Its the progression.
I walk down the street. There is a hole.
I fall into the hole so deep.
I struggle to get out.
I get out.
I walk down the street.
I fall into the same hole, deeper this time.
I struggle to get out.
I get out.
I walk down the street.
I see the hole, and choose to jump in anyway.
I struggle even longer to get out.
I get out.
I walk down the street.
I see the hole.
I walk around it.
I walk down a different street.
I'm working on a bunch of projects. I'm pretty happy with myself lately. I have plans to complete a children's book, pro tem titled The Apple Tree. I wrote a short journalistic article called "They Kiss Better in Florida." I'm working on a paper about mystical phenomena titled "Psychology and The Occult: Why Seeing Is Not Always Believing."
I've been taking more pictures.
Playing with more makeup.
Playing in photoshop.
Helping out.
Cooking amazing organic vegan dinners.
Cleaning my ass off.
Paying off all my bills.
Going to work every day this week.
Getting over being sick.
Learned two new songs on the piano.
I'm pretty much on a responsible role.
Its good to see the universe, fate, or luck (whatever you want to call it) is giving me a second chance to right all the wrongs I've done, felt and said. Shit, most people can't be that lucky. Usually when a situation goes to hell, you lose the person and you take the information you learned on to the next situation and try to not repeat yourself. You learn what you want and how to do things the right way. You learn from your mistakes and move on. But I've been blessed enough NOT to lose the person, even after the THOUSAND fuck ups and horrible things that have happened between us. The fights, the terrible things I said, the things we did, the feelings hurt, bent, broken. Something's giving me a chance to do things the right way this time.
I refuse to fuck it up this time.
I value our friendship a lot
and I care about you a whole bunch.
I would do a lot for you, and I want you to know I'm here for you whenever you need me.
Theres no need to feel awkward anymore.
The past is the past; lets put it behind us.
I respect your boundaries and your decisions.
And honestly, I even like your new girlfriend.
Like I said, I'm really lucky.
In material issues:
My friend is painting me a picture, and I adore him and his art, so its definitely going to have a nice place on my wall. I'm really flattered and excited to be a part of this.
Also, I posted a bulletin on myspace about how I really wanted a voilin, not expecting anything of it. (I post really stupid crap on myspace.) To my surprise, someone I know through friends but not personally happened to be given a violin. Hes now giving it to me, for free. I've been wanting one for years now, and this means I can teach myself how to play it again. I miss it a lot. I'm really happy.
I feel like I've been sort of hitting a good luck spell this week. Of course, I don't want to jinx it though. I'll be keeping these fingers crossed.
My doctor says I worry, doubt, and overanalyze too much.
My spiritual advisor says I'm doing the right thing.
My friends think I'm ridiculous.
That I am.
And I love every second of it.
I fall into the hole so deep.
I struggle to get out.
I get out.
I walk down the street.
I fall into the same hole, deeper this time.
I struggle to get out.
I get out.
I walk down the street.
I see the hole, and choose to jump in anyway.
I struggle even longer to get out.
I get out.
I walk down the street.
I see the hole.
I walk around it.
I walk down a different street.
I'm working on a bunch of projects. I'm pretty happy with myself lately. I have plans to complete a children's book, pro tem titled The Apple Tree. I wrote a short journalistic article called "They Kiss Better in Florida." I'm working on a paper about mystical phenomena titled "Psychology and The Occult: Why Seeing Is Not Always Believing."
I've been taking more pictures.
Playing with more makeup.
Playing in photoshop.
Helping out.
Cooking amazing organic vegan dinners.
Cleaning my ass off.
Paying off all my bills.
Going to work every day this week.
Getting over being sick.
Learned two new songs on the piano.
I'm pretty much on a responsible role.
Its good to see the universe, fate, or luck (whatever you want to call it) is giving me a second chance to right all the wrongs I've done, felt and said. Shit, most people can't be that lucky. Usually when a situation goes to hell, you lose the person and you take the information you learned on to the next situation and try to not repeat yourself. You learn what you want and how to do things the right way. You learn from your mistakes and move on. But I've been blessed enough NOT to lose the person, even after the THOUSAND fuck ups and horrible things that have happened between us. The fights, the terrible things I said, the things we did, the feelings hurt, bent, broken. Something's giving me a chance to do things the right way this time.
I refuse to fuck it up this time.
I value our friendship a lot
and I care about you a whole bunch.
I would do a lot for you, and I want you to know I'm here for you whenever you need me.
Theres no need to feel awkward anymore.
The past is the past; lets put it behind us.
I respect your boundaries and your decisions.
And honestly, I even like your new girlfriend.
Like I said, I'm really lucky.
In material issues:
My friend is painting me a picture, and I adore him and his art, so its definitely going to have a nice place on my wall. I'm really flattered and excited to be a part of this.
Also, I posted a bulletin on myspace about how I really wanted a voilin, not expecting anything of it. (I post really stupid crap on myspace.) To my surprise, someone I know through friends but not personally happened to be given a violin. Hes now giving it to me, for free. I've been wanting one for years now, and this means I can teach myself how to play it again. I miss it a lot. I'm really happy.
I feel like I've been sort of hitting a good luck spell this week. Of course, I don't want to jinx it though. I'll be keeping these fingers crossed.
My doctor says I worry, doubt, and overanalyze too much.
My spiritual advisor says I'm doing the right thing.
My friends think I'm ridiculous.
That I am.
And I love every second of it.