[open]

[note_atem]

It had been five years since Atem was granted his own body and his own life in your time. It had been four years since something you couldn't quite place happened between you two. After some big event in both your lives- he'd looked at you differently. The problem was you hadn't understood it. Slowly you realized you'd spurned that look from him-

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[whitewizardboy]

"The same, I guess." Going to school, searching for a job, trying to rebuild his trust in people, even he had to hide the root cause of his trust problems (mainly for the fact that it involves Ancient Egyptian spirits, dark shadow magic, and just a string of events that no normal person should be subjected to.) But nothing wrong with trying to get on with life, right?

"I've... I've talked with Yuugi-kun recently. He's... he's glad that you're doing well." With Atem as reigning King of Games, Yuugi had decided to follow in his Grandfather's footsteps and study archeology. But, Ryou felt bad that Yuugi was the only one he had bothered to stay in contact with. Matter of fact, it was probably the healthiest relationship he had, even if it only consisted of video chats (Yuugi had insisted on that, since he wanted to see Ryou's face and make sure that he was still okay.) and hand-written letters with a minimum of two picture attachments.

"He... He also says hi to everyone...He misses you, sometimes..." Yuugi had also said to resolve whatever the problem Ryou had with his other half, cause... the behavior he was engaging in... well, it had him a little worried. He wanted them both to be happy, in the end. But he also didn't want the two of them to destroy themselves in avoiding each other.

[note_atem]

"Doing well, is he? I'm glad." For the both of them. But of course he couldn't not be happy for his partner- once and always. Even the lifestyle he was leading and Yuugi being elsewhere, he never felt too far out of touch. And it was good that his oldest friend and closest confident was keeping an eye on Ryou.

Atem really kept an eye on both of them. But that didn't need to be said, or it was left unsaid. Either. Having a good stash of money from the tournament circuit prizes was a good thing. It least enabled him to be close without being close.

He probably didn't really deserve to be close to anyone with the way he was acting. So distance was best. "We should all have a big get together soon." All of them back together. Hm.

[whitewizardboy]

Ryou nodded. "Maybe sometimes over the summer months, so that we can at least have Yuugi-kun home for the time being?" He wanted to see the others too, no doubt about it, but Yuugi was the one he really wanted to see. The others... just seemed to only see the Spirit whenever they looked at him, and they had good reason in the past. But now, seeing Atem separated from Yuugi and the items gone... why should that hesitation still be there?

At least Yuugi and Atem understood that he was his own person, completely different from Bakura, and Ryou was the one that remained, not the Spirit.

"H-how have your duels been going? Easy, or is there a bit of a challenge?" He wanted to talk, he desperately wanted to talk about what happened those years ago. He wanted to know why Atem was acting like this. He wanted to tell him what he really thought of all this... risque behavior and... ...and that he wanted to apologize for whatever he did wrong for making the relationship going south the way it did...

Too bad revealing true feelings is never an easy feat.

[note_atem]

He shifted in his stance, a hand coming down to rest against his hip. It was easy enough to fall into, though talking about his own life wasn't something he liked to do often. One might think differently, but he was private when he could manage to be. But because it was Ryou that asked, he would oblige.

"A challenge here and there. Some of these newer duelists just like to rush in without much thought to their deck." A light chuckle. "But they'll get better with time, I'm sure." Due to his title he always felt like he couldn't refuse any challenges. It was a taxing effort but rewarding sometimes.

His attention was easily redirected back toward Ryou, his eyes catching the other's. "And what about you? What have you been up to?"

[whitewizardboy]

"Time, practice, and a little patience usually makes anything better, games or otherwise." He smiled a bit. Time certainly has the power to do just about anything; destroy, anger, heal, grow, renew, and a host of other things.

He just hoped that the healing part was starting now... He scratched the back of his neck.

"Just... a few things here and there. Going to school, trying to find a job..." he mumbles a bit about trying to make some new friends, but it doesn't seem to be working that well. He scratched his head again and looks away. He knows that he won't be able to say what he wants if he's looking Atem in the eye.

"Listen... a-about what happened four years... I'm sorry." He bowed, hoping his long hair would hide his face better.

[note_atem]

There might have been another continuing response towards the conversation. Small idle chat as it was, Atem really did enjoy it. But he was stopped in place, if not all together completely by the sudden topic of four years ago.

Four years ago.

Not only that, but Ryou was apologizing- looking away even. Atem's eyes stayed with the other, but not a complete stare. "Why should you be sorry?" He hoped his voice wasn't as weak as he was suddenly feeling.

[whitewizardboy]

He wasn't ready. It was probably the only way he could explain it truthfully. His head stayed down as he explained. He didn't want to lose courage now, not when he just wanted to get this off his chest. If he was ever going move on in life, he needed to allow some wounds to heal. Even if the first step was stripping off the makeshift bandage.

"I was scared... and confused at first. Everything was just happening so fast, and why you chose me... of all people... I didn't know. I would have thought you would have stayed with someone else... It would have made more sense with Yuugi-kun... or even Anzu-san... Hell, even Kaiba would have made more sense than choosing me. It's why I pushed you away. I thought you were making a mistake... and... I wasn't ready to trust anyone... not yet. Not after everything all of us have been through."

He stood up, his hair falling back but still refusing to look at Atem.

"So... what I'm saying is that I'm sorry... for pushing you away. You wanted to be close to someone and I... I just shot that down for my own... silly, stupid reasons. So.. please forgive me."

[note_atem]

He turned a little away now, looking off to the side, his body sideways from Ryou's own. His head still tilted up, a sharp contrast it seemed to the way Ryou had gone about giving this confession. He wasn't sure what to make of it. He certainly hadn't expected it.

"You don't have to justify your reasons to me." Anymore than Atem had to justify what he'd been out doing. But that was left unsaid. Really none of this needed to be said.

"I was never angry with you, so there's nothing to forgive. I'm still not mad." He had been a little upset, sure. Getting turned down was never easy. "So it's alright."

[whitewizardboy]

Well, he did feel a little better, getting that off of his chest after so many years. Just saying it aloud... Not that it would affect anything, but still... it felt good.

"Just... wondered if you acting... well, not you, had anything to do with me and I just wanted to say sorry... if I was. I-I know that it won't change anything, but I wanted you to know that I still cared about you then, even if I couldn't thoroughly trust you. You're a good person. I don't want you to get hurt by... by what you're doing..." He didn't expect the behavior to stop, but maybe think a bit before he goes through with them? Maybe?

[note_atem]

He almost felt a little defensive, not that he really should have to defend his actions. No one ever told him not to do it. No one really could tell him not to. No one ever seemed to have a problem with it. It's not like he was looking for advice on how to live his life. But no one had ever said it was wrong.

A small glance at the other. "What do you think about how I'm conducting myself?"

[whitewizardboy]

Well, he had to think about that for a minute. His behavior in the duel arena was always respectful to all parties involved. At least that much hadn't changed. Atem would always give respect to the other duelist, no matter who it was.

But outside of the arena... outside of duels and battling...

"Your conduct seems... hypocritical." It was probably the simplest way he could put it. "You're an honorable duelist, and many people respect you for that. But... outside of dueling, it seems like it's a different story." It seemed like lately he was anything but honorable.

[note_atem]

It stung a little to hear. Maybe it was what he needed to hear- even if he was quick to get defensive about it. His arms tucked across his chest tightly and his head turned away again.

"Why is there something wrong with going out and living life?" The last one he was going to have, anyway.

[whitewizardboy]

"There's nothing wrong with going out and living life, just... the way you're living your life it's... it's demeaning. I'd just think that... you could find something more respectable to do." Little kids look up to him. Should little kids be doing what Atem was doing?

"Why should the King of Games also be called 'The Playboy of Domino City'?

[note_atem]

Now there was a more intense gaze leveled Ryou's way. His stance shifted yet again; all this movement was showing outwardly how uncomfortable he was. But he was remaining calm and confident as always.

"Are you saying I have the ability to control the media? It's not like I asked for that name, you know."

[whitewizardboy]

"People can control what they can do. The media just takes what they can get." And it seemed like they could gather much from what Atem was doing.

"What have you been doing, truthfully?"

[note_atem]

Defensive and coiled so tightly into himself as he was, his first instinct was to lash out. Some of the more barbed retorts were left behind as he circled them on his tongue. His eyes averted, looking out just into the distance. Like it was the only thing he cared to see.

"Keeping myself from getting hurt again." Flings, one night stands... if he never got attached to anyone he'd never have the chance to get hurt again. It wasn't the best excuse but it was the most rational. Until just then he actually hadn't given it much thought.