my semi-break through
In the game of life guys get all of the luck. Girls are stuck with the inconvenient life style, while the guys are drifting through it as if it were nothing. We have to comb, brush, primp, and accessorize, while "men" sit on the couch watching reruns of Sienfeld and The Simpsons. Personally, I find this unfair. Why should women have to spend all of this time on themselves just to look good for a guy who probably wont even notice or have the slightest clue what efforts went into this. I find this all so tiring. I want a guy to simply pay attention to me, and notice if I have done something different with my hair, and if at all possible could act at least the slightest bit interested in my life and what I have to say. I know I'm preaching to the choir, but a girl can dream, can’t she? Regrettably, I admit that we still live in a men’s world. Women are still forced to accomplish more, and live up to the standards men have and women have for themselves. Maybe I should just higher my standards. If I did that I think I would be single the rest of my life. However if we continue to hold men to the standards already reached, we will never be satisfied, nor will we have respectable men to come home to. Personally, I don’t feel like devoting my life to some male who just can’t accept me for who I am, and can’t learn to grow with me as a person. Maybe I really do ask for too much. Although, this is just not about my love life, or lack there of. This is about how men are viewed differently then women. This is about how men always seem to come out on top. Things will be different this time. I will persevere. I will make sure I amount up to more then the pathetic guys that have doubted or have held me back from who I want to be and what I want to accomplish. People that hold you back from something that is important to you, is just not worth having around and I have learned this. I have learned so much in the past year, but I fear I will repeat the same foolish mistakes I have made before. When will I trust myself enough to not make the same mistakes? When will I be able to finally look in the mirror and like what I see? When will I be satisfied with myself, and know that something’s are just out of my control? I’m working on this..taking one step at a time..restoring the faith I used to have in myself. I am slowly beginning to feel good about myself again. For once this is something that no male will be able to take for me. I will allow myself to be that better person. I will live my life, and leave them all in the past..