[DOCTOR WHO] just a love to endure
just a love to endure
Rose, Mickey (Rose/Ten), 826 words, PG,
She doesn't tell him how much it destroys her, how helpless it makes her feel. She doesn't think she has to. Everybody knows.
She stares down into her drink, watching the liquid swirl. The color reminds her of a setting sun; its color creeping away from the land only to have the darkness of the night blanket around it. Unshed tears linger behind her eyes, seeking the release she won't permit. She is so disappointed with another failed attempt at moving realities; disgusted with the lack of progress and so emotionally drained. She just wants to forget for one night and start the cycle of finding him all over again. She's not sure how many more setbacks she can take, each one a blow that takes longer and longer to recover from.
She brings the glass to her lips wanting to savor the slide of the liquor as it makes its way down her throat. A hand reaches out and grabs the glass before she can take a sip. Caught off guard, she turns to retrieve her glass and looks up into Mickey's eyes.
“That's mine,” she murmurs, still trying to reach out for it.
“What’s this, your first or third?” deep brown eyes laugh down at her. He quicly drinks the rest of the liquid and places the empty glass in front of her. “Seat taken?”
“You can stay if you’d like, I'm just leaving. 'night.” She reaches for her wallet and tosses a couple of bills on the bar. Rose pulls at her coat and she tries to brush past him only to have Mickey reach over and grab her arm.
“I'm really sorry, Rose, I know how important this is to you. This doesn't change anything, so stay. Please?”
She wants to, really needs to explain to him why she's so angry and why they have to keep trying. She wants him to really understand how lost she feels without the Doctor. “I have to go, Mickey. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
He only stares at her and with that she loses her will power; suddenly she realizes she has no where else to be. She could go home but the lonliness of her flat echoes with every breath. “One drink, I’ll stay for one drink.”
Mickey half smiles; liftes his arm to gain the barkeep's attention and points to Rose’s empty glass; indicating two refills. He turns to face Rose who is staring straight ahead into the glass behind the bottles of liquor on the wall. “It doesn’t change anything.”
“You said that already. It does. It doesn’t. Maybe I need the change, Mickey. Maybe I’m the one who’s tired of watching these experiments fail.” The barkeep drops off their drinks and she eagerly reaches for her glass. “I stand there, waiting for good news, for it to work and get disappointed over and over.” She doesn't tell him how much it destroys her, how helpless it makes her feel. She doesn't think she has to.
Everybody knows.
“Have you thought that maybe it wasn't meant to be, that this is what we're about now? Look at how much good you're doing here, in this world. Do you ever ask yourself if he's worth leaving everyone and everything behind.” Mickey mimicks her movements with his own drink. “No, don't answer that, any of that. There's only the Doctor and that's everything.” He can't leave the trace of bitterness out of his voice.
Rose doesn't answer him, decids to just let that one go. She reachs out a hand to Mickey’s arm and stares into her glass as she speaks, “I’m sorry. I know I've said it a million times but I wants to say it again, to just you. Sorry about bringing you into this, for needing you so much and for treating you the way that I did.”
She quickly withdraws her hand but Mickey is too fast and his hand snakes out to grab hers. He doesn’t say anything, just continues to hold her hand as she looks back at him. He leans back and she uses that opportunity to gain her hand back from his grasp. She rapidly finishes her drink and repeats the motions she had started earlier as she tried to leave last.
He finishes his drink and turns to look at her, “I know, Rose. I'm just a bit angry that this is not enough. That your friends and family are not enough."
He sighs and turns to her, "I know, Rose. I know. Tomorrow, we'll try again. We'll get there.
“I wonder if the price is too high. I wonder if its worth all this pain. Then I remember how I felt, what my life was like and I know it's worth it. I’ll see you in the morning.” With that, she turns to leave.
“It doesn’t change anything, Rose.” Mickey calls out after her.
She keeps moving, losing herself for another day.
original post
Rose, Mickey (Rose/Ten), 826 words, PG,
She doesn't tell him how much it destroys her, how helpless it makes her feel. She doesn't think she has to. Everybody knows.
She stares down into her drink, watching the liquid swirl. The color reminds her of a setting sun; its color creeping away from the land only to have the darkness of the night blanket around it. Unshed tears linger behind her eyes, seeking the release she won't permit. She is so disappointed with another failed attempt at moving realities; disgusted with the lack of progress and so emotionally drained. She just wants to forget for one night and start the cycle of finding him all over again. She's not sure how many more setbacks she can take, each one a blow that takes longer and longer to recover from.
She brings the glass to her lips wanting to savor the slide of the liquor as it makes its way down her throat. A hand reaches out and grabs the glass before she can take a sip. Caught off guard, she turns to retrieve her glass and looks up into Mickey's eyes.
“That's mine,” she murmurs, still trying to reach out for it.
“What’s this, your first or third?” deep brown eyes laugh down at her. He quicly drinks the rest of the liquid and places the empty glass in front of her. “Seat taken?”
“You can stay if you’d like, I'm just leaving. 'night.” She reaches for her wallet and tosses a couple of bills on the bar. Rose pulls at her coat and she tries to brush past him only to have Mickey reach over and grab her arm.
“I'm really sorry, Rose, I know how important this is to you. This doesn't change anything, so stay. Please?”
She wants to, really needs to explain to him why she's so angry and why they have to keep trying. She wants him to really understand how lost she feels without the Doctor. “I have to go, Mickey. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
He only stares at her and with that she loses her will power; suddenly she realizes she has no where else to be. She could go home but the lonliness of her flat echoes with every breath. “One drink, I’ll stay for one drink.”
Mickey half smiles; liftes his arm to gain the barkeep's attention and points to Rose’s empty glass; indicating two refills. He turns to face Rose who is staring straight ahead into the glass behind the bottles of liquor on the wall. “It doesn’t change anything.”
“You said that already. It does. It doesn’t. Maybe I need the change, Mickey. Maybe I’m the one who’s tired of watching these experiments fail.” The barkeep drops off their drinks and she eagerly reaches for her glass. “I stand there, waiting for good news, for it to work and get disappointed over and over.” She doesn't tell him how much it destroys her, how helpless it makes her feel. She doesn't think she has to.
Everybody knows.
“Have you thought that maybe it wasn't meant to be, that this is what we're about now? Look at how much good you're doing here, in this world. Do you ever ask yourself if he's worth leaving everyone and everything behind.” Mickey mimicks her movements with his own drink. “No, don't answer that, any of that. There's only the Doctor and that's everything.” He can't leave the trace of bitterness out of his voice.
Rose doesn't answer him, decids to just let that one go. She reachs out a hand to Mickey’s arm and stares into her glass as she speaks, “I’m sorry. I know I've said it a million times but I wants to say it again, to just you. Sorry about bringing you into this, for needing you so much and for treating you the way that I did.”
She quickly withdraws her hand but Mickey is too fast and his hand snakes out to grab hers. He doesn’t say anything, just continues to hold her hand as she looks back at him. He leans back and she uses that opportunity to gain her hand back from his grasp. She rapidly finishes her drink and repeats the motions she had started earlier as she tried to leave last.
He finishes his drink and turns to look at her, “I know, Rose. I'm just a bit angry that this is not enough. That your friends and family are not enough."
He sighs and turns to her, "I know, Rose. I know. Tomorrow, we'll try again. We'll get there.
“I wonder if the price is too high. I wonder if its worth all this pain. Then I remember how I felt, what my life was like and I know it's worth it. I’ll see you in the morning.” With that, she turns to leave.
“It doesn’t change anything, Rose.” Mickey calls out after her.
She keeps moving, losing herself for another day.
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