It's a fight between my heart and mind, no one really wins this time.

[notlikelly]

Three days off is sort-of surreal. An endless abyss of nothing. I'm doing domestic things and it is making me crazy. My mom wants me to keep baking, but I've got really nothing else to do. The Giant's game is on at four. And I've got to go grocery shopping and I want to go to the gym before then. EEK

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[mrisaka]

I agree that three days off is surreal. It's pretty awesome, but also pretty weird. By the third day, I start to feel lost, like I'm floating on a life preserver in the chilly ocean, watching a the happy yellow lights of a giant cruise ship fade off into the night, not even shouting because I know they can't hear me. Or something like that. That's pretty dramatic.

You don't have to be like that with your parents forever. It's hard while you live with them, sure. But you don't have to visit them on the weekends and such. That's not your responsibility. I've told you this before, and I'm sure I'll tell you it again. I think it will be easier once you move away. Probably something better discussed in person, but there you have it.

What you said about mental illness, it's always been a horrible fear of mine. I have known people who were fine when they were teenagers, completely fine and normal, and then during college they developed schizophrenia and now they live in a home and babble and wear stained clothes and don't shave and have gained 100 pounds and look awful and crazy. Nobody knows why it happened, or how. It's completely terrifying to me.