Xра́брость (Courage) Pt 2/(?)
Title: Xра́брость (Courage)
Rating: PG-13
Status: Pt 2/(?)
Author Notes: I'm sorry if this seems a bit rushed, and even Kurt in the story says that he must be hanging out with Finn too much to be doing the whole "meaning well" stuff. However, this chapter is basically filler leading up to the big reveal of what's really behind the perfectly coifed illusion that Blaine has been putting up.
Kurt had sensed something was up when he saw Blaine's face in his hands. He crept into the room and held his breath, swearing he heard Blaine, his strong, confidant Blaine, sniffling. Kurt had counted on Blaine during the hardest part of his career at McKinley High, when Dave Karofsky, that…neanderthal, had not only sexually assaulted him, but then threatened to kill him. He managed to keep that second part from Blaine, he felt it was for the best, but now here was Blaine crying…or at least, he thought he was. He always did jump to conclusions about how people reacted, maybe this was just a misunderstanding.
Kurt swallowed his pride and walked over to where Blaine sat, and asked, "Blaine…are you crying?"
---
Blaine's breath hitched, hearing Kurt's voice. Oh no, oh no, shit shit shit. He quickly wiped his eyes and sniffled. Damn, caught in the act. "Oh, hey Kurt, didn't see you there." Blaine tried to laugh it off, but he could see the confusion in Kurt's face.
"Answer me. Are you crying?"
God, Kurt just couldn't leave something alone, could he? Blaine shook the thought out of his head. "No, something was in my eye, and I couldn't get it out, and it was making me bug out a little. Why, did it sound like I was crying?" God, if you exist, please let Kurt buy this.
Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine, not sure whether to believe him, but to avoid a fight before their "important" date, he ceded to Blaine and simply said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Do you need a Claritin or something? You might have been allergic to something." Blaine Anderson, what are you keeping from me…
Blaine smiled. Thank you, for once. "Nah, I think I'm ok. Come on, we're gonna be late!" Good job, Anderson. Deflect the situation!
Kurt tilted his head. "Late for what?" Kurt's heart fell a little bit. Here he thought tonight was important because…well…Kurt thought things were going to get a bit more serious. They had been dating, true, and snuck some small kisses here and there, but nothing more serious than that, and he had hoped that tonight, Blaine would ask to make things more serious, or as Finn had always said, 'Facebook Official.' Way to go, Kurt. First gay guy to show any interest, and you still find some way to make him not want to be anything more with you.
Blaine could see something going on behind Kurt's eyes, those beautiful blue-green-gray eyes, the eyes that had struck him the first minute he saw Kurt at Dalton, and…where was he going with this? Oh yeah. "I got us dinner reservations at Maggiano's Little Italy."
Kurt grew pale. "Blaine. That's a 2 and a half hour drive."
"Only if you do the speed limit on the highway."
"Blaine Everett Anderson, I swear, if you even think of going anywhere above 65 on that highway…"
Blaine smirked and winked at Kurt. "Well, quit bitching and we'll get there on time!"
---
The ride hadn't been as awkward as Blaine had been anticipating. He had managed to temporarily get Mika's voice, his face, his death, out of his mind for a few hours, and was reveling in the life of Kurt. His therapist had said it was good that he was starting to get a connection with Kurt, but Blaine was still cautious. He knew how he could get, how scared he got, and how he lashed out. He was so afraid of hurting Kurt with his own drama, that if he just kept quiet altogether, didn't break at all, and maintained taking his medication, he may just be stable enough again to be in a relationship without seeing Mika's face. Maybe.
Once they had gotten into Maggiano's, Kurt felt slightly underdressed. Keyword, slightly. He still carried himself with a grace that showed that life was his runway, but seeing how fancy this restaurant was made him rather intimidated. Keyword, rather.
Blaine asked for a root beer, while Kurt got a strawberry iced tea. All of a sudden, Kurt heard a slight rattle, almost like a maraca. He saw Blaine open a small orange bottle and take out a white pill, hastily closing the bottle and shoving it back into his coat pocket. Before Blaine could take his pill, however, Kurt blurted out, "What're you taking?"
Blaine sputtered a little, and muttered only "Medication. Don't worry about it, I'm not dying, just something my doctor prescribed me." He quickly put the pill on his tongue, took a sip of root beer, and shot his head back, swallowing hard.
Kurt sighed, and took a bite of his garlic bread. Tonight would be a long night.
---
By the time they had reached dessert, Kurt was determined to figure out what Blaine was taking. He knew it was none of his business, but Blaine was acting rather weird tonight, and Kurt was going to find out why. Damn, I need to stop hanging out with Finn, I'm turning into him. Blaine escaped himself to go to the bathroom, and this is when Kurt took his chance. He saw Blaine's jacket hanging on the coatrack next to their booth, and reached into the pockets, rummaging around until he could find the distinctive rattle of medication. He pulled the bottle out and looked at the label. Citalopram Hbr 80mg Tab. Take 1 tablet by mouth daily. Whatever this was, Blaine was taking it every day, and was twitchy about mentioning it to Kurt. Kurt would have to take it upon himself to mention it, much against his better judgement. If Blaine wasn't going to even trust him with letting him know what the fuck Citalopram is, then there were other things that he may be keeping from Kurt, and damnit, he would not be played around with. Not this time around.
---
On the ride back, Kurt was unusually quiet. Blaine was nervous, but never expected the conversation to happen the way it did.
"So, Kurt, how did you like Maggiano's? Was it worth the ride?"
"We drove two and a half hours away to a fancy restaurant and ate in silence, for most of the night, Blaine. I thought tonight was important."
"…Kurt, are you upset at me about something?"
"Yes. What the fuck is Citalopram?"
Blaine almost crashed the car, he was so shocked. His entire life was flashing before his eyes, because he swore this was going to be the end for him.
"You went through my jacket, Kurt? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"What the fuck is wrong with me? You tell me we're having an important date tonight, you're fucking crying in the common room, you're taking medication in a fancy restaurant and you drove the fuck out of the way for ravioli? Really, Blaine? If you wanted ravioli that bad, you could have just opened up a can of Chef Boyardee. The truth is, you were going to tell me something, and you flaked, and are not going to make a fool of me, Blaine Anderson. You told me to be courageous and never give up who I am, so I'm asking you, Blaine. What are you keeping from me?"
Blaine looked over at Kurt, and saw some teardrop stains on his McQueen sweater. That's when he knew shit was serious.
"You really want to know, Kurt? Do you really want to open this can of worms this soon into-"
"Into what, Blaine? Into our relationship? Is that what we have? You tell me, because I don't know anything that's going on anymore, since you won't even tell me why you take medication or were fucking crying today."
Blaine bit his lip in frustration and started to run his fingers through his hair, messing up the clean, stable, gelled look he had managed to hide behind for 3 years. "Kurt, we're going to Columbus. We're not going back to Westerville, not for a bit."
"Why, what the fuck is in Columbus?"
"Mika."
"Who the fuck is Mika?"
"You're about to find out."
Rating: PG-13
Status: Pt 2/(?)
Author Notes: I'm sorry if this seems a bit rushed, and even Kurt in the story says that he must be hanging out with Finn too much to be doing the whole "meaning well" stuff. However, this chapter is basically filler leading up to the big reveal of what's really behind the perfectly coifed illusion that Blaine has been putting up.
Kurt had sensed something was up when he saw Blaine's face in his hands. He crept into the room and held his breath, swearing he heard Blaine, his strong, confidant Blaine, sniffling. Kurt had counted on Blaine during the hardest part of his career at McKinley High, when Dave Karofsky, that…neanderthal, had not only sexually assaulted him, but then threatened to kill him. He managed to keep that second part from Blaine, he felt it was for the best, but now here was Blaine crying…or at least, he thought he was. He always did jump to conclusions about how people reacted, maybe this was just a misunderstanding.
Kurt swallowed his pride and walked over to where Blaine sat, and asked, "Blaine…are you crying?"
---
Blaine's breath hitched, hearing Kurt's voice. Oh no, oh no, shit shit shit. He quickly wiped his eyes and sniffled. Damn, caught in the act. "Oh, hey Kurt, didn't see you there." Blaine tried to laugh it off, but he could see the confusion in Kurt's face.
"Answer me. Are you crying?"
God, Kurt just couldn't leave something alone, could he? Blaine shook the thought out of his head. "No, something was in my eye, and I couldn't get it out, and it was making me bug out a little. Why, did it sound like I was crying?" God, if you exist, please let Kurt buy this.
Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine, not sure whether to believe him, but to avoid a fight before their "important" date, he ceded to Blaine and simply said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Do you need a Claritin or something? You might have been allergic to something." Blaine Anderson, what are you keeping from me…
Blaine smiled. Thank you, for once. "Nah, I think I'm ok. Come on, we're gonna be late!" Good job, Anderson. Deflect the situation!
Kurt tilted his head. "Late for what?" Kurt's heart fell a little bit. Here he thought tonight was important because…well…Kurt thought things were going to get a bit more serious. They had been dating, true, and snuck some small kisses here and there, but nothing more serious than that, and he had hoped that tonight, Blaine would ask to make things more serious, or as Finn had always said, 'Facebook Official.' Way to go, Kurt. First gay guy to show any interest, and you still find some way to make him not want to be anything more with you.
Blaine could see something going on behind Kurt's eyes, those beautiful blue-green-gray eyes, the eyes that had struck him the first minute he saw Kurt at Dalton, and…where was he going with this? Oh yeah. "I got us dinner reservations at Maggiano's Little Italy."
Kurt grew pale. "Blaine. That's a 2 and a half hour drive."
"Only if you do the speed limit on the highway."
"Blaine Everett Anderson, I swear, if you even think of going anywhere above 65 on that highway…"
Blaine smirked and winked at Kurt. "Well, quit bitching and we'll get there on time!"
---
The ride hadn't been as awkward as Blaine had been anticipating. He had managed to temporarily get Mika's voice, his face, his death, out of his mind for a few hours, and was reveling in the life of Kurt. His therapist had said it was good that he was starting to get a connection with Kurt, but Blaine was still cautious. He knew how he could get, how scared he got, and how he lashed out. He was so afraid of hurting Kurt with his own drama, that if he just kept quiet altogether, didn't break at all, and maintained taking his medication, he may just be stable enough again to be in a relationship without seeing Mika's face. Maybe.
Once they had gotten into Maggiano's, Kurt felt slightly underdressed. Keyword, slightly. He still carried himself with a grace that showed that life was his runway, but seeing how fancy this restaurant was made him rather intimidated. Keyword, rather.
Blaine asked for a root beer, while Kurt got a strawberry iced tea. All of a sudden, Kurt heard a slight rattle, almost like a maraca. He saw Blaine open a small orange bottle and take out a white pill, hastily closing the bottle and shoving it back into his coat pocket. Before Blaine could take his pill, however, Kurt blurted out, "What're you taking?"
Blaine sputtered a little, and muttered only "Medication. Don't worry about it, I'm not dying, just something my doctor prescribed me." He quickly put the pill on his tongue, took a sip of root beer, and shot his head back, swallowing hard.
Kurt sighed, and took a bite of his garlic bread. Tonight would be a long night.
---
By the time they had reached dessert, Kurt was determined to figure out what Blaine was taking. He knew it was none of his business, but Blaine was acting rather weird tonight, and Kurt was going to find out why. Damn, I need to stop hanging out with Finn, I'm turning into him. Blaine escaped himself to go to the bathroom, and this is when Kurt took his chance. He saw Blaine's jacket hanging on the coatrack next to their booth, and reached into the pockets, rummaging around until he could find the distinctive rattle of medication. He pulled the bottle out and looked at the label. Citalopram Hbr 80mg Tab. Take 1 tablet by mouth daily. Whatever this was, Blaine was taking it every day, and was twitchy about mentioning it to Kurt. Kurt would have to take it upon himself to mention it, much against his better judgement. If Blaine wasn't going to even trust him with letting him know what the fuck Citalopram is, then there were other things that he may be keeping from Kurt, and damnit, he would not be played around with. Not this time around.
---
On the ride back, Kurt was unusually quiet. Blaine was nervous, but never expected the conversation to happen the way it did.
"So, Kurt, how did you like Maggiano's? Was it worth the ride?"
"We drove two and a half hours away to a fancy restaurant and ate in silence, for most of the night, Blaine. I thought tonight was important."
"…Kurt, are you upset at me about something?"
"Yes. What the fuck is Citalopram?"
Blaine almost crashed the car, he was so shocked. His entire life was flashing before his eyes, because he swore this was going to be the end for him.
"You went through my jacket, Kurt? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"What the fuck is wrong with me? You tell me we're having an important date tonight, you're fucking crying in the common room, you're taking medication in a fancy restaurant and you drove the fuck out of the way for ravioli? Really, Blaine? If you wanted ravioli that bad, you could have just opened up a can of Chef Boyardee. The truth is, you were going to tell me something, and you flaked, and are not going to make a fool of me, Blaine Anderson. You told me to be courageous and never give up who I am, so I'm asking you, Blaine. What are you keeping from me?"
Blaine looked over at Kurt, and saw some teardrop stains on his McQueen sweater. That's when he knew shit was serious.
"You really want to know, Kurt? Do you really want to open this can of worms this soon into-"
"Into what, Blaine? Into our relationship? Is that what we have? You tell me, because I don't know anything that's going on anymore, since you won't even tell me why you take medication or were fucking crying today."
Blaine bit his lip in frustration and started to run his fingers through his hair, messing up the clean, stable, gelled look he had managed to hide behind for 3 years. "Kurt, we're going to Columbus. We're not going back to Westerville, not for a bit."
"Why, what the fuck is in Columbus?"
"Mika."
"Who the fuck is Mika?"
"You're about to find out."