(no subject)
i love my house i love my house i love my house and everyone that lives in it.
i knew this would be amazing. and this moment i feel
happier than i have this whole entire fucking year!
weening from the ex. farther and farther. good! he wanted to come to my house 1 am last saturday to watch a movie. said yes then changed my mind. then sent a lengthy email explaining the change of heart and how we werent getting back together. and we couldnt pretend we were going too. we were supposed to go to the movies and food thursday. changed my mind. he left flowers on my bike, slept on my bedroom floor on tuesday. he walked me to work and held my hand and we exchanged heartfelt nostalgic i love yous. that hurt more than help. the validation of love is good, but unecessary. last saturday he walked ahead of me and we didnt talk but he was still trying to want to be walking with me. i got on my bike and rode home. all of this is like when i told him i wasnt in love with him anymore. the feelings are there and its tought to realize all of it. but i'm not in love with him. he's kind of skeezy. i
care about him. but i really do need my space. i just want to be neutral with him. we've stucked so much of our emotions out. its definetly over. and friendship could be on the horizon...but a long time a ways.
and last night i was eating homemade pizza--goat cheese, nutritional yeast, peppers, broc, garlic, tomatoes, onions, paprika, garlic salt, pepper on spinach torillas---when i came to the happy realization on being stoked on someone. new.
my room mate charlotte( the lil one) did her intrepretive dance for us last night. we all had a cleaning binge on our totally trashed house. we had an awesome homecoming party saturday. i was stephen. the sexy tranny with cleavage to my face. i kissed and became enchanted with other cross dressers and a girl i never met before. almost got a citation. charlotte (the older one) found $20 in our backyard. we found some unopened, or half opened beer. and a bag of weed.
i lost my job this morning. for lack of interest and prescence. gotta find a new one. one that actually excites me and i'll grow from. not a monkey job.
suggestions?
i knew this would be amazing. and this moment i feel
happier than i have this whole entire fucking year!
weening from the ex. farther and farther. good! he wanted to come to my house 1 am last saturday to watch a movie. said yes then changed my mind. then sent a lengthy email explaining the change of heart and how we werent getting back together. and we couldnt pretend we were going too. we were supposed to go to the movies and food thursday. changed my mind. he left flowers on my bike, slept on my bedroom floor on tuesday. he walked me to work and held my hand and we exchanged heartfelt nostalgic i love yous. that hurt more than help. the validation of love is good, but unecessary. last saturday he walked ahead of me and we didnt talk but he was still trying to want to be walking with me. i got on my bike and rode home. all of this is like when i told him i wasnt in love with him anymore. the feelings are there and its tought to realize all of it. but i'm not in love with him. he's kind of skeezy. i
care about him. but i really do need my space. i just want to be neutral with him. we've stucked so much of our emotions out. its definetly over. and friendship could be on the horizon...but a long time a ways.
and last night i was eating homemade pizza--goat cheese, nutritional yeast, peppers, broc, garlic, tomatoes, onions, paprika, garlic salt, pepper on spinach torillas---when i came to the happy realization on being stoked on someone. new.
my room mate charlotte( the lil one) did her intrepretive dance for us last night. we all had a cleaning binge on our totally trashed house. we had an awesome homecoming party saturday. i was stephen. the sexy tranny with cleavage to my face. i kissed and became enchanted with other cross dressers and a girl i never met before. almost got a citation. charlotte (the older one) found $20 in our backyard. we found some unopened, or half opened beer. and a bag of weed.
i lost my job this morning. for lack of interest and prescence. gotta find a new one. one that actually excites me and i'll grow from. not a monkey job.
suggestions?