[CSI] this show is over, say good-bye (bow out remix)
this show is over, say good-bye (bow out remix)
Sara/Grissom, PG, 716 words, "remix of bow out
He’s watching her and she can see the echo of sadness reflected in his eyes.
She's surprised it took her this long to gather her strength together and make the decision to walk away. In the end, all it took was an embarrassing pull over and a pass on a promotion that she should have had. The irony of the whole thing is that Nick didn’t even want the job. Oh, there have been times in the past when she should have walked away (she’s not going to spend the rest of her life playing what if) but every single time she convinced herself that he was going to change, that he really did need her (want her). So, she stamped down her resentment and played out on hope.
And keeps paying the price.
In the end, she wonders if this is all just a game, where the rules change and she’s left wondering what move to make next. What are the boundaries, what is the prize, how long should she play? She’s spent too many years moving around him like a chess piece around a board; forward, backward, side to side. He wants (she’s convinced), she yearns but every move counts and they are both stuck at a stalemate. The only way to break through is to move away and change the cycle.
She’s gathering her strength to do that.
The pain exits there between them silent and unyielding; waiting for the next chance to unleash its power and inflict damage. Avoidance is the only way to keep it at bay and they have gotten very good at it. He with his empty gaze and silent vigils, she avoids with her false smiles and toneless laughter. Conversations have gotten terse, candid moments left in the dust a lifetime ago and all that’s left between them are faded memories of what could have been.
She stands in the doorway to his office, preparing herself for the inevitable. She’s sure that he won’t even put up a fight, that’s how much he doesn’t care. She’s not bracing herself for his angry words; she’s reading herself for the inevitable hurt of his inability to say much of anything.
Hey, Grissom, do you have a minute? She’s not surprised when he looks up over his glasses at her and nods; his eyes holding curiosity and hesitation. She rushes through her words, afraid that she will lose her courage if she holds back. There’s this opportunity on the East Coast that I could not pass up, I felt it was time for me to make a change in both my career and my personal life.
She breathes, waiting for his reaction. She knows that if she doesn’t leave now, she never will and they’ll continue to do this dance; play this game, for as long as she lets him. He still doesn’t say anything and she registers his silence and accepts it.
Getting up to leave, she looks at him again, soaking in his image to hold her in the years to come. He’s watching her and she can see the echo of sadness reflected in his eyes.
Yes, it was time to go.
I didn’t realize you were unhappy here or that you had been looking.
She makes a face, her lips curling with the effort not to show her bitterness. I was more than qualified for the promotion but I guessed I proved you right by my mistake in drinking. He frowns slightly but she continues, I wasn’t looking, Grissom. It came to me and honestly, it feels right.
She knew that this was going to hurt and just wants to leave without breaking down in front of him. At the doorway, she turns to look at him again; wondering if he will even say good-bye.
Sara, I hope that you’ll be happy.
It was enough for her to understand that, today, she made the right decision.
+I've always been in love with you
I guess you've always known it's true
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye
original post
Sara/Grissom, PG, 716 words, "remix of bow out
He’s watching her and she can see the echo of sadness reflected in his eyes.
She's surprised it took her this long to gather her strength together and make the decision to walk away. In the end, all it took was an embarrassing pull over and a pass on a promotion that she should have had. The irony of the whole thing is that Nick didn’t even want the job. Oh, there have been times in the past when she should have walked away (she’s not going to spend the rest of her life playing what if) but every single time she convinced herself that he was going to change, that he really did need her (want her). So, she stamped down her resentment and played out on hope.
And keeps paying the price.
In the end, she wonders if this is all just a game, where the rules change and she’s left wondering what move to make next. What are the boundaries, what is the prize, how long should she play? She’s spent too many years moving around him like a chess piece around a board; forward, backward, side to side. He wants (she’s convinced), she yearns but every move counts and they are both stuck at a stalemate. The only way to break through is to move away and change the cycle.
She’s gathering her strength to do that.
The pain exits there between them silent and unyielding; waiting for the next chance to unleash its power and inflict damage. Avoidance is the only way to keep it at bay and they have gotten very good at it. He with his empty gaze and silent vigils, she avoids with her false smiles and toneless laughter. Conversations have gotten terse, candid moments left in the dust a lifetime ago and all that’s left between them are faded memories of what could have been.
She stands in the doorway to his office, preparing herself for the inevitable. She’s sure that he won’t even put up a fight, that’s how much he doesn’t care. She’s not bracing herself for his angry words; she’s reading herself for the inevitable hurt of his inability to say much of anything.
Hey, Grissom, do you have a minute? She’s not surprised when he looks up over his glasses at her and nods; his eyes holding curiosity and hesitation. She rushes through her words, afraid that she will lose her courage if she holds back. There’s this opportunity on the East Coast that I could not pass up, I felt it was time for me to make a change in both my career and my personal life.
She breathes, waiting for his reaction. She knows that if she doesn’t leave now, she never will and they’ll continue to do this dance; play this game, for as long as she lets him. He still doesn’t say anything and she registers his silence and accepts it.
Getting up to leave, she looks at him again, soaking in his image to hold her in the years to come. He’s watching her and she can see the echo of sadness reflected in his eyes.
Yes, it was time to go.
I didn’t realize you were unhappy here or that you had been looking.
She makes a face, her lips curling with the effort not to show her bitterness. I was more than qualified for the promotion but I guessed I proved you right by my mistake in drinking. He frowns slightly but she continues, I wasn’t looking, Grissom. It came to me and honestly, it feels right.
She knew that this was going to hurt and just wants to leave without breaking down in front of him. At the doorway, she turns to look at him again; wondering if he will even say good-bye.
Sara, I hope that you’ll be happy.
It was enough for her to understand that, today, she made the right decision.
+I've always been in love with you
I guess you've always known it's true
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye
original post