Life
So my brother should be coming into town tonight. He is visiting from Texas. I am patiently awaiting his arrival.
Things have been really weird for me as of late. Many support systems have fallen apart in the past six months and it has been hard to find solid ground to stand on. Luckily for me, my parents let me move back with them. Although it sounds lame, it's not that bad.
I still think about Jen, although we've been broken up for half of a year. I am supposed to talk with her tomorrow. I miss her and I don't know if breaking up with her was the best thing to do. I have always had a problem with communication, and I really don't feel like I can talk to her about some things. Important things. I was with her for two years. It's really hard to be without her. I got by these past few months with the help of some very close friends who now have moved away. It really feels like I lost everything. After I broke up with Jen, I quit my job, lost my apartment, and my band broke up. The band was the only thing I had longer than Jen. But I've been rebuilding my life. I have a new job earning more money and I plan on returning to APSU in August. I'm working on getting a band back together, too. Now I just have to deal with the fact that I am 22 and living with my parents, which isn't so bad I suppose. It helps me save money. I've learned some lessons about integrity, momentum, friendship, love, and humility so I guess everything was for the better. I'm sick of destroying myself just to feel alive. It's time I learned how to truly live and grow. To stand up to challenges and face my fear of failure and inadequacy. I owe my life to God and I am realizing again that without Him I am helpless. He makes me feel connected like no one else can. Now I just have to work on keeping my ego in check. I never thought I had an oversized ego until just recently. I'm not sure what happened. Perhaps it was retaliation against my studies in Buddhism. I am now returning to them as well as prayer. It has helped me break free from circular thinking. I hope I can maintain this positive attitude.
JOe
Things have been really weird for me as of late. Many support systems have fallen apart in the past six months and it has been hard to find solid ground to stand on. Luckily for me, my parents let me move back with them. Although it sounds lame, it's not that bad.
I still think about Jen, although we've been broken up for half of a year. I am supposed to talk with her tomorrow. I miss her and I don't know if breaking up with her was the best thing to do. I have always had a problem with communication, and I really don't feel like I can talk to her about some things. Important things. I was with her for two years. It's really hard to be without her. I got by these past few months with the help of some very close friends who now have moved away. It really feels like I lost everything. After I broke up with Jen, I quit my job, lost my apartment, and my band broke up. The band was the only thing I had longer than Jen. But I've been rebuilding my life. I have a new job earning more money and I plan on returning to APSU in August. I'm working on getting a band back together, too. Now I just have to deal with the fact that I am 22 and living with my parents, which isn't so bad I suppose. It helps me save money. I've learned some lessons about integrity, momentum, friendship, love, and humility so I guess everything was for the better. I'm sick of destroying myself just to feel alive. It's time I learned how to truly live and grow. To stand up to challenges and face my fear of failure and inadequacy. I owe my life to God and I am realizing again that without Him I am helpless. He makes me feel connected like no one else can. Now I just have to work on keeping my ego in check. I never thought I had an oversized ego until just recently. I'm not sure what happened. Perhaps it was retaliation against my studies in Buddhism. I am now returning to them as well as prayer. It has helped me break free from circular thinking. I hope I can maintain this positive attitude.
JOe