him. He would never let her know but he has been impressed by her demonstration of strength in the past weeks. Even her verbal barbs, though they have struck home, have been quick and on target. As much as he thinks he knows her, there is so much that remains a mystery and he wished he had the energy to look deeper. But lately he has devoted most of his time on the problem of Stacy.
And he doesn’t know what to do about her. Them. Her.
She pokes her head through the doorway that divides his office and the conference room. She has her coat on and car keys in her hand. He doesn’t look at her and he can hear the soft sigh escape from her lips. “Do you need anything else?”
He has nothing to say, nothing to add. So he stays silent.
She shakes her head slightly, “Good night then.” She turns to leave but his words stop her.
“That was good.”
She turns back, clearly puzzled. “What was good?”
“Your comment the other day. The one about Stacy and me. It was good.”
“About that, I-' he cut her off with a wave of his cane through the air between them.
“Let’s not and say we did.”
He could see the frustration etched on her face and could see her hand clenching the keys tighter. He stared at her, not saying anything else. She stared back until he finally broke his gaze and settled it somewhere behind her. She turned and left.
This is what they are now. And he still doesn’t know what to do about her.
original post