today happens every day

[nothinglorious]

today
what a strange day

im in the worst state of mind
of the very worst kind
i can barely tell whats going on
im so fucking gone

but it doesnt matter
i have just shattered
my own image of perfect morality

against all odds
i resisted
finally given to by the gods
but instead i insisted

i still cant believe
what a horrible relief
i almost wish i took part in the sin
letting the rest of my life begin

a hero now
a hero then
thats not me
i wont pretend

the bodies were so appealing
offering egotistical healing

she sat there
and i sat here
you were nowhere near

i couldnt look at her
worried about thoughts incurred

when she laughed, i heard yours
when she smiled, i saw yours
when our skin touched, i felt yours
no
she is not you
but would still make due

so many beautiful people
the only thing they miss is the label
of being you
having what you have
being what you are

a different today
not that strange of a day
im just very tired

all i can do is reflect
and try to inject
thoughts of hope
now i am the one who mopes

i keep making progress
but never towards success
i dont take two steps
i take one step twice

in circles my mind rotates
true emotions just spectate
my judgement is nonsense
all that remains is pretense