Technology: 2 Lizzie: 1
Livejournal! Once again it's been time since I last put fingers to keyboard (still peering in at people's lives via the flist though), but I have been spurred to post by the revelation that I'm a computer genius. Some people might find this claim slightly dubious as computers and I have a somewhat turbulent history ( Exhibit A, Exhibit B) however allow me to present you with the facts:
Case 1
A few months ago in the office of the prison Visitors' Centre, Irritating Acting Manager is making another scene.
Irritating Acting Manager: *bashing at laptop keyboard with random fingers* The shift key on my CRAPtop has stopped working. Look! *more bashing* This is so annoying! I have a report to write!
Our Glamourous Heroine: Er, do you eat your lunch at your laptop?
IAM: Yeeees...
OGH: Maybe a crumb has got under the shift key. Blow underneath it and see if that helps.
IAM: *blows* Oh my god! A piece of Creme Egg! *bashes keyboard again* It works! You're a computer genius!
Case 2
A few weeks ago my mother got a Trojan on her computer.
("Well, this notice popped up and told me that my version of windows was out of date and I needed to pay $80 to get the latest version so I put in my credit card details...")
She'd taken it to PC World to be sorted out, but still wasn't happy and needed me to help her.
Mummy Dearest: It's just all wrong since I took it to PC World. Nothing is how I like it!
OGH: You do realise that I have next to no computer knowledge and I'll be of very little help?
MD: But you know more than me!
OGH: Ok, what's the problem?
MD: Well the main thing is that when I went on the Internet it used to know to go straight to my Yahoo Mail, and now it doesn't. It goes to google and I have to google Yahoo and then go from there.
OGH: Right, so you want Yahoo as your home page. *sets Yahoo as home page*
MD: Oh, well done! You're a computer genius!
Case 3
The activist social work group I'm involved with want to improve their web presence. At a meeting it's suggested that a blog is set up. A social worker faff is about to get into full swing. "How would we do that?" "My friend says it costs money, we haven't got any money!" "Is it like a website?" "What's a blog?" "It'll take a very long time, I suggest we all do it over a weekend, with wine." "How would we all get into it?"
My voice, slightly embarrassedly, cuts through the hubbub, "Actually, it's not that difficult and you can set a fairly decent one up on Wordpress for free." I'd obviously just volunteered myself. "Thank you for offering, we'll be glad to rely on your expertise," says the chair. My expertise. Whilst fiddling with the initial structure of the blog I realise that as this is the group's only web presence, that makes me their webmaster. I, I think to myself, am a computer genius.
So, geeky friends of mine, look upon the evidence and despair. I, who didn't know you could use the arrow keys to scroll up and down until 2005, am regarded by some as a computer genius. There are many people out there who are worse than me.
Case 1
A few months ago in the office of the prison Visitors' Centre, Irritating Acting Manager is making another scene.
Irritating Acting Manager: *bashing at laptop keyboard with random fingers* The shift key on my CRAPtop has stopped working. Look! *more bashing* This is so annoying! I have a report to write!
Our Glamourous Heroine: Er, do you eat your lunch at your laptop?
IAM: Yeeees...
OGH: Maybe a crumb has got under the shift key. Blow underneath it and see if that helps.
IAM: *blows* Oh my god! A piece of Creme Egg! *bashes keyboard again* It works! You're a computer genius!
Case 2
A few weeks ago my mother got a Trojan on her computer.
("Well, this notice popped up and told me that my version of windows was out of date and I needed to pay $80 to get the latest version so I put in my credit card details...")
She'd taken it to PC World to be sorted out, but still wasn't happy and needed me to help her.
Mummy Dearest: It's just all wrong since I took it to PC World. Nothing is how I like it!
OGH: You do realise that I have next to no computer knowledge and I'll be of very little help?
MD: But you know more than me!
OGH: Ok, what's the problem?
MD: Well the main thing is that when I went on the Internet it used to know to go straight to my Yahoo Mail, and now it doesn't. It goes to google and I have to google Yahoo and then go from there.
OGH: Right, so you want Yahoo as your home page. *sets Yahoo as home page*
MD: Oh, well done! You're a computer genius!
Case 3
The activist social work group I'm involved with want to improve their web presence. At a meeting it's suggested that a blog is set up. A social worker faff is about to get into full swing. "How would we do that?" "My friend says it costs money, we haven't got any money!" "Is it like a website?" "What's a blog?" "It'll take a very long time, I suggest we all do it over a weekend, with wine." "How would we all get into it?"
My voice, slightly embarrassedly, cuts through the hubbub, "Actually, it's not that difficult and you can set a fairly decent one up on Wordpress for free." I'd obviously just volunteered myself. "Thank you for offering, we'll be glad to rely on your expertise," says the chair. My expertise. Whilst fiddling with the initial structure of the blog I realise that as this is the group's only web presence, that makes me their webmaster. I, I think to myself, am a computer genius.
So, geeky friends of mine, look upon the evidence and despair. I, who didn't know you could use the arrow keys to scroll up and down until 2005, am regarded by some as a computer genius. There are many people out there who are worse than me.