Freaky Nightmare and Random Angst
One final to go. Turns out my Flash final is due on Friday so I just left after class was done on Wendseday. I really wasn't in the mood to stay and deal with it. Not with everything that's going on right now.
I think Chavez understood, he kinda sensed I was out of it. Or at least I imagined that anyway. I never can tell with him. He said he liked my design so far so I'm hoping he'll like the finished product and not get on my case for the horrid half assed text I place for the different band information.
I'd draw to clear my head of the dizziness but everything that comes out is decent but not what I want. I have a bunch of ideas but they're just not coming out right on paper.
Dammit.
I should cry. My mind keeps telling me I should. But I just don't have any tears to cry out. Damn bastard.
At least my angst helped me to make a new web layout.
I had a dream, a nightmare really last night, and described it sort of below. I don't recommend you read if your easily distrubed. It freaked me out anyway.
I had a pretty violent dream last night. It involved racism, a woman and a man (married I presume) insulting me because I'm mixed (Hispanic and Black), a car accident, Mohinder, Eclipse, and someone else I don't know.
We went on a trip. Me and several friends from college. It was like a school sponsored thing so I can tell it was a dream. Our technical school sponsor a trip? Please.
Anyway, we went out to some small town and there was a cabin which we stayed in. Katy, Armando, and Martin were there with me. There were others but they kind of wandered off to do other stuff and I lost track of them.
Anyway, there was a maze under the cabin. We explored it. And that's where that person I don't know showed up. Maybe he was Basil, he kinda looked like him, and he talked to me. It was a freaky conversation I don't really remember all that well. I just remember that he was asking if it had happened yet.
I said no cause I have no idea what it is.
And then he left. Then we were back in the cabin and the others were going into town. I went to look for a TMNT CD and that's where I met up with the racist couple.
The woman was real rude to me and her husband called me some insulting stuff. Like a bitch, a n****r, and a wet back. And then the woman called me some horrible mix of the two I don;t remember what she said it was kinda like a silent movie by this point and I snapped.
I tore into her.
It terrified me.
I talked to her calmly but the words were so venomous they made her cry. Then I literally beat the shit out of her with the various items in the old fashion store we were standing in and left her to bleed to death in front of her racist buddy, whose arm I had broken sometime during the fray. *I don't want to go into too much detail on what I did*
But it was like it wasn't me. Like I was watching someone with my face do this. The stuff I was saying didn't sound like anything I'd ever say to anyone, even if I am really pissed. And I've reached that point before but I never acted on it or anything.
It was terrifying. Absolutely
The only amusing thing about the dream was that Mohinder came out near the end and asked me for a blood sample.
And then there was a big car accident in my dream. Hundreds of cars piled up on the side of the road on the expressway. For some reason me and several friends from college were on a bus and driving down the only clear lane on the expressway. We saved some of my old friends from high school (that are still in high school) that were on a stranded bus.
Cars were crashing everywhere and a big 18 wheeler nearly hit us.
Hm. I wonder if I have psychological problems.
I think Chavez understood, he kinda sensed I was out of it. Or at least I imagined that anyway. I never can tell with him. He said he liked my design so far so I'm hoping he'll like the finished product and not get on my case for the horrid half assed text I place for the different band information.
I'd draw to clear my head of the dizziness but everything that comes out is decent but not what I want. I have a bunch of ideas but they're just not coming out right on paper.
Dammit.
I should cry. My mind keeps telling me I should. But I just don't have any tears to cry out. Damn bastard.
At least my angst helped me to make a new web layout.
I had a dream, a nightmare really last night, and described it sort of below. I don't recommend you read if your easily distrubed. It freaked me out anyway.
I had a pretty violent dream last night. It involved racism, a woman and a man (married I presume) insulting me because I'm mixed (Hispanic and Black), a car accident, Mohinder, Eclipse, and someone else I don't know.
We went on a trip. Me and several friends from college. It was like a school sponsored thing so I can tell it was a dream. Our technical school sponsor a trip? Please.
Anyway, we went out to some small town and there was a cabin which we stayed in. Katy, Armando, and Martin were there with me. There were others but they kind of wandered off to do other stuff and I lost track of them.
Anyway, there was a maze under the cabin. We explored it. And that's where that person I don't know showed up. Maybe he was Basil, he kinda looked like him, and he talked to me. It was a freaky conversation I don't really remember all that well. I just remember that he was asking if it had happened yet.
I said no cause I have no idea what it is.
And then he left. Then we were back in the cabin and the others were going into town. I went to look for a TMNT CD and that's where I met up with the racist couple.
The woman was real rude to me and her husband called me some insulting stuff. Like a bitch, a n****r, and a wet back. And then the woman called me some horrible mix of the two I don;t remember what she said it was kinda like a silent movie by this point and I snapped.
I tore into her.
It terrified me.
I talked to her calmly but the words were so venomous they made her cry. Then I literally beat the shit out of her with the various items in the old fashion store we were standing in and left her to bleed to death in front of her racist buddy, whose arm I had broken sometime during the fray. *I don't want to go into too much detail on what I did*
But it was like it wasn't me. Like I was watching someone with my face do this. The stuff I was saying didn't sound like anything I'd ever say to anyone, even if I am really pissed. And I've reached that point before but I never acted on it or anything.
It was terrifying. Absolutely
The only amusing thing about the dream was that Mohinder came out near the end and asked me for a blood sample.
And then there was a big car accident in my dream. Hundreds of cars piled up on the side of the road on the expressway. For some reason me and several friends from college were on a bus and driving down the only clear lane on the expressway. We saved some of my old friends from high school (that are still in high school) that were on a stranded bus.
Cars were crashing everywhere and a big 18 wheeler nearly hit us.
Hm. I wonder if I have psychological problems.