Lets Talk About Girls
Title: Lets Talk About Girls
Author: nothorse
Rating: PG
Word Count: 624
Character: Xander (Lizandra), Spike
Spoilers: Season 4.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money.
More of "When Xander Harris was a girl..."
The initial discussion wasn't that long.
"Why should I take him?" said Xander.
"You're the one with the flat." said Buffy, implying with a look, that she was also the one without significant other.
"And why is he not dust?" asked Xander while she already knew she would give in.
"I defend, Xander. I fight. I'm not an executioner. I don't kill things that can't fight back."
And that was it, really.
--*--
The move in itself went pretty well. Spike behaved and after a short discussion on the merit of chains and handcuffs they had both settled in Xander's living room and were watching TV.
Until Spike had to step in it. He turned to Xander and with a slight smirk he asked, "So, I hear you're a tribade, Harris?"
"A what now?"
"A lesbian, Harris."
"Oh." Xander counted silently to ten. "A, none of your damn business, Sid. And B, yes."
"And how do you know that?"
"Didn't I just say it's none of your damn business?"
"Hey, is a valid question, it is. You've been a bloke, now you're a bird. How do you know that hasn't been changed too?"
"Because I know. Simple as that."
"No need to be so touchy. Just wanted to make conversation."
"Conversation, huh? Ok. Let me tell you, I may not have that external signal lever anymore, but being turned on? I can really pretty reliably tell. Men? Nothing. Women? Hell, yeah."
"Never been curious to see what it feels like? Having someone in you?"
"There's a lot of fruits of the silicone tree available for that."
"That's not real, not alive, pet."
"Don't call me pet. And it's not as if anybody can just walk up to the next best guy and say, 'Hey, I'm just recently female and would yo be available for a test drive?'" Xander frowned for a second. "Well, Anya probably could."
"Well, I'd be willing."
"Yeah, and for something real and alive I would go to the friendly neighbourhood corpse, would I?"
Spike just smirked and raised an eyebrow.
"Think you're so sexy?" Xander crossed her arms and leaned back into the couch.
"Yeah." Spike did that funny sort of smile that was almost like puckering up for a kiss, and what exactly was wrong with Xander that she was classifying Spike smiles?
They both fell silent and turned back to the tv, to watch the new geek crime show with the bug guy in Las Vegas.
Xander lost the plot pretty soon, having weightier things on her mind. She contemplated her roommate.
"Okay." Xander said.
"Okay, what?"
"Okay with the test drive. And oh god, I'm channelling Anya here and actually, yeah, I am curious. Three conditions though: My bed, well made manacles and me on top. Oh yeah, and you never breathe a word of this to anyone, or your next roommates will be the bunnies in my dust-buster."
Spike sat poleaxed for a moment, then his smirk returned and he nodded.
--*--
Xander rolled of the chained vampire. She was still breathing heavily and pulled herself up to sit cross-legged on the towel she had prepared beforehand.
"Mind unchaining me, pet?"
"Don't call me pet." Xander patted herself off and reached for the keys on the night-stand.
"So what's the verdict?" Spike hesitated for a second, "Xander. Still rather have a girl?"
Xander had meanwhile pulled on her panties and a T-Shirt. She sat down on the bed again.
"On the one hand, it wasn't too bad," she said. "I'll definitely want a girlfriend who's okay with a strap-on." She smiled. "On the other hand, bodies with muscles and hair where boobies should be? Still do absolutely nothing for me. Sorry. Let's get something to drink and watch more TV."
Author: nothorse
Rating: PG
Word Count: 624
Character: Xander (Lizandra), Spike
Spoilers: Season 4.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money.
More of "When Xander Harris was a girl..."
The initial discussion wasn't that long.
"Why should I take him?" said Xander.
"You're the one with the flat." said Buffy, implying with a look, that she was also the one without significant other.
"And why is he not dust?" asked Xander while she already knew she would give in.
"I defend, Xander. I fight. I'm not an executioner. I don't kill things that can't fight back."
And that was it, really.
--*--
The move in itself went pretty well. Spike behaved and after a short discussion on the merit of chains and handcuffs they had both settled in Xander's living room and were watching TV.
Until Spike had to step in it. He turned to Xander and with a slight smirk he asked, "So, I hear you're a tribade, Harris?"
"A what now?"
"A lesbian, Harris."
"Oh." Xander counted silently to ten. "A, none of your damn business, Sid. And B, yes."
"And how do you know that?"
"Didn't I just say it's none of your damn business?"
"Hey, is a valid question, it is. You've been a bloke, now you're a bird. How do you know that hasn't been changed too?"
"Because I know. Simple as that."
"No need to be so touchy. Just wanted to make conversation."
"Conversation, huh? Ok. Let me tell you, I may not have that external signal lever anymore, but being turned on? I can really pretty reliably tell. Men? Nothing. Women? Hell, yeah."
"Never been curious to see what it feels like? Having someone in you?"
"There's a lot of fruits of the silicone tree available for that."
"That's not real, not alive, pet."
"Don't call me pet. And it's not as if anybody can just walk up to the next best guy and say, 'Hey, I'm just recently female and would yo be available for a test drive?'" Xander frowned for a second. "Well, Anya probably could."
"Well, I'd be willing."
"Yeah, and for something real and alive I would go to the friendly neighbourhood corpse, would I?"
Spike just smirked and raised an eyebrow.
"Think you're so sexy?" Xander crossed her arms and leaned back into the couch.
"Yeah." Spike did that funny sort of smile that was almost like puckering up for a kiss, and what exactly was wrong with Xander that she was classifying Spike smiles?
They both fell silent and turned back to the tv, to watch the new geek crime show with the bug guy in Las Vegas.
Xander lost the plot pretty soon, having weightier things on her mind. She contemplated her roommate.
"Okay." Xander said.
"Okay, what?"
"Okay with the test drive. And oh god, I'm channelling Anya here and actually, yeah, I am curious. Three conditions though: My bed, well made manacles and me on top. Oh yeah, and you never breathe a word of this to anyone, or your next roommates will be the bunnies in my dust-buster."
Spike sat poleaxed for a moment, then his smirk returned and he nodded.
--*--
Xander rolled of the chained vampire. She was still breathing heavily and pulled herself up to sit cross-legged on the towel she had prepared beforehand.
"Mind unchaining me, pet?"
"Don't call me pet." Xander patted herself off and reached for the keys on the night-stand.
"So what's the verdict?" Spike hesitated for a second, "Xander. Still rather have a girl?"
Xander had meanwhile pulled on her panties and a T-Shirt. She sat down on the bed again.
"On the one hand, it wasn't too bad," she said. "I'll definitely want a girlfriend who's okay with a strap-on." She smiled. "On the other hand, bodies with muscles and hair where boobies should be? Still do absolutely nothing for me. Sorry. Let's get something to drink and watch more TV."