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dear luke,
when you were here i was trying to explain to you how i was in the middle. I was ready to either be with you, and re-open a door I’d almost closed, or let you go, and fully close it. and i didn't want to reopen the door if you weren't ready to be with me, and i didn't want to close it if you weren't ready to let go. it was an okay place to be. friends. who still cared a little.
a little. i don't think about you a lot in a romantic way. not physically or emotionally. i think about you because i don't have any friends left who get me the way you do. and that leaves a hole in me. i wanted a friend.
but i can't go back and forth. i can't be someone who cares about you when you're bored or lonely or on the east coast and then someone you don't even want to see 4 days later. you can't tell me you love me if you want to be friends. it took you two years to tell me you love me. i expect it to mean something. and sometimes honesty isn't the best policy. if you feel something for me, but you don't want to be with me, keep it to yourself.
because you opened the door i didn't want to open just for fun. you don't want to be with me. and i don't think i want to be with you anymore either.
i'm not mad, i just don't want you to be part of my life anymore. i'm letting go. i wish we were capable of friendship, i tried to be, but i don't think you are.
so if you're going to lie in bed at night thinking that someone still loves you, someone's thinking about you, just know that person isn't me.
-michelle
when you were here i was trying to explain to you how i was in the middle. I was ready to either be with you, and re-open a door I’d almost closed, or let you go, and fully close it. and i didn't want to reopen the door if you weren't ready to be with me, and i didn't want to close it if you weren't ready to let go. it was an okay place to be. friends. who still cared a little.
a little. i don't think about you a lot in a romantic way. not physically or emotionally. i think about you because i don't have any friends left who get me the way you do. and that leaves a hole in me. i wanted a friend.
but i can't go back and forth. i can't be someone who cares about you when you're bored or lonely or on the east coast and then someone you don't even want to see 4 days later. you can't tell me you love me if you want to be friends. it took you two years to tell me you love me. i expect it to mean something. and sometimes honesty isn't the best policy. if you feel something for me, but you don't want to be with me, keep it to yourself.
because you opened the door i didn't want to open just for fun. you don't want to be with me. and i don't think i want to be with you anymore either.
i'm not mad, i just don't want you to be part of my life anymore. i'm letting go. i wish we were capable of friendship, i tried to be, but i don't think you are.
so if you're going to lie in bed at night thinking that someone still loves you, someone's thinking about you, just know that person isn't me.
-michelle