In my dreams, I'm a whore.
The subject line says it all. I had this really crazy dream last night. In it, Jason and I were at some Dubai-like resort where Gloria and GJ were also; I think meeting his extended family. But we never met up with each other because Gloria got stuck with GJs family and we never left our hotel room. In our room was an assortment of men and women who seemed to be a friend group already, and they were in our room because - I have no idea, but everyone was engaged in some sort of activity. Some people were unpacking, some were watching TV or talking on the phone. And some were having sex. But the sex wasn't the focus of the room, but it was a charged backdrop that sometimes became noticeable to everyone. So while Jason and I were doing things around the room, setting up the bathroom, talking on the phone with Gloria, or talking with each other there was a couple having sex in one of the three king sized beds in the room. Seemed like someone had MTV playing music in the background.
After the couple had sex one of the other men in the room came over and climbed onto the ample low, dark couch next to me. He was dirty blonde, small, but fit and nude. He sidled up and let body contact happen with ease. His arm crossing my chest to climb over my stomach. legs bristling hair in long movements. Erections bumping in an almost "Excuse me," -inducing moment. But no talking, because he began kissing me with open mouth in a firm and passioned way. We would stop kissing and talk for minutes at a time. Electric talk, small words meaning nothing but used to touch each other with anything we could. Breathy words. Then he said the clearest thing. "Would you let me make you feel good?" I hesitated and pulled back slightly. "What about Jason?" I asked as an honest invitation to include him into what was happening and as a barrier to halt this from happening. He easily and assuredly said, "Why would he be left out?" and the answer was in the question.
Jason reentered the room a quick minute later holding some clothing. He saw us laying in the couch and made a slight biting comment, "You guys look like you're getting friendly." but kept on moving about the room. I slowly introduced the idea as he approached us again, "He would like to make me feel really good...what do you think?" and my question should have included Jason, because the reaction that formed on his face was both surprising in its quietness but ground quaking across his expression. Low and direct, "Why would I be okay with that? I have your love for me." The logic was simple and declarative. He paused for a second to shift clothing in his hands, folded something. He let go in a measured tone, "I want to cry right now thinking of what you're telling me." His face started to shake a little as he folded on. Noticing the misunderstanding, I slid in, "I wouldn't do this without you." as an easy invitation. "I want this for you too." And without drama or sharpness, he softly said, "I don't need it when I have you." And the subject, for me, was done. I stood up and walked over to help him fold clothes.
The blonde was casual by this point and rolled over on the couch and let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm worth more than this." Stood and left.