Breakfast musings
It's amazing the things I figure out when I end up giving people advice, namely that my friends are just as crazed as I am if I'm the one they ask for counsel.
After having talked with Angie for over an hour on the phone yesterday, I realized that there's one thing I need to do- I need to end the lie. Most of my life, I've pretended to be something I'm not just to make myself more acceptable to others. Truthfully it does me no good. It may well be the utmost contributing factor to my depression. Granted I'm able to keep myself together very well, but that's not really the point.
Not to sound overly Freudian, but I think when even your own mother is one of those people who undermines how you feel about yourself and flips back and forth between comfort and antagonism, its no wonder some people would get confused. Dad didn't help much either. But trying to formulate the reason isn't what I need to do. What I need to do is figure out how to shut up those doubting voices who make me give up.
I think maybe tomorrow I'll go to Rocky's and see what his MMA classes are all about. What the hell? I like martial arts, I don't mind taking or causing damage. Why not do something I'm good at?
After having talked with Angie for over an hour on the phone yesterday, I realized that there's one thing I need to do- I need to end the lie. Most of my life, I've pretended to be something I'm not just to make myself more acceptable to others. Truthfully it does me no good. It may well be the utmost contributing factor to my depression. Granted I'm able to keep myself together very well, but that's not really the point.
Not to sound overly Freudian, but I think when even your own mother is one of those people who undermines how you feel about yourself and flips back and forth between comfort and antagonism, its no wonder some people would get confused. Dad didn't help much either. But trying to formulate the reason isn't what I need to do. What I need to do is figure out how to shut up those doubting voices who make me give up.
I think maybe tomorrow I'll go to Rocky's and see what his MMA classes are all about. What the hell? I like martial arts, I don't mind taking or causing damage. Why not do something I'm good at?