Somewhere along the way I quit talking to myself through my writing. I stopped working things out. I just let everything whirl and wind around me, stinging twisted string tied up my words until their inevitable disintegration

What is being alone?

Is it to not have a spouce, a girlfriend, a lover?
Is it to not have friends?
Is it to be physically alone?
Is it to feel alone when you aren't?
Is it to make time for yourself above anyone?
Is it to do whatever you want?

How do you love yourself?

Must you be alone to love yourself?

The hurricane washed away
our reality.
The truth came out
when the clouds cleared.
The wreckage apparent,
Things have certainly changed.
They might be more beautiful,
despite the destruction

I thought I was an island
I thought he was a ship
Sent for salvation
But he crashed his ship ashore,
Victim to the sirens
Weak and hungry for control

Now I am a captain
( Read more... )

I'm alone. Alone like I've never been. I've broken a spirit and now a heart and I'm left surrounded in the shimmering particulate dust of the ruination. Its not beautiful though, its sharp, it makes it hard to breathe.  Nothing feels real. Nothing feels safe. My dreams overshadow my reality. I see waves crash on the coast of my mind, my soul knows ( Read more... )

I am not sure i have ever felt more unliked.

If
time
drained
downwards,
spilling
spiraling
falling
flushing
Forever

forget
your
future

I never pictured this

I never pictured the long, lonely evenings
Singing to myself

A screaming butterfly
Lost in the oblivion of past memories

one day short of fifteen years
Lessons scortched into my tears
Less i've learned
And what is left?
Nothing more
And nothing less

You don't matter. They don't matter. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

We are just vibrating particles falling through space.
The loop circles around and around and around.
Time isn't linear, its an infinite corkscrew.
A thrill ride for eternity.

How do you come to terms with the fact that you don't matter? You just are matter. Not even solid ( Read more... )

Not quite 400 days ago,
That time alone we were never promised
A rush of blood & a plague of toads
Making up for the future we thought we'd lost

Today you promised something different
& I hope she'll never know
how you breathed into my ear that day
"I could be made for you"