random ramblings
I'm just trying to figure out my way around this site....thought i should go ahead and post something...
i know no one will probably ever read this and that's probably a very good thing.... i just wanted somewhere where i could write down my thoughts, or lack there of, and just look around. really i'm just bored and frustrated and stuck in a void. there are 2 turns my life can take right now and I'm stuck here in between them, just waiting to find out what i need to know before i can venture down one of the roads. that's very vague and makes very little sense, i apologize, non existent reader, for my lack of writing ability. I wish I could write how I feel. I wish I had the words and the capacity to express myself. But, alas, I don’t. I’ll stumble over my words and my thoughts will get ahead of my hands, but I need to try. For my own sanity. I’m stuck. Like really stuck. Like more than you can know. I’m not sad or even upset, just stuck. I want out. I want out of the decisions I’ve made and I want to make new ones. I know I had the chance to start over and I botched it. I want another chance. I may not deserve it, but I sure want one. Is that bad? I don’t really care if it is. But this time I’m ready. I’m ready to start over and do it right. but i don't think I'm going to get that chance. so now what? now I'm really stuck. oh well. I just gotta deal with it and move on. or at least try. I'll go crazy if I don't at least try.
I'm not really a depressing person, I swear. Even though my one and only post so far seems to imply that. I guess that I'm just currently a bit depressed, but that'll change, hopefully sooner rather than later. and for now, I'm off to wander the house.
goodnight.
i know no one will probably ever read this and that's probably a very good thing.... i just wanted somewhere where i could write down my thoughts, or lack there of, and just look around. really i'm just bored and frustrated and stuck in a void. there are 2 turns my life can take right now and I'm stuck here in between them, just waiting to find out what i need to know before i can venture down one of the roads. that's very vague and makes very little sense, i apologize, non existent reader, for my lack of writing ability. I wish I could write how I feel. I wish I had the words and the capacity to express myself. But, alas, I don’t. I’ll stumble over my words and my thoughts will get ahead of my hands, but I need to try. For my own sanity. I’m stuck. Like really stuck. Like more than you can know. I’m not sad or even upset, just stuck. I want out. I want out of the decisions I’ve made and I want to make new ones. I know I had the chance to start over and I botched it. I want another chance. I may not deserve it, but I sure want one. Is that bad? I don’t really care if it is. But this time I’m ready. I’m ready to start over and do it right. but i don't think I'm going to get that chance. so now what? now I'm really stuck. oh well. I just gotta deal with it and move on. or at least try. I'll go crazy if I don't at least try.
I'm not really a depressing person, I swear. Even though my one and only post so far seems to imply that. I guess that I'm just currently a bit depressed, but that'll change, hopefully sooner rather than later. and for now, I'm off to wander the house.
goodnight.