Log ; Hiyoshi and Gaku
OOC:
Log between Hiyoshi and Gaku after the Envy incident. :(
Gaku pinches the bridge of his nose and steps from the bedroom, closing the door behind him and wondering if it is a good idea at all to bring up Envy again. But he knows he owes it to Hiyoshi at least. He spies the boy and steps up to him, throwing an easy going smile "How're you doing kid?"
Hiyoshi doesn't stop stretching his leg, testing it out as if he still can't believe it's actually healed, and avoids the older man's gaze. "Well enough, I suppose," he replies, and his voice is polite, perhaps, but if one listened carefully they could easily detect the underlying traces of anger that tinged the light tone.
Gaku's smile freezes on his face but he keeps it there anyway. He's not going to let this get to him, after all - he did what he had too. There wasn't anyway he could've let Envy die and let himself live with the guilt afterwards. This is messed up - he wants to turn around and go back into the other room with Momo, just to smile and laugh and feed him chocolate. But this isn't over yet "Hiyoshi" he starts and closes his mouth again. "... Hiyoshi, what do you know?"
Hiyoshi stops then, and when his gaze meets Gaku's his eyes are fierce and flashing with fury. "You let him live. You gave him stones." His fists ball up at his sides and he growls low in frustration.
Gaku sighs deeply and pulls a chair from his small dining room table, sits backwards on it and rests his chin in his hands. "Did you want to have a murder on your hands?" He says finally, knowing right away that it's probably not going to do any convincing "You're fourteen kid, fifteen maybe - I'm not the most moral person in the world but..." he trails off, unsure of where exactly he's going with that sentence.
Hiyoshi narrows his eyes. "He’s nothing but an empty shell. He's not human, so how could it be murder?" He bows his head down, trying to calm himself, although Envy's comments had gotten to him, and he was scared that maybe-- maybe the homunculus wasn't lying. "No, you're not," he agrees, his face tilting upwards slightly so he can glare at Gaku from underneath his honeyed fringe. "Obviously, if you've got another one my age back there waiting on your bed, ne?"
Gaku clenches his fists and hisses his breath between his teeth. He glances towards the door and then back to Hiyoshi, eyes narrowed "Human or no I did what I did and I can't change it now." He tries to ignore the comment but he can't, because damnit he was not taking this from him "What Momo and I do is of no concern of yours, kid"
Hiyoshi steps forward, and because of Gaku sitting, he towers over the older man, glaring down at him instead. "You let a murderer-- a sick, vile monster live. He hurt my friends, and now? He's going to continue to do so, and it's your fault." He sneers then, his eyes flashing again. "I never said I was concerned, although considering where Momoshiro's been, maybe you should be."
Gaku snaps and bolts upwards out of his chair hands gripping Hiyoshi's shirt "I will take whatever you dish out about Envy, but if you say one. more. word about Momoshiro.." he lets go and steps back, schooling his expression.
He won't hear it. Momo's in his home, behind the door and he won't have this brat saying a single thing about him - not when it's his fault, not when everything is his problem to start with. "... I shouldn't have saved Envy. I couldn't help it - he was dying and I snapped, he's still weak and I still have the stones and he hasn't killed anyone yet..." He knows he's just justifying himself, trying to find loops holes to make his actions understandable.
"That doesn't matter!" Hiyoshi says, his voice jumping up a notch, Envy's comments still fresh in his mind. "He hasn't killed yet, but he could! Just because he's weak...You gave him extra stones so he's not all weak. He can still overpower me!" Hiyoshi stumbles back, his eyes wide and wet with the realization of what he let slip.
"What?" Gaku's heart stops in his chest and he stares at Hiyoshi "...What did you just say?" No, he knows Envy is dangerous, he knows and... Oh damnit if anything happens to Hiyoshi because of his stupid foolish actions then he doesn't know if he'll ever forgive himself.
Hiyoshi shakes his head, looking away, and curses himself for being so stupid. "Just...never mind. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm sorry." He runs a shaky hand through his hair, exhaling long and slow. "I didn't mean what I said about Momoshiro. I was just. I'm so fucking.....frustrated and...shit."
Gaku moves forward and grabs Hiyoshi's shoulders "What did Envy say to you Hiyoshi, what happened? Tell me.. I can't do anything unless you tell me!" He's scared now and he can't shake it. Maybe it was stupider then he thought to bring them both back here, and he realizes that now Momo is here as well. Envy knows where he lives. And he brought them all... he pales and tightens his fingers on Hiyoshi's shoulders.
Hiyoshi's head snaps back up with a gasp as Gaku's hands clutch his shoulders and seeing Gaku's panic, his face paling and losing its color and feeling the older man's body trembling makes him realize..."Momoshiro was right, wasn't he?" he asks, eyes wide as this new revelation pushes the fear and Envy away for a few brief and wonderful moments.
Gaku can't think, he needs to do something and he is in way over his head and what happened to just signing up and meeting new people? None of this was supposed to happen.. "Right about what?" he asks, almost in a daze.
Still in a slight bout of shock, Hiyoshi tries to search his brain for a simple way of explaining it. His eyes meet Gaku's in an intense, heated gaze as he remembers the conversation between them on his journal. "Buchou," he says simply.
Gaku pulls his hands away and stares at him. No, damnit, no he can't deal with this right now. He thinks about Momo in the other room, thinks about everything is still on rocky ground with them and how much he wants for it to work, how much he needs Momo there. But then Hiyoshi is looking at him and he stutters "I don't know what you're talking about... I need to get you both... we need to" he can't concentrate anymore. Damnit, damn kids and their damn complicated lives.
Hiyoshi steps forward slightly-- only slightly-- so that they are almost pressing against each other, and he can feel Gaku's uneven breathe on his face. "I want to know, Gaku. Was Momoshiro right to come after me on my journal with his insecurities about you? About me?"
Gaku turns his face to look at the bedroom door, then back to Hiyoshi - wait, this is all wrong this kid is half his age.. and making him flustered and wanting to run. He growls and turns back, the kid isn't winning. "What do you gain by doing this?" He hisses.
Hiyoshi glares then, his body tensing. "Answers," he replies, "I want to know why you give a shit about me when I don't even know you."
Gaku swallows "I can't give you answers without hurting Momo.. " he's too close, way too close and this isn't fair, this can't be good because he's leaning even closer and his hand has come up before he could force himself to stop. His fingers brush across Hiyoshi's cheek and the contact startles him into remembering why this was a bad idea. He sighs and closes his eyes "damnit"
Hiyoshi's eyelashes flutter against his cheek as his eyes close slightly at the caress. "Don't fucking tease me, Gaku. Please," he breathes. "I...I just want to know. I'm confused and...I need something and I don't know what it is."
"I'm not trying too.. I really.. I'm sorry.. Momo" He is going to have an even bigger mess at the end of this and he knows it, growling in frustration he turns his head away.
Hiyoshi snaps, his eyes gleaming determinedly as he uses his hand to bring Gaku facing him again. "I told you not to tease. Momo is no concern of mine, remember?" he says, right before he lifts his other hand, speedily, and brings Gaku's face to his, crushing their lips together in a brutal, passionate kiss. Hiyoshi runs his tongue along Gaku's lower lip enticingly as his hands weave into the other's hair, and presses his body firm against Gaku's.
Gaku can't believe he let this happen; he's not even sure how this happened. He can only think of Momo in the other room and he makes a choked noise in the back of his throat wanting to push forward and pull away at the same time. He brings his own hands up to pull Hiyoshi's from his hair, to push the boy away because he can't fucking do this but only ends up covering them with his own and moving forward, moving his lips against the boy's and sliding his own tongue against Hiyoshi's. Then it hits him, hits him hard and he jerks back, stumbling over the chair he'd been sitting on previously and staring at Hiyoshi in shock. "Fuck" he curses and brings his hand to cover his mouth "Damnit"
Hiyoshi watches him sadly and shoves his hands in his pockets. "So, Momoshiro was right, then," he says, closing his eyes briefly. he opens them again and licks his lips and he can still taste Gaku there and it disappoints him, but he makes no outward sign of it, only stares blankly. "Maybe you should go. To him, I mean. I need to get ready to leave anyway."
Gaku curses and stares at Hiyoshi "…Why did you do that? What did that do...damnit kid, we're so stupid" he hits his forehead with his closed fist and sighs "I need to tell Momoshiro about this Hiyoshi..."
Hiyoshi shrugs. "Tell him the truth. I kissed you." He shuffles his feet a little, never taking his emotionless gaze from Gaku's. "Let him think of it what he will. Go. Because I'm supposed to be leaving and I won't be able to with you standing there."
".. You might've kissed me Hiyoshi but I didn't stop you" he sighs wearily, looking up with a smile. He straightens himself up and steps back so that he’s directly in front of Hiyoshi, then leans down enough to press a kiss to Hiyoshi's closed lips "I'm sorry"
Hiyoshi stiffens, but doesn't move otherwise. "Go, Gaku. I said not to tease and I meant it. I won't ever kiss you again, unless you want me to. Unless you ask," he says, eyes meeting Gaku's with emotion once more.
Gaku bites down on his tongue. It's not fair to anyone if he even considers it for a second. He has to go, get up and go to Momoshiro, tell him what happened, explain and beg for forgiveness, then take him out for something to eat and explain the Envy situation, find another place for them to stay so that they're safer, ring Soshi... "Kiss me"
Hiyoshi moans softly and recaptures Gaku's lips again, the same fire and passion driving him before present now, in this one. His hands find purchase on Gaku everywhere, his face, his chest, in his hair, as he tries to somehow mesh their bodies together permanently, tries to capture this moment in his memory because he knows it will be the last kiss he and Gaku share, maybe forever, maybe for a week, but he treasures it, nonetheless.
Gaku hates himself even as he responds, even as he pulls Hiyoshi close to him. This can never happen again and he knows it and he hates it, hates what this is going to do to Momo and oh damn he wants to cry but he's bigger then that and oh damnit he needs to get away, he needs to stop this right now, needs to remember how Momo smells and tastes and moves and not how Hiyoshi is touching him like he's going to die if they stop. He breaks the kiss, and curses under his breath "Damnit.. fuck... I have to... Hiyoshi" His voice cracks and he turns "...I didn't... I'll be back; I have to see Momoshiro... I'm sorry... I'll be .. “He turns on his heel and has to stop himself from running straight to the door and locking himself behind it.
Hiyoshi watches him through eyes blurred with tears, until Gaku reaches the door and disappears behind it and sticks his hands back in his pockets. His breath is still coming in uneven pants and his face is still flushed from the overwhelming emotion he's feeling. He draws in a shuddering breath and turns, just in time to see a fist catch him in the temple, and then he falls to black nothingness.
Log between Hiyoshi and Gaku after the Envy incident. :(
Gaku pinches the bridge of his nose and steps from the bedroom, closing the door behind him and wondering if it is a good idea at all to bring up Envy again. But he knows he owes it to Hiyoshi at least. He spies the boy and steps up to him, throwing an easy going smile "How're you doing kid?"
Hiyoshi doesn't stop stretching his leg, testing it out as if he still can't believe it's actually healed, and avoids the older man's gaze. "Well enough, I suppose," he replies, and his voice is polite, perhaps, but if one listened carefully they could easily detect the underlying traces of anger that tinged the light tone.
Gaku's smile freezes on his face but he keeps it there anyway. He's not going to let this get to him, after all - he did what he had too. There wasn't anyway he could've let Envy die and let himself live with the guilt afterwards. This is messed up - he wants to turn around and go back into the other room with Momo, just to smile and laugh and feed him chocolate. But this isn't over yet "Hiyoshi" he starts and closes his mouth again. "... Hiyoshi, what do you know?"
Hiyoshi stops then, and when his gaze meets Gaku's his eyes are fierce and flashing with fury. "You let him live. You gave him stones." His fists ball up at his sides and he growls low in frustration.
Gaku sighs deeply and pulls a chair from his small dining room table, sits backwards on it and rests his chin in his hands. "Did you want to have a murder on your hands?" He says finally, knowing right away that it's probably not going to do any convincing "You're fourteen kid, fifteen maybe - I'm not the most moral person in the world but..." he trails off, unsure of where exactly he's going with that sentence.
Hiyoshi narrows his eyes. "He’s nothing but an empty shell. He's not human, so how could it be murder?" He bows his head down, trying to calm himself, although Envy's comments had gotten to him, and he was scared that maybe-- maybe the homunculus wasn't lying. "No, you're not," he agrees, his face tilting upwards slightly so he can glare at Gaku from underneath his honeyed fringe. "Obviously, if you've got another one my age back there waiting on your bed, ne?"
Gaku clenches his fists and hisses his breath between his teeth. He glances towards the door and then back to Hiyoshi, eyes narrowed "Human or no I did what I did and I can't change it now." He tries to ignore the comment but he can't, because damnit he was not taking this from him "What Momo and I do is of no concern of yours, kid"
Hiyoshi steps forward, and because of Gaku sitting, he towers over the older man, glaring down at him instead. "You let a murderer-- a sick, vile monster live. He hurt my friends, and now? He's going to continue to do so, and it's your fault." He sneers then, his eyes flashing again. "I never said I was concerned, although considering where Momoshiro's been, maybe you should be."
Gaku snaps and bolts upwards out of his chair hands gripping Hiyoshi's shirt "I will take whatever you dish out about Envy, but if you say one. more. word about Momoshiro.." he lets go and steps back, schooling his expression.
He won't hear it. Momo's in his home, behind the door and he won't have this brat saying a single thing about him - not when it's his fault, not when everything is his problem to start with. "... I shouldn't have saved Envy. I couldn't help it - he was dying and I snapped, he's still weak and I still have the stones and he hasn't killed anyone yet..." He knows he's just justifying himself, trying to find loops holes to make his actions understandable.
"That doesn't matter!" Hiyoshi says, his voice jumping up a notch, Envy's comments still fresh in his mind. "He hasn't killed yet, but he could! Just because he's weak...You gave him extra stones so he's not all weak. He can still overpower me!" Hiyoshi stumbles back, his eyes wide and wet with the realization of what he let slip.
"What?" Gaku's heart stops in his chest and he stares at Hiyoshi "...What did you just say?" No, he knows Envy is dangerous, he knows and... Oh damnit if anything happens to Hiyoshi because of his stupid foolish actions then he doesn't know if he'll ever forgive himself.
Hiyoshi shakes his head, looking away, and curses himself for being so stupid. "Just...never mind. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm sorry." He runs a shaky hand through his hair, exhaling long and slow. "I didn't mean what I said about Momoshiro. I was just. I'm so fucking.....frustrated and...shit."
Gaku moves forward and grabs Hiyoshi's shoulders "What did Envy say to you Hiyoshi, what happened? Tell me.. I can't do anything unless you tell me!" He's scared now and he can't shake it. Maybe it was stupider then he thought to bring them both back here, and he realizes that now Momo is here as well. Envy knows where he lives. And he brought them all... he pales and tightens his fingers on Hiyoshi's shoulders.
Hiyoshi's head snaps back up with a gasp as Gaku's hands clutch his shoulders and seeing Gaku's panic, his face paling and losing its color and feeling the older man's body trembling makes him realize..."Momoshiro was right, wasn't he?" he asks, eyes wide as this new revelation pushes the fear and Envy away for a few brief and wonderful moments.
Gaku can't think, he needs to do something and he is in way over his head and what happened to just signing up and meeting new people? None of this was supposed to happen.. "Right about what?" he asks, almost in a daze.
Still in a slight bout of shock, Hiyoshi tries to search his brain for a simple way of explaining it. His eyes meet Gaku's in an intense, heated gaze as he remembers the conversation between them on his journal. "Buchou," he says simply.
Gaku pulls his hands away and stares at him. No, damnit, no he can't deal with this right now. He thinks about Momo in the other room, thinks about everything is still on rocky ground with them and how much he wants for it to work, how much he needs Momo there. But then Hiyoshi is looking at him and he stutters "I don't know what you're talking about... I need to get you both... we need to" he can't concentrate anymore. Damnit, damn kids and their damn complicated lives.
Hiyoshi steps forward slightly-- only slightly-- so that they are almost pressing against each other, and he can feel Gaku's uneven breathe on his face. "I want to know, Gaku. Was Momoshiro right to come after me on my journal with his insecurities about you? About me?"
Gaku turns his face to look at the bedroom door, then back to Hiyoshi - wait, this is all wrong this kid is half his age.. and making him flustered and wanting to run. He growls and turns back, the kid isn't winning. "What do you gain by doing this?" He hisses.
Hiyoshi glares then, his body tensing. "Answers," he replies, "I want to know why you give a shit about me when I don't even know you."
Gaku swallows "I can't give you answers without hurting Momo.. " he's too close, way too close and this isn't fair, this can't be good because he's leaning even closer and his hand has come up before he could force himself to stop. His fingers brush across Hiyoshi's cheek and the contact startles him into remembering why this was a bad idea. He sighs and closes his eyes "damnit"
Hiyoshi's eyelashes flutter against his cheek as his eyes close slightly at the caress. "Don't fucking tease me, Gaku. Please," he breathes. "I...I just want to know. I'm confused and...I need something and I don't know what it is."
"I'm not trying too.. I really.. I'm sorry.. Momo" He is going to have an even bigger mess at the end of this and he knows it, growling in frustration he turns his head away.
Hiyoshi snaps, his eyes gleaming determinedly as he uses his hand to bring Gaku facing him again. "I told you not to tease. Momo is no concern of mine, remember?" he says, right before he lifts his other hand, speedily, and brings Gaku's face to his, crushing their lips together in a brutal, passionate kiss. Hiyoshi runs his tongue along Gaku's lower lip enticingly as his hands weave into the other's hair, and presses his body firm against Gaku's.
Gaku can't believe he let this happen; he's not even sure how this happened. He can only think of Momo in the other room and he makes a choked noise in the back of his throat wanting to push forward and pull away at the same time. He brings his own hands up to pull Hiyoshi's from his hair, to push the boy away because he can't fucking do this but only ends up covering them with his own and moving forward, moving his lips against the boy's and sliding his own tongue against Hiyoshi's. Then it hits him, hits him hard and he jerks back, stumbling over the chair he'd been sitting on previously and staring at Hiyoshi in shock. "Fuck" he curses and brings his hand to cover his mouth "Damnit"
Hiyoshi watches him sadly and shoves his hands in his pockets. "So, Momoshiro was right, then," he says, closing his eyes briefly. he opens them again and licks his lips and he can still taste Gaku there and it disappoints him, but he makes no outward sign of it, only stares blankly. "Maybe you should go. To him, I mean. I need to get ready to leave anyway."
Gaku curses and stares at Hiyoshi "…Why did you do that? What did that do...damnit kid, we're so stupid" he hits his forehead with his closed fist and sighs "I need to tell Momoshiro about this Hiyoshi..."
Hiyoshi shrugs. "Tell him the truth. I kissed you." He shuffles his feet a little, never taking his emotionless gaze from Gaku's. "Let him think of it what he will. Go. Because I'm supposed to be leaving and I won't be able to with you standing there."
".. You might've kissed me Hiyoshi but I didn't stop you" he sighs wearily, looking up with a smile. He straightens himself up and steps back so that he’s directly in front of Hiyoshi, then leans down enough to press a kiss to Hiyoshi's closed lips "I'm sorry"
Hiyoshi stiffens, but doesn't move otherwise. "Go, Gaku. I said not to tease and I meant it. I won't ever kiss you again, unless you want me to. Unless you ask," he says, eyes meeting Gaku's with emotion once more.
Gaku bites down on his tongue. It's not fair to anyone if he even considers it for a second. He has to go, get up and go to Momoshiro, tell him what happened, explain and beg for forgiveness, then take him out for something to eat and explain the Envy situation, find another place for them to stay so that they're safer, ring Soshi... "Kiss me"
Hiyoshi moans softly and recaptures Gaku's lips again, the same fire and passion driving him before present now, in this one. His hands find purchase on Gaku everywhere, his face, his chest, in his hair, as he tries to somehow mesh their bodies together permanently, tries to capture this moment in his memory because he knows it will be the last kiss he and Gaku share, maybe forever, maybe for a week, but he treasures it, nonetheless.
Gaku hates himself even as he responds, even as he pulls Hiyoshi close to him. This can never happen again and he knows it and he hates it, hates what this is going to do to Momo and oh damn he wants to cry but he's bigger then that and oh damnit he needs to get away, he needs to stop this right now, needs to remember how Momo smells and tastes and moves and not how Hiyoshi is touching him like he's going to die if they stop. He breaks the kiss, and curses under his breath "Damnit.. fuck... I have to... Hiyoshi" His voice cracks and he turns "...I didn't... I'll be back; I have to see Momoshiro... I'm sorry... I'll be .. “He turns on his heel and has to stop himself from running straight to the door and locking himself behind it.
Hiyoshi watches him through eyes blurred with tears, until Gaku reaches the door and disappears behind it and sticks his hands back in his pockets. His breath is still coming in uneven pants and his face is still flushed from the overwhelming emotion he's feeling. He draws in a shuddering breath and turns, just in time to see a fist catch him in the temple, and then he falls to black nothingness.