It's so wierd...

[notliving]

i had such a fun time tonight talking with people and meeting some new people but still there is something(someone) missing. I talked about music and girls with some boys from work and i never knew how much we had in common. The thing is everyone goes home to someone or has someone. Even if it isnt someone they will be with forever or is there bf/gf it is something. That is all i want.
Mel has her husband, Josh has his secret fucking partner Lauren, Tammy has her boy toy Andy, Siobhan has Jimmy(even though she is a dyke i am almost positive), Joe has Megan, and then there is ME and nothing. Sometimes I feel I have something but nope there is nothing. Hope is the biggest piece of shit in the world. Hope gets you know where. Hope gets you hurt. I dont know why I dont get it. It couldnt possibly be anymore obvious. It is so scary that someone that says they care for you tries to sabotage something so important to you to get what they want and that is all this is. I know what is going on right at this moment and maybe before when I had strength I would fight it but I cant. Take it, use it and when you are done send it back. I will still be here but the hurt will never be forgotten and will NEVER go away.

Will you, walk me
To the edge again
Shaking, lonely, and I am drinking again
Woke up tonight and no one's here with me
I'm giving in to you

Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you

Caught up, in life
Losing all my friends
Family has tried, to heal all my addictions
Tragic it seems, to be alone again
I'm giving in to you

Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you

(Oh fuck)

I look forward, to dying tonight
Drinks 'till I'm myself, life's harder every day
The stress has got me
I'm giving in
Giving
Giving in, NO!

Take me under
(I'm killing all the pain)
I'm dying tonight
(i'm sick of all this pain)
Watch me crumble
(I'm killing all the pain)
I'm crying tonight

I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you