Dear Furbrat:
We share a Mother Unit, and when that Mother Unit goes out of town, I am your Designated Replacement Human. I fully understand that this arrangement works out well for nobody except our Mother Unit, but just because she doesn't love you enough to spend her entire life in this house paying her respects to Your Imperial Furry Butt does not give you license to make my life as your Designated Replacement Human any more unpleasant than it already is.
I realise that little pre-dawn raid this morning was probably my fault for leaving the door open. Mea Culpa. Please note, however, that the next time you wake me up at 4:30 in the a.m. by leaping repeatedly from the floor onto stragetic points on my body and back again, I will spit-roast you.
No love
Your Designated Replacement Human, who now has a massive sleep-dep induced headache.
I realise that little pre-dawn raid this morning was probably my fault for leaving the door open. Mea Culpa. Please note, however, that the next time you wake me up at 4:30 in the a.m. by leaping repeatedly from the floor onto stragetic points on my body and back again, I will spit-roast you.
No love
Your Designated Replacement Human, who now has a massive sleep-dep induced headache.