(no subject)
Who: Severus Snape, Remus Lupin
Where: Remus' Flat
When: July 10th
Status: Complete
Severus stared at the owl that had delivered Remus' letter like he was expecting the bird to finally squawk and transform into a human being. When it hadn't after an hour, he finally threw the letter into the fireplace so it wouldn't be found and buttoned his robe around his shoulders.
"I trust you know how to make it back," he told the owl and lifted the window so she could leave. With a cry, she took off to the air and Severus moved over to the fireplace. Like he had promised Lupin, he sent a letter through first, though it bore only two words. Coming through. He stepped back from the floo for Remus to send something back if he was entertaining before he grabbed a handful of floo powder and called out Remus' address.
Alright, so Remus didn't expect to have a return response so quickly. Usually their owls were sent as pieces of information, nothing that needed replying. Remus was still... slightly disconcerted that Severus had helped them, rather than hindered their progress when saving Minerva. Truly, Remus had expected a trap. To not find one was more than a pleasant surprise.
Not to mention... their own victory. Remus still was relieved over that. He had managed to lead the Order to one victory. That... in and of itself... was a huge triumph.
He had slipped away from Headquarters for the afternoon, needing a bit of time away, as well as to reassert to his landlord that he was indeed still occupying the flat. That and Remus wanted to pick up a few things as well.
Remus looked at the paper in his hand, re-reading the coming through notice. There was no one he was entertaining and luckily he was at his own flat rather then Headquarters. Remus stepped away from the fireplace, crumpling the note up and slipping it into his pocket. First things firs -- put on a pot of tea.
A few seconds later, Severus was stepping out of green flames and into Remus' flat. When he didn't see Remus immediately, he glanced around. "Lupin?" His letter wasn't there, which could only mean that it was already picked up.
Remus was bustling about in the kitchen and didn't hear Severus step through the Floo until the man called out for him. He wiped his hands on his trousers, flicking his wand at the stove and setting it to heat the kettle. "In the kitchen," Remus called out. He raised himself up on his tiptoes, carefully pulling down a couple of mugs. "I assumed you'd want tea, yes?"
Severus was only momentarily taken aback by the thoughtfulness implied in the gesture. "Tea would not be remiss," he said slowly as he swept into the kitchen, almost as if he was waiting for something to jump out and attack him. "Is Minerva well?"
Nodding, Remus handed the two cups to Severus, silently asking him to take them into the other room. Remus followed a moment later, pouring the boiling water into a pot to take out. Simple black tea was in the pot, Remus carrying it and a sugar bowl out with him. "Minerva is fine," Remus replied once he was in the living room once more. "I don't know what we would have done had it not been for your note. You saw, we arrived just in the nick of time." He paused. "How... are you...?" he said, querying the unaskable question of what happened afterwards.
Before Severus answered, he poured the tea into his cup and added nothing to it, preferring it black. "The Dark Lord was not pleased, if that's what you were asking," he finally said, quietly. Indeed, he seemed to be moving a bit slower, his movements a bit more defined as if he was still sore, a weakness that he would not show in front of Death Eaters. "Bellatrix has vowed to find you and bring you in," Severus added. Better that they know what they were facing. "And if she suspects me for not letting her go in first, I don't know of it."
Remus nodded, pulling the sugar bowl closer to himself, spooning three heaping teaspoons into his tea. "It's what I was asking," Remus replied with a curt nod. Remus watched him for a moment, half wondering how much his show of bravado had cost him. It was something Remus would never ask, nor did he really have the right to ask it either. "Bellatrix is out for me now?" Remus asked, setting his spoon aside. "I suppose it was only a matter of time. Do they know I'm the one now leading our rag-tag bunch?" A sip. "You held her back? Is that why Rabastan was there first? I couldn't imagine her not being there at the front. It was unlike her."
"Bellatrix is out for all of you now. The fact that you got McGonagall out from under the Dark Lord and his lackey's is a sore point for them both." Severus lifted his cup to take a sip and paused. "You're leading the Order now?" Merlin save them all. "And yes, I did. She would have come in launching Crucio or worse. You at least stood a chance against Rabastan."
Well that was something he hadn't meant to spill. Remus winced, running a hand through his hair. "Yes, I'm leading them now," Remus replied softly. "I had thought you may have heard already. But yes, you're looking at our fearless leader in the flesh." Remus drew in a breath, staring at his tea much rather than drinking it. "Well, I thank you for that at least. I always wondered how Rabastan has lasted as long as he has."
"Who do you have making your wolfsbane then?" Severus demanded and finally took a sip of his tea. So Remus was heading the Order now. At least he was capable, even if he did turn into a slavering beast every full moon.
Remus stared into his tea and did not look or speak for several long moments. "I... have not taken it in quite some time," Remus confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've kept myself away from others, but... no Wolfsbane."
Severus stared at him for a moment before he finally managed to speak, his voice a low, deadly snarl. "You mean to tell me that you are trying to run the Order and you aren't taking it at all?"
"Well, let's see... can't exactly go running into Diagon Alley to get Wolfsbane now can I?" Remus asked, lifting a brow. "I daresay it would set me off as being exactly who I am and wind me up dead. So no, I'm not taking it. You know I've always been pants at Potions."
"There's another option," Snape murmured and turned back to his tea. It's as much as an offer as he would ever make.
Remus blinked and just stared at Severus for the longest of moments. "You... that is..." Remus drew in a breath. "Would you?"
"I can hardly let you go around killing the entire Order if someone stumbles on you during the full moon," Severus snapped and set his cup down. Not that he would admit that he liked the challenge of brewing Wolfsbane.
"Well it's not as if I actually stay here," Remus replied tersely. "What do you take me for a fool? I go elsewhere where I know no one will find me. However, having Wolfsbane again would simplify things tremendously."
"You aren't taking your Wolfsbane, what do you expect me to take you for?" Severus quipped back.
"I can't bloody afford it," Remus growled in response. "And I can't make it. So I did what I used to do before you made it for me when I taught at Hogwarts. Did without it."
"Yes, well, you'll owe me," Severus snarled and stood up, pacing around the room to stop at the back of his chair. "You cannot go around like this if you are going to be leading the Order. It's out of the question."
Wonderful, something else he'd owe Severus for. This was just bloody brilliant in his estimation. "Well, I have no choice," Remus replied, setting his tea aside. "And the prospect of 'owing' you anything doesn't exactly sit too well with me either for that matter." He sighed, anger fading from his features. "But what choice do I really have?"
"You can either owe me or run the risk of eating someone, which would you prefer?" Severus asked succinctly. Let it never be said that he would fight fair -- he didn't. He refused to. No one would win that way and he did not like the idea of losing.
Remus flushed slightly, sputtering as he stared at Severus. "To be perfectly honest, I'd prefer neither," Remus replied, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. But as soon as it had come, the anger faded from his features, Remus sighing and shaking his head. He had no choice in the matter when it really came down to it. "But... would rather..." Another very, very deep breath. "I'd rather be indebted to you." As much as it pained him to say it, it was the truth.
Severus stared at him for a moment before he uttered, "Don't strain yourself, Lupin." Better the devil you know than the one you don't. Gradually, Severus moved out from behind the chair and eased back into the seat again. "I'm sure that many others would feel better and safer if you were taking it."
Remus watched Severus with his eyes, retrieving his cup of nearly cooled tea. He summoned the pot, reheating his own cup and adding a bit more sugar for good measure. Once more he couldn't quite meet Severus' eyes. For he had been lying about certain things to everyone. Perhaps not openly lying but being deceitful through admission. "The others, have never known," Remus replied softly. "I never said I wasn't taking it, but vaguely implied that I was." Not the perfect Gryffindor, am I?
With the admission came Severus staring again, mouth slack at Remus. "They don't know?" He knew certain people had to know, had to, or was Remus hiding it from them as well? "Did that just manage to slip over their collective brains? Nevermind, don't answer that." Considering some of the students he'd known, he was entirely sure that it probably had. "Regardless, it should be ready by the next full moon." All one would have to do is put you into the headquarters for the Order and let you kill them all for them.
Remus snuck a brief glance at Severus, not sure what to make of the open-mouthed reaction. If the circumstances were different, perhaps he may have taken pleasure in rendering Severus speechless, even if only for a moment. "No, I never told anyone," Remus repeated. "I'm not here during the moons and everyone is more than well aware of what I am thanks to you. They knew not to come see me on the moon, obviously. So I could hide myself elsewhere and no one was the wiser. I know the precautions to take. I lived most of my life without the presence of Wolfsbane, remember."
"Well at least you can't lie about that," Severus said shortly. Even years later, he didn't feel bad about outing Remus' lycanthropy. "And no, I wouldn't remember. I have enough things to keep track of instead of the years that you've been under the influence of Wolfsbane."
"We lie about what we have to lie about," Remus replied, staring at Severus over the rim of his cup. He still had yet to truly forgive Severus from forcing him out of the one job he had truly loved. Though he may have loved the bookstore, it wasn't the same as teaching in the slightest. "Well, in any case --" Remus sighed, sipping his tea. "I do... appreciate the offer, no matter if I must owe you or not."
"Speak for yourself. Some of us lie because we must and sometimes just because we like the look of shock on other people's faces," Severus said calmly and reached for his tea, though he made a face when he realized it was cold. "You could start by pouring me some more tea," he said and pushed his cup towards Remus. Not that it was going to come near the cost of brewing Wolfsbane, but Severus was willing to bide his time until he had something he truly wanted from Remus.
Remus could very easily see Severus as the sort to lie for the sheer shock value of it. True, wasn't he lying and spying on the Death Eaters and hadn't Remus' own reaction to that been suitably shocked? Standing, Remus moved wordlessly with the pot, re-filling Severus' cup. "I flat out refuse to become your servant though," Remus spoke, returning to his seat. "Owe you yes, but not to the point of carrying out your every wish. I can survive without the potion should it come to that."
Severus stared at him for a moment, head tilted to the side before smirking. "If I had wanted a house elf, I would have gotten myself one of the little pests." Not that he would ever say it, but at least Remus was far more attractive than one, though Severus doubted he would be as fun to kick.
That smirk... was almost welcome, strangely enough. Remus glanced away, running a hand hastily through his hair. "Well, I don't fancy being your own personal house elf in any case," Remus said once more. Just in case Severus was having those sorts of designs on him. "You're getting thank yous, which I should hope is more than enough at the present. That, and tea."
That smirk wasn't going anywhere, especially as Severus' voice dipped lower and he taunted Remus. "You don't fancy serving my every whim and desire? What a tragedy."
Remus' stomach was not supposed to flip over like that, nor was he supposed to find himself flushing. Remus stood under the pretense of going to the kitchen to get more tea. He needed the moment, needed to get himself away from Severus if only for a few moments. And he was not supposed to be thinking about taking Severus up on that offer either.
Where the thought had come from, Remus had no idea. All he knew was that there had been a flash of arousal that had uncoiled in his belly from the way Severus' voice dropped and seemed to caress his skin. Buggering bleeding hell.
Remus returned to the sitting room once more, blush gone and carrying a fresh pot of tea. "I thought we could use a refresher and not something charmed hot again."
It was meant to outrage Remus, but as he watched the man flush and leave, Severus stared at his back. Years of finding and manipulating weak points had made him sensitive to them and if he didn't know better, he'd say that Remus liked that idea.
Didn't he know better?
Dark eyes narrowed as Severus considered the possibilities, his mind still working as Remus came back with a fresh pot of tea. "No... Why use a charm when you can do it the natural way?" Severus murmured.
The thing Remus hated most about his impromptu fleeing... was that he had given Severus the upper hand. Remus was no fool. He knew that Severus would be looking for the easiest target to attack later down the line. Besides, why should he have such a reaction to Severus anyway? He was on edge was all, that was it. "Tastes better when done the natural way," Remus said, pouring another cup for Severus. "I'm not sure what I have by way of food to offer you. Haven't been able to stock up here, unfortunately."
Severus considered for a moment before his lips curled into a smirk. "From the source, as it were. Some things do taste quite a bit better that way, untouched by anything else but your lips before it slides down your throat."
It was quite a bit bolder than what he would normally say, but sometimes with Gryffindors, one had to spell it out.
He should have known from the smirk that he wasn't going to like what Severus was about to say. However, he was not expecting that. Thankfully, he hadn't taken a sip of tea, or he was afraid he would have covered himself (and possibly Severus) in tea. As it was, his jaw hit the floor, staring open mouthed at Severus.
"I... you..." he sputtered, trying to work out what had exactly happened. "Are you coming onto me?" he blurted out before he could stop himself.
What Severus truly expected was not what came out of Remus' mouth. Disgust, hatred, anything along those lines but not confusion. His eyes narrowed.
"You're about to let flies in," he finally sneered.
No matter what happened, Remus was determined not to blush. Nor react in any other way. In the end, he wasn't quite as successful as he would have liked. Remus dutifully closed his mouth, becoming more interested in the rim of his teacup.
"Don't say things like that or you're likely to get that reaction."
Severus refused to stare as Remus' cheeks coloured. Will not, will not, will not. "I can think of several other reactions that you would have given or even that I would have given to an undesired overture."
The fact that it wasn't an undesired come-on scared Remus more than he ever would have thought. He schooled his face (though the effect made him look more constipated than anything), hoping to not give anything away. "And just what would those reactions be?" Remus asked, genuinely curious.
This time, Severus did stare at the face Remus was making. "Are you getting enough fiber in your diet?" He finally demanded.
"And Crucio springs to mind."
"My... bowel movements are not up for discussion," Remus replied, standing and seeking the tea pot and the sugar. Definitely the sugar.
"You've already done that once," Remus said dryly. "If that's what you're intending once more, you know where the door is."
"If that is your schooled blank face, it needs work," Severus commented dryly and leaned back into his chair, teacup held in the palm of his hand.
"And for the record, I have no interest in your bowel movements. I truly do have better things to do with my time."
Remus was not amused. He stirred the sugar into his tea a bit rougher than needed, tea sploshing over the rim of the cup. He returned to his seat, wiping his hands on his trousers. "It's whatever face I need it to be and I don't need you chiding me about it either." he drew in a breath. "So long as you're not hexing me, I don't care what 'better' things you have to do with your time."
For all of Remus' violence with his tea, Severus raised his eyebrow and demurely took a sip of his own. "As I am sure I'm one of the few to be on the receiving end of that look, I thought I should inform you that it makes you look as if you need more fiber. If you think that's satisfactory... well." Severus shrugged.
"I have yet to find the need for such a look until now," Remus replied. "I'm not concerned what you truly think of it." It wasn't as if he were about to ask Severus to give him 'lessons' in how to school his face to appear blank. While it may have been useful, he sure as hell wasn't about to ask.
"Sore spot, Lupin?" Severus smirked and set his cup down on the arm of the chair. While he may not ask, such a thing never stopped Severus from ever giving his opinion. "Think of nothing, don't look as if you are attempting to think of nothing."
Was this Severus giving him... advice? Remus scratched the back of his head, determined not to stare at Severus shell-shocked. He was having a hard time figuring out the other man. One moment he was talking about cursing, the next offering him advice and to brew the Wolfsbane. He didn't get it to be perfectly honest. Remus closed his eyes momentarily, letting his mind go blank -- or as blank as it could. He still was unable to completely remove Severus from his mind. A moment later, Remus let the thoughts come flooding back. "Better?" he asked with a slight smile.
"You no longer look like you swallowed a snitch, if that's what you're asking," Severus replied primly. It was a decent attempt, but he rarely gave compliments. "And you'll have to learn to do it with your eyes open. Anyone can do that if they are not looking."
Getting 'advice' from Severus was just slightly disconcerting. Remus pursed his lips, going back to drinking his tea slowly. Once more it had gone cold, but he couldn't bring himself to rise and get fresh. "Yes, well, I like working with my eyes closed," Remus said, quickly realising even that could be taken the wrong way. Bugger.
Severus' eyebrow quirked upwards at the look on Remus' face. "That explains why you weren't capable of making potions... and why you like using your wand so much. It's not hard to use with your eyes shut," Severus quipped, knowing exactly how it would sound. Baiting Gryffindors was far too easy.
Remus no longer knew what to make of Severus. He nearly asked Severus if he was flirting, but didn't have the guts (or the nerve) to ask. He licked his lips unconsciously, shifting in his seat. "I was pants at potions because I could never understand them nor did I ever really care to." He drew in a breath, playing along and deciding he'd see where that got him. "With your eyes shut... you have to rely more on feel."
"That was... frighteningly obvious given your first attempts at it," Severus remarked dryly. No balking this time... Severus smirked a bit and settled deeper into the chair. "It's rather like being blindfolded... Having to rely on each of your other senses to tell you what's going on... Sound. Touch....Taste."
Shifting in his chair, Remus swallowed the abnormally large lump that had formed in his throat. Remus transferred the weight from one side of his body to the other, suddenly aware of how warm it was in the room. "I never claimed to be a Potions master, nor is it something I ever aspired to become." Remus swallowed again, the lump still large. You sound like you're caressing a lover speaking that way. "Like being blindfolded you say?" Remus asked, his voice cracking slightly.
"Mmm. You've never been blindfolded?" Severus asked, falsely innocent. He had of course, but he wasn't going to admit that anymore than he had already, or explain what led up to it. "Pity. Taking away someone's sight changes everything. Makes them nearly hypersensitive to the slightest stimulus."
Remus was not about to admit that he had been blindfolded. Nor who had done it or what the circumstances had been. Or anything else about that night (and nights) for that matter. "You forget that I already have heightened senses, with or without the blindfold. Though with can provide... an interesting experience."
Ignoring the faint twinge that came with the admission that someone else had Remus that way, Severus tilted his head to the side. "I'm sure that even you can think of something more accurate to call it than a simple 'interesting.'"
"What do you expect me to call it?" Remus shot back. "I'm not here to detail every minute detail of my sex life with you. I believe you've made it clear that... you have no such designs on me." Saying it aloud made Remus' stomach twinge in a way he really didn't like. Nor would he ever admit such a thing.
"As if you would welcome them," Severus replied. All evidence to the contrary, he wanted to know for sure.
Clearly Severus was that thick. The butterflies in his stomach flew away and were quickly replaced by sheer annoyance. "Right, because you have the corner on the market of what I feel and for whom apparently."
Severus face was schooled into a perfect blank look, even as thoughts swirled behind his black eyes. "Either deny it or don't," he finally said very softly.
"What, deny it and be hexed or admit it and be mocked. I don't much fancy my choices to be perfectly honest." He exhaled sharply, blowing his fringe away from his face. "Honestly, what would you do if I didn't deny it?"
Severus stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Nothing." Because you would not.
"So, no matter what I do, I would be accused of leading you on, is that it?" Vaguely, Remus wondered how they had switched conversation topics to suddenly discussing... whatever this was. Not six months ago, he had been tortured by the man sitting across from him and calmly taking tea. This was madness.
"And I'm sure you have no idea why I would think you would be less than honest and forthwith with me," Severus snapped back. "As if Gryffindors aren't known for acting first and thinking later."
"Are you bringing up what I think you are?" Remus asked, his mind immediately hurling backwards through time to the damned prank Sirius pulled. "Not all of us are as rash as Sirius was. Do not blame me for that night."
"I've seen very little evidence over the years of that," Severus snarled and stood up. "I know entirely who to blame for that night!"
Remus was on his feet in seconds. He didn't reach for his wand, not yet. "Who, then, are you blaming for that night?" Remus replied, his voice rising with each word. "You cannot believe that I would have anything to do with that prank."
"Because good little Remus Lupin would never do something like that?" Severus snarled and took a step closer to Remus. "Because you are so utterly innocent that you would never lie to anyone?"
Remus' eyes narrowed. "Right, Severus. I'd help plan something that, had it succeeded would have landed me either in Azkaban or dead. Yes, I'd be that stupid." He stepped closer, suddenly realising just how close they were to one another. Another step and they'd be touching. Another few inches and they'd be kissing. He cursed the thought for sliding through his mind. "I've had to lie when necessary. I'm a werewolf, not a saint."
"Do you even know why Black did it?" Severus sneered stepping close enough that his chest pressed against Remus'. "Or are you so completely innocent in that as well, Lupin?"
"Because you hated each other," Remus replied, his breath hitching with their close proximity. "What else was needed? He knew I never quite forgave him for what happened. I'm aware I still was friends with him even afterwards." Remus drew himself up to his full height. "So, you know so much...?" he rested his hand on Severus' chest, ignoring how intimate the touch was. "What was the reason?"
How long had it been since someone had touched him willingly? That was anything more than a purely professional touch? Severus could feel the heat from Remus' hand sinking through his robes and shirt to warm his skin and snarled, "Because he knew I wanted to do this--" was all that he got out. Both hands gripped Remus' shoulders and pulled him forward the last few inches, mouths colliding with more force that Severus intended but he refused to let go until Remus pushed him away.
Remus hadn't meant to touch Severus. It was a hand to brace himself, at least, so he was telling himself in any case. But when Severus closed the distance, it took a moment for Remus' brain to catch up with him. The prank... everything... had been... Hell. And yet, he wasn't pulling away from Severus. He found he couldn't, even if he wanted to. Instead, Remus found himself leaning into the kiss. Maybe it was the proximity of a warm and willing body. Or maybe it was something else entirely.
If Severus was honest with himself, he would admit that he was surprised to feel Remus leaning into him instead of pushing him away. Not that he was complaining (for once) and his hands slid lightly down Remus' chest, ignoring the fierce beating of his own heart to settle lightly on either side of his waist. It didn't really matter to Severus why Remus was doing it, only that he was, and Severus fully intended on taking advantage of the chance. Gentling the kiss, his lips relaxed against Remus', force giving way to something else that he really didn't want to think about.
The kiss was still going on. Once Remus got past that first realisation, he began to enjoy it slightly more. Either this was some elaborate hoax, or, if his brain began to add things up, Severus had wanted this. It was partially hard for Remus to believe given all of their past history. Perhaps Severus was like the boy who put the girl's pigtails in an inkwell because he fancied her. Whatever the reason, Remus gave himself over to the kiss. It had been years since he had been kissed like this: demanding yet gentle all at the same time. "Severus..." Remus whispered softly, breaking the kiss only when the necessity to breathe overcame the desire to continue the kiss.
Swallowing hard once Remus ended it, Severus rocked back onto his heels, eyes still closed. Once he was sure that nothing would show that he didn't want showing, he opened them again, lips thinning into a tight line, already mentally preparing himself for anything that Remus might say. "...Lupin."
It was Remus who opened his eyes first and caught the momentary look on Severus' face. He couldn't decipher it even if he wanted to, but to see Severus with his eyes closed was enough. Something twisted in the pit of his stomach when Remus realised he wouldn't mind seeing Severus like this more often. "I..." Remus drew in a breath, taking a cautious step backwards. "I didn't... didn't mean..." Remember, he kissed you first.
Something entirely different twisted in Severus' stomach, a painful clench and the promise that he could never have what he wanted. "You didn't mean what, Lupin?" He snarled, eyes narrowing.
Didn't mean what? He hadn't meant to kiss Severus, hadn't meant to touch him. Yet, Remus brought a hand to his lips, still feeling the burn of Severus' kiss upon them. Remus opened his mouth to speak, but words failed him. "I'm sorry," he said simply, looking away. I'm sorry that I want to kiss you again. Remus' hand curled as if stopping himself from reaching out to touch Severus again.
Severus watched, forcing himself to remain detached. "Don't bother apologizing, Lupin." It was I that forced it on you. The room was suddenly too small, too confined and stifling. "I shall send you a missive when I know something," he said and took a step back. Once the first step was made, every other one was easier to make as he stalked to the fireplace. "You won't have to see me," he added and threw a handful of Floo powder in, not waiting for an answer before he was gone.
The scene happened all too fast. One moment he was there, the next -- gone. Remus swallowed hard, sinking into the nearest chair. It was only then that he realised just how hard he was shaking. He had no idea what had made him return the kiss or why he was so upset that Severus had stalked away like an overgrown bat. Remus leaned back, closing his eyes. Something had just happened here, and he wasn't quite sure what it was. All he knew was that he had kissed Severus Snape.
And Merlin curse him, but he had enjoyed it.
Where: Remus' Flat
When: July 10th
Status: Complete
Severus stared at the owl that had delivered Remus' letter like he was expecting the bird to finally squawk and transform into a human being. When it hadn't after an hour, he finally threw the letter into the fireplace so it wouldn't be found and buttoned his robe around his shoulders.
"I trust you know how to make it back," he told the owl and lifted the window so she could leave. With a cry, she took off to the air and Severus moved over to the fireplace. Like he had promised Lupin, he sent a letter through first, though it bore only two words. Coming through. He stepped back from the floo for Remus to send something back if he was entertaining before he grabbed a handful of floo powder and called out Remus' address.
Alright, so Remus didn't expect to have a return response so quickly. Usually their owls were sent as pieces of information, nothing that needed replying. Remus was still... slightly disconcerted that Severus had helped them, rather than hindered their progress when saving Minerva. Truly, Remus had expected a trap. To not find one was more than a pleasant surprise.
Not to mention... their own victory. Remus still was relieved over that. He had managed to lead the Order to one victory. That... in and of itself... was a huge triumph.
He had slipped away from Headquarters for the afternoon, needing a bit of time away, as well as to reassert to his landlord that he was indeed still occupying the flat. That and Remus wanted to pick up a few things as well.
Remus looked at the paper in his hand, re-reading the coming through notice. There was no one he was entertaining and luckily he was at his own flat rather then Headquarters. Remus stepped away from the fireplace, crumpling the note up and slipping it into his pocket. First things firs -- put on a pot of tea.
A few seconds later, Severus was stepping out of green flames and into Remus' flat. When he didn't see Remus immediately, he glanced around. "Lupin?" His letter wasn't there, which could only mean that it was already picked up.
Remus was bustling about in the kitchen and didn't hear Severus step through the Floo until the man called out for him. He wiped his hands on his trousers, flicking his wand at the stove and setting it to heat the kettle. "In the kitchen," Remus called out. He raised himself up on his tiptoes, carefully pulling down a couple of mugs. "I assumed you'd want tea, yes?"
Severus was only momentarily taken aback by the thoughtfulness implied in the gesture. "Tea would not be remiss," he said slowly as he swept into the kitchen, almost as if he was waiting for something to jump out and attack him. "Is Minerva well?"
Nodding, Remus handed the two cups to Severus, silently asking him to take them into the other room. Remus followed a moment later, pouring the boiling water into a pot to take out. Simple black tea was in the pot, Remus carrying it and a sugar bowl out with him. "Minerva is fine," Remus replied once he was in the living room once more. "I don't know what we would have done had it not been for your note. You saw, we arrived just in the nick of time." He paused. "How... are you...?" he said, querying the unaskable question of what happened afterwards.
Before Severus answered, he poured the tea into his cup and added nothing to it, preferring it black. "The Dark Lord was not pleased, if that's what you were asking," he finally said, quietly. Indeed, he seemed to be moving a bit slower, his movements a bit more defined as if he was still sore, a weakness that he would not show in front of Death Eaters. "Bellatrix has vowed to find you and bring you in," Severus added. Better that they know what they were facing. "And if she suspects me for not letting her go in first, I don't know of it."
Remus nodded, pulling the sugar bowl closer to himself, spooning three heaping teaspoons into his tea. "It's what I was asking," Remus replied with a curt nod. Remus watched him for a moment, half wondering how much his show of bravado had cost him. It was something Remus would never ask, nor did he really have the right to ask it either. "Bellatrix is out for me now?" Remus asked, setting his spoon aside. "I suppose it was only a matter of time. Do they know I'm the one now leading our rag-tag bunch?" A sip. "You held her back? Is that why Rabastan was there first? I couldn't imagine her not being there at the front. It was unlike her."
"Bellatrix is out for all of you now. The fact that you got McGonagall out from under the Dark Lord and his lackey's is a sore point for them both." Severus lifted his cup to take a sip and paused. "You're leading the Order now?" Merlin save them all. "And yes, I did. She would have come in launching Crucio or worse. You at least stood a chance against Rabastan."
Well that was something he hadn't meant to spill. Remus winced, running a hand through his hair. "Yes, I'm leading them now," Remus replied softly. "I had thought you may have heard already. But yes, you're looking at our fearless leader in the flesh." Remus drew in a breath, staring at his tea much rather than drinking it. "Well, I thank you for that at least. I always wondered how Rabastan has lasted as long as he has."
"Who do you have making your wolfsbane then?" Severus demanded and finally took a sip of his tea. So Remus was heading the Order now. At least he was capable, even if he did turn into a slavering beast every full moon.
Remus stared into his tea and did not look or speak for several long moments. "I... have not taken it in quite some time," Remus confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've kept myself away from others, but... no Wolfsbane."
Severus stared at him for a moment before he finally managed to speak, his voice a low, deadly snarl. "You mean to tell me that you are trying to run the Order and you aren't taking it at all?"
"Well, let's see... can't exactly go running into Diagon Alley to get Wolfsbane now can I?" Remus asked, lifting a brow. "I daresay it would set me off as being exactly who I am and wind me up dead. So no, I'm not taking it. You know I've always been pants at Potions."
"There's another option," Snape murmured and turned back to his tea. It's as much as an offer as he would ever make.
Remus blinked and just stared at Severus for the longest of moments. "You... that is..." Remus drew in a breath. "Would you?"
"I can hardly let you go around killing the entire Order if someone stumbles on you during the full moon," Severus snapped and set his cup down. Not that he would admit that he liked the challenge of brewing Wolfsbane.
"Well it's not as if I actually stay here," Remus replied tersely. "What do you take me for a fool? I go elsewhere where I know no one will find me. However, having Wolfsbane again would simplify things tremendously."
"You aren't taking your Wolfsbane, what do you expect me to take you for?" Severus quipped back.
"I can't bloody afford it," Remus growled in response. "And I can't make it. So I did what I used to do before you made it for me when I taught at Hogwarts. Did without it."
"Yes, well, you'll owe me," Severus snarled and stood up, pacing around the room to stop at the back of his chair. "You cannot go around like this if you are going to be leading the Order. It's out of the question."
Wonderful, something else he'd owe Severus for. This was just bloody brilliant in his estimation. "Well, I have no choice," Remus replied, setting his tea aside. "And the prospect of 'owing' you anything doesn't exactly sit too well with me either for that matter." He sighed, anger fading from his features. "But what choice do I really have?"
"You can either owe me or run the risk of eating someone, which would you prefer?" Severus asked succinctly. Let it never be said that he would fight fair -- he didn't. He refused to. No one would win that way and he did not like the idea of losing.
Remus flushed slightly, sputtering as he stared at Severus. "To be perfectly honest, I'd prefer neither," Remus replied, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. But as soon as it had come, the anger faded from his features, Remus sighing and shaking his head. He had no choice in the matter when it really came down to it. "But... would rather..." Another very, very deep breath. "I'd rather be indebted to you." As much as it pained him to say it, it was the truth.
Severus stared at him for a moment before he uttered, "Don't strain yourself, Lupin." Better the devil you know than the one you don't. Gradually, Severus moved out from behind the chair and eased back into the seat again. "I'm sure that many others would feel better and safer if you were taking it."
Remus watched Severus with his eyes, retrieving his cup of nearly cooled tea. He summoned the pot, reheating his own cup and adding a bit more sugar for good measure. Once more he couldn't quite meet Severus' eyes. For he had been lying about certain things to everyone. Perhaps not openly lying but being deceitful through admission. "The others, have never known," Remus replied softly. "I never said I wasn't taking it, but vaguely implied that I was." Not the perfect Gryffindor, am I?
With the admission came Severus staring again, mouth slack at Remus. "They don't know?" He knew certain people had to know, had to, or was Remus hiding it from them as well? "Did that just manage to slip over their collective brains? Nevermind, don't answer that." Considering some of the students he'd known, he was entirely sure that it probably had. "Regardless, it should be ready by the next full moon." All one would have to do is put you into the headquarters for the Order and let you kill them all for them.
Remus snuck a brief glance at Severus, not sure what to make of the open-mouthed reaction. If the circumstances were different, perhaps he may have taken pleasure in rendering Severus speechless, even if only for a moment. "No, I never told anyone," Remus repeated. "I'm not here during the moons and everyone is more than well aware of what I am thanks to you. They knew not to come see me on the moon, obviously. So I could hide myself elsewhere and no one was the wiser. I know the precautions to take. I lived most of my life without the presence of Wolfsbane, remember."
"Well at least you can't lie about that," Severus said shortly. Even years later, he didn't feel bad about outing Remus' lycanthropy. "And no, I wouldn't remember. I have enough things to keep track of instead of the years that you've been under the influence of Wolfsbane."
"We lie about what we have to lie about," Remus replied, staring at Severus over the rim of his cup. He still had yet to truly forgive Severus from forcing him out of the one job he had truly loved. Though he may have loved the bookstore, it wasn't the same as teaching in the slightest. "Well, in any case --" Remus sighed, sipping his tea. "I do... appreciate the offer, no matter if I must owe you or not."
"Speak for yourself. Some of us lie because we must and sometimes just because we like the look of shock on other people's faces," Severus said calmly and reached for his tea, though he made a face when he realized it was cold. "You could start by pouring me some more tea," he said and pushed his cup towards Remus. Not that it was going to come near the cost of brewing Wolfsbane, but Severus was willing to bide his time until he had something he truly wanted from Remus.
Remus could very easily see Severus as the sort to lie for the sheer shock value of it. True, wasn't he lying and spying on the Death Eaters and hadn't Remus' own reaction to that been suitably shocked? Standing, Remus moved wordlessly with the pot, re-filling Severus' cup. "I flat out refuse to become your servant though," Remus spoke, returning to his seat. "Owe you yes, but not to the point of carrying out your every wish. I can survive without the potion should it come to that."
Severus stared at him for a moment, head tilted to the side before smirking. "If I had wanted a house elf, I would have gotten myself one of the little pests." Not that he would ever say it, but at least Remus was far more attractive than one, though Severus doubted he would be as fun to kick.
That smirk... was almost welcome, strangely enough. Remus glanced away, running a hand hastily through his hair. "Well, I don't fancy being your own personal house elf in any case," Remus said once more. Just in case Severus was having those sorts of designs on him. "You're getting thank yous, which I should hope is more than enough at the present. That, and tea."
That smirk wasn't going anywhere, especially as Severus' voice dipped lower and he taunted Remus. "You don't fancy serving my every whim and desire? What a tragedy."
Remus' stomach was not supposed to flip over like that, nor was he supposed to find himself flushing. Remus stood under the pretense of going to the kitchen to get more tea. He needed the moment, needed to get himself away from Severus if only for a few moments. And he was not supposed to be thinking about taking Severus up on that offer either.
Where the thought had come from, Remus had no idea. All he knew was that there had been a flash of arousal that had uncoiled in his belly from the way Severus' voice dropped and seemed to caress his skin. Buggering bleeding hell.
Remus returned to the sitting room once more, blush gone and carrying a fresh pot of tea. "I thought we could use a refresher and not something charmed hot again."
It was meant to outrage Remus, but as he watched the man flush and leave, Severus stared at his back. Years of finding and manipulating weak points had made him sensitive to them and if he didn't know better, he'd say that Remus liked that idea.
Didn't he know better?
Dark eyes narrowed as Severus considered the possibilities, his mind still working as Remus came back with a fresh pot of tea. "No... Why use a charm when you can do it the natural way?" Severus murmured.
The thing Remus hated most about his impromptu fleeing... was that he had given Severus the upper hand. Remus was no fool. He knew that Severus would be looking for the easiest target to attack later down the line. Besides, why should he have such a reaction to Severus anyway? He was on edge was all, that was it. "Tastes better when done the natural way," Remus said, pouring another cup for Severus. "I'm not sure what I have by way of food to offer you. Haven't been able to stock up here, unfortunately."
Severus considered for a moment before his lips curled into a smirk. "From the source, as it were. Some things do taste quite a bit better that way, untouched by anything else but your lips before it slides down your throat."
It was quite a bit bolder than what he would normally say, but sometimes with Gryffindors, one had to spell it out.
He should have known from the smirk that he wasn't going to like what Severus was about to say. However, he was not expecting that. Thankfully, he hadn't taken a sip of tea, or he was afraid he would have covered himself (and possibly Severus) in tea. As it was, his jaw hit the floor, staring open mouthed at Severus.
"I... you..." he sputtered, trying to work out what had exactly happened. "Are you coming onto me?" he blurted out before he could stop himself.
What Severus truly expected was not what came out of Remus' mouth. Disgust, hatred, anything along those lines but not confusion. His eyes narrowed.
"You're about to let flies in," he finally sneered.
No matter what happened, Remus was determined not to blush. Nor react in any other way. In the end, he wasn't quite as successful as he would have liked. Remus dutifully closed his mouth, becoming more interested in the rim of his teacup.
"Don't say things like that or you're likely to get that reaction."
Severus refused to stare as Remus' cheeks coloured. Will not, will not, will not. "I can think of several other reactions that you would have given or even that I would have given to an undesired overture."
The fact that it wasn't an undesired come-on scared Remus more than he ever would have thought. He schooled his face (though the effect made him look more constipated than anything), hoping to not give anything away. "And just what would those reactions be?" Remus asked, genuinely curious.
This time, Severus did stare at the face Remus was making. "Are you getting enough fiber in your diet?" He finally demanded.
"And Crucio springs to mind."
"My... bowel movements are not up for discussion," Remus replied, standing and seeking the tea pot and the sugar. Definitely the sugar.
"You've already done that once," Remus said dryly. "If that's what you're intending once more, you know where the door is."
"If that is your schooled blank face, it needs work," Severus commented dryly and leaned back into his chair, teacup held in the palm of his hand.
"And for the record, I have no interest in your bowel movements. I truly do have better things to do with my time."
Remus was not amused. He stirred the sugar into his tea a bit rougher than needed, tea sploshing over the rim of the cup. He returned to his seat, wiping his hands on his trousers. "It's whatever face I need it to be and I don't need you chiding me about it either." he drew in a breath. "So long as you're not hexing me, I don't care what 'better' things you have to do with your time."
For all of Remus' violence with his tea, Severus raised his eyebrow and demurely took a sip of his own. "As I am sure I'm one of the few to be on the receiving end of that look, I thought I should inform you that it makes you look as if you need more fiber. If you think that's satisfactory... well." Severus shrugged.
"I have yet to find the need for such a look until now," Remus replied. "I'm not concerned what you truly think of it." It wasn't as if he were about to ask Severus to give him 'lessons' in how to school his face to appear blank. While it may have been useful, he sure as hell wasn't about to ask.
"Sore spot, Lupin?" Severus smirked and set his cup down on the arm of the chair. While he may not ask, such a thing never stopped Severus from ever giving his opinion. "Think of nothing, don't look as if you are attempting to think of nothing."
Was this Severus giving him... advice? Remus scratched the back of his head, determined not to stare at Severus shell-shocked. He was having a hard time figuring out the other man. One moment he was talking about cursing, the next offering him advice and to brew the Wolfsbane. He didn't get it to be perfectly honest. Remus closed his eyes momentarily, letting his mind go blank -- or as blank as it could. He still was unable to completely remove Severus from his mind. A moment later, Remus let the thoughts come flooding back. "Better?" he asked with a slight smile.
"You no longer look like you swallowed a snitch, if that's what you're asking," Severus replied primly. It was a decent attempt, but he rarely gave compliments. "And you'll have to learn to do it with your eyes open. Anyone can do that if they are not looking."
Getting 'advice' from Severus was just slightly disconcerting. Remus pursed his lips, going back to drinking his tea slowly. Once more it had gone cold, but he couldn't bring himself to rise and get fresh. "Yes, well, I like working with my eyes closed," Remus said, quickly realising even that could be taken the wrong way. Bugger.
Severus' eyebrow quirked upwards at the look on Remus' face. "That explains why you weren't capable of making potions... and why you like using your wand so much. It's not hard to use with your eyes shut," Severus quipped, knowing exactly how it would sound. Baiting Gryffindors was far too easy.
Remus no longer knew what to make of Severus. He nearly asked Severus if he was flirting, but didn't have the guts (or the nerve) to ask. He licked his lips unconsciously, shifting in his seat. "I was pants at potions because I could never understand them nor did I ever really care to." He drew in a breath, playing along and deciding he'd see where that got him. "With your eyes shut... you have to rely more on feel."
"That was... frighteningly obvious given your first attempts at it," Severus remarked dryly. No balking this time... Severus smirked a bit and settled deeper into the chair. "It's rather like being blindfolded... Having to rely on each of your other senses to tell you what's going on... Sound. Touch....Taste."
Shifting in his chair, Remus swallowed the abnormally large lump that had formed in his throat. Remus transferred the weight from one side of his body to the other, suddenly aware of how warm it was in the room. "I never claimed to be a Potions master, nor is it something I ever aspired to become." Remus swallowed again, the lump still large. You sound like you're caressing a lover speaking that way. "Like being blindfolded you say?" Remus asked, his voice cracking slightly.
"Mmm. You've never been blindfolded?" Severus asked, falsely innocent. He had of course, but he wasn't going to admit that anymore than he had already, or explain what led up to it. "Pity. Taking away someone's sight changes everything. Makes them nearly hypersensitive to the slightest stimulus."
Remus was not about to admit that he had been blindfolded. Nor who had done it or what the circumstances had been. Or anything else about that night (and nights) for that matter. "You forget that I already have heightened senses, with or without the blindfold. Though with can provide... an interesting experience."
Ignoring the faint twinge that came with the admission that someone else had Remus that way, Severus tilted his head to the side. "I'm sure that even you can think of something more accurate to call it than a simple 'interesting.'"
"What do you expect me to call it?" Remus shot back. "I'm not here to detail every minute detail of my sex life with you. I believe you've made it clear that... you have no such designs on me." Saying it aloud made Remus' stomach twinge in a way he really didn't like. Nor would he ever admit such a thing.
"As if you would welcome them," Severus replied. All evidence to the contrary, he wanted to know for sure.
Clearly Severus was that thick. The butterflies in his stomach flew away and were quickly replaced by sheer annoyance. "Right, because you have the corner on the market of what I feel and for whom apparently."
Severus face was schooled into a perfect blank look, even as thoughts swirled behind his black eyes. "Either deny it or don't," he finally said very softly.
"What, deny it and be hexed or admit it and be mocked. I don't much fancy my choices to be perfectly honest." He exhaled sharply, blowing his fringe away from his face. "Honestly, what would you do if I didn't deny it?"
Severus stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Nothing." Because you would not.
"So, no matter what I do, I would be accused of leading you on, is that it?" Vaguely, Remus wondered how they had switched conversation topics to suddenly discussing... whatever this was. Not six months ago, he had been tortured by the man sitting across from him and calmly taking tea. This was madness.
"And I'm sure you have no idea why I would think you would be less than honest and forthwith with me," Severus snapped back. "As if Gryffindors aren't known for acting first and thinking later."
"Are you bringing up what I think you are?" Remus asked, his mind immediately hurling backwards through time to the damned prank Sirius pulled. "Not all of us are as rash as Sirius was. Do not blame me for that night."
"I've seen very little evidence over the years of that," Severus snarled and stood up. "I know entirely who to blame for that night!"
Remus was on his feet in seconds. He didn't reach for his wand, not yet. "Who, then, are you blaming for that night?" Remus replied, his voice rising with each word. "You cannot believe that I would have anything to do with that prank."
"Because good little Remus Lupin would never do something like that?" Severus snarled and took a step closer to Remus. "Because you are so utterly innocent that you would never lie to anyone?"
Remus' eyes narrowed. "Right, Severus. I'd help plan something that, had it succeeded would have landed me either in Azkaban or dead. Yes, I'd be that stupid." He stepped closer, suddenly realising just how close they were to one another. Another step and they'd be touching. Another few inches and they'd be kissing. He cursed the thought for sliding through his mind. "I've had to lie when necessary. I'm a werewolf, not a saint."
"Do you even know why Black did it?" Severus sneered stepping close enough that his chest pressed against Remus'. "Or are you so completely innocent in that as well, Lupin?"
"Because you hated each other," Remus replied, his breath hitching with their close proximity. "What else was needed? He knew I never quite forgave him for what happened. I'm aware I still was friends with him even afterwards." Remus drew himself up to his full height. "So, you know so much...?" he rested his hand on Severus' chest, ignoring how intimate the touch was. "What was the reason?"
How long had it been since someone had touched him willingly? That was anything more than a purely professional touch? Severus could feel the heat from Remus' hand sinking through his robes and shirt to warm his skin and snarled, "Because he knew I wanted to do this--" was all that he got out. Both hands gripped Remus' shoulders and pulled him forward the last few inches, mouths colliding with more force that Severus intended but he refused to let go until Remus pushed him away.
Remus hadn't meant to touch Severus. It was a hand to brace himself, at least, so he was telling himself in any case. But when Severus closed the distance, it took a moment for Remus' brain to catch up with him. The prank... everything... had been... Hell. And yet, he wasn't pulling away from Severus. He found he couldn't, even if he wanted to. Instead, Remus found himself leaning into the kiss. Maybe it was the proximity of a warm and willing body. Or maybe it was something else entirely.
If Severus was honest with himself, he would admit that he was surprised to feel Remus leaning into him instead of pushing him away. Not that he was complaining (for once) and his hands slid lightly down Remus' chest, ignoring the fierce beating of his own heart to settle lightly on either side of his waist. It didn't really matter to Severus why Remus was doing it, only that he was, and Severus fully intended on taking advantage of the chance. Gentling the kiss, his lips relaxed against Remus', force giving way to something else that he really didn't want to think about.
The kiss was still going on. Once Remus got past that first realisation, he began to enjoy it slightly more. Either this was some elaborate hoax, or, if his brain began to add things up, Severus had wanted this. It was partially hard for Remus to believe given all of their past history. Perhaps Severus was like the boy who put the girl's pigtails in an inkwell because he fancied her. Whatever the reason, Remus gave himself over to the kiss. It had been years since he had been kissed like this: demanding yet gentle all at the same time. "Severus..." Remus whispered softly, breaking the kiss only when the necessity to breathe overcame the desire to continue the kiss.
Swallowing hard once Remus ended it, Severus rocked back onto his heels, eyes still closed. Once he was sure that nothing would show that he didn't want showing, he opened them again, lips thinning into a tight line, already mentally preparing himself for anything that Remus might say. "...Lupin."
It was Remus who opened his eyes first and caught the momentary look on Severus' face. He couldn't decipher it even if he wanted to, but to see Severus with his eyes closed was enough. Something twisted in the pit of his stomach when Remus realised he wouldn't mind seeing Severus like this more often. "I..." Remus drew in a breath, taking a cautious step backwards. "I didn't... didn't mean..." Remember, he kissed you first.
Something entirely different twisted in Severus' stomach, a painful clench and the promise that he could never have what he wanted. "You didn't mean what, Lupin?" He snarled, eyes narrowing.
Didn't mean what? He hadn't meant to kiss Severus, hadn't meant to touch him. Yet, Remus brought a hand to his lips, still feeling the burn of Severus' kiss upon them. Remus opened his mouth to speak, but words failed him. "I'm sorry," he said simply, looking away. I'm sorry that I want to kiss you again. Remus' hand curled as if stopping himself from reaching out to touch Severus again.
Severus watched, forcing himself to remain detached. "Don't bother apologizing, Lupin." It was I that forced it on you. The room was suddenly too small, too confined and stifling. "I shall send you a missive when I know something," he said and took a step back. Once the first step was made, every other one was easier to make as he stalked to the fireplace. "You won't have to see me," he added and threw a handful of Floo powder in, not waiting for an answer before he was gone.
The scene happened all too fast. One moment he was there, the next -- gone. Remus swallowed hard, sinking into the nearest chair. It was only then that he realised just how hard he was shaking. He had no idea what had made him return the kiss or why he was so upset that Severus had stalked away like an overgrown bat. Remus leaned back, closing his eyes. Something had just happened here, and he wasn't quite sure what it was. All he knew was that he had kissed Severus Snape.
And Merlin curse him, but he had enjoyed it.