(no subject)
Title: D.I.D. part 5
pairings:jaeho, jaemin
rating: pg-13
Summary: Jaejoong has multiple personality disorder
notes: sorry its kind of sloppy and sorry for any typos.
“Y-yunho hates me.” Changmin spoke shakily. His chest heaving as tears poured out, flooding his vision. “Probably now Junsu and Yoochun hate me.” Changmin rocked back and forth squeezing his legs tighter and tighter to his chest, almost trying to avoid the rising water of the bathtub to touch his pant leg. “t-they all hate me now.” Changmin pulled at his hair as if trying to pull the thoughts out of his head.
His chest hurt from the lack of air filling his lungs, the tears falling from his eyes and the thoughts in his head, was what he was concentrated on. The horrors which haunted him since that morning when they had begun, refused to release him from their tight grasp.
“They will be better with out me. Better as four. Better without having to worry about me rotting in some prison cell, for something I didn’t do. But they don’t know I didn’t do it, and they will never believe me. They never listen to me. I’m just the youngest why would I ever tell the truth? Why would the eldest with the mental disorder ever lie?” Changmin’s sobbing turned into manic laugher filling the cheap motel room. His laugher which questioned his own sanity went on until, the image of Yunho’s hurt expression filled his mind, controlling his thoughts, rendering him in tears.
His loud sobbing ringing in his own ears. He had hurt his hyung and there was no way of taking back all the sinful event which lead to this pain. Changmin had never meant to hurt someone so dear to him, someone who protected him, someone who loved him. Changmin’s heart was in so much pain he was surprised it still beat, it felt as someone was squeezing, tearing, and literally stepping on his heart. Knowing he ruined such important friendships felt worse than any physical pain he had ever dealt with.
He knew he had to bring this pain to a stop, his pain and the other’s. If he was gone no one would worry they would get raped by him, and he wouldn’t receive those questioning looks every where he went. He knew Yunho would feel at peace. “This isn’t working!” Changmin growled splashing the slow rising water, he wanted death to come faster, he didn’t want to wait for the water to reach it’s destination and drown him. His hands dug pleadingly into his pocket, searching for the necklace he had placed in there. What he pulled out of his pocket wasn’t a necklace but a more powerful tool.
Changmin flipped the small blade out of his pocket knife. Looking at it’s silver shine. He ran his thumb against the blade, testing it, before he placed it to his wrist cutting a clean slice up his arm, he repeated this to his other wrist, then watched the dark liquid ooze out of the cut and into the clean bath, diluting the thick blood.
“I’m sorry Yunho, I’m so sorry Yunho.” Changmin repeated quietly to himself as he let the pain bleed out. “I-I never meant..” His eyelids began to feel heavier forcing his eyes to close and forever see darkness.
pairings:jaeho, jaemin
rating: pg-13
Summary: Jaejoong has multiple personality disorder
notes: sorry its kind of sloppy and sorry for any typos.
“Y-yunho hates me.” Changmin spoke shakily. His chest heaving as tears poured out, flooding his vision. “Probably now Junsu and Yoochun hate me.” Changmin rocked back and forth squeezing his legs tighter and tighter to his chest, almost trying to avoid the rising water of the bathtub to touch his pant leg. “t-they all hate me now.” Changmin pulled at his hair as if trying to pull the thoughts out of his head.
His chest hurt from the lack of air filling his lungs, the tears falling from his eyes and the thoughts in his head, was what he was concentrated on. The horrors which haunted him since that morning when they had begun, refused to release him from their tight grasp.
“They will be better with out me. Better as four. Better without having to worry about me rotting in some prison cell, for something I didn’t do. But they don’t know I didn’t do it, and they will never believe me. They never listen to me. I’m just the youngest why would I ever tell the truth? Why would the eldest with the mental disorder ever lie?” Changmin’s sobbing turned into manic laugher filling the cheap motel room. His laugher which questioned his own sanity went on until, the image of Yunho’s hurt expression filled his mind, controlling his thoughts, rendering him in tears.
His loud sobbing ringing in his own ears. He had hurt his hyung and there was no way of taking back all the sinful event which lead to this pain. Changmin had never meant to hurt someone so dear to him, someone who protected him, someone who loved him. Changmin’s heart was in so much pain he was surprised it still beat, it felt as someone was squeezing, tearing, and literally stepping on his heart. Knowing he ruined such important friendships felt worse than any physical pain he had ever dealt with.
He knew he had to bring this pain to a stop, his pain and the other’s. If he was gone no one would worry they would get raped by him, and he wouldn’t receive those questioning looks every where he went. He knew Yunho would feel at peace. “This isn’t working!” Changmin growled splashing the slow rising water, he wanted death to come faster, he didn’t want to wait for the water to reach it’s destination and drown him. His hands dug pleadingly into his pocket, searching for the necklace he had placed in there. What he pulled out of his pocket wasn’t a necklace but a more powerful tool.
Changmin flipped the small blade out of his pocket knife. Looking at it’s silver shine. He ran his thumb against the blade, testing it, before he placed it to his wrist cutting a clean slice up his arm, he repeated this to his other wrist, then watched the dark liquid ooze out of the cut and into the clean bath, diluting the thick blood.
“I’m sorry Yunho, I’m so sorry Yunho.” Changmin repeated quietly to himself as he let the pain bleed out. “I-I never meant..” His eyelids began to feel heavier forcing his eyes to close and forever see darkness.