a matter of days

[notesinblue]

i'm watching Lost in another tiny window. my interest has somewhat waned, but i don't think it's the fault of the show. i feel somewhat discontent. i think it's because my vacation is nearly over and i haven't done a damn thing. i still have plenty i'd like to do, but time is short. worse, court is creeping closer and i have such a sick feeling in my stomach everytime i think about it, it's unreal. i want to be done, but i no longer believe this will be the end. there will be more. sometimes i'm afraid it will never be done, that i will be trapped in this cycle of hell forever. of course i know it's not true. one day it will be over. i just wish i knew that day was going to be soon.

lord am i tired of writing that over and over again. the same shit, just a different day. if only there was something i could do about it. i suppose i could try to focus on something else, like all those things i want to do that i mentioned. maybe i could write a list. hmm. okay. let's try it. who knows, maybe it will invigorate me. i could use some inspiration right about now.

finish watching Lost
take down X-mas decorations
cook up a story for monday
start the travel journal
edit
finish reading fortune
happiness scrapbook
photoblog (ongoing)
register
clean and decorate the loft
play a game (Shadow Hearts, ongoing)
mix two/three supernatural playlists
burn disks for friends
get things ready for next semester
call dentist