What a day
Well, today was quite an interesting day for me. I woke up, and frankly, it all went downhill from there. I felt horribly depressed all day, and after going on a walk for 30 minutes where I just did some thinking and didn't pay attnention to where I was going, I ended up in the middle of the soccer field at my elementary school. I got back home, went to my [sister's, whos room I've been occupying for about a week now] room, and basically had an emotional breakdown. I cried for a while, tried to find people to talk to, and ended up having text conversations with the two people I needed to explain things to the most. I felt a lot better afterwards, and realised whats been happening in my life, why I've been keeping up with the way things are going, why I'm feeling what I'm feeling, and what I'm going to have to do with the feelings.
I'm going to have to wait this thing out.
It's my only option. I'm not going to stop having these feelings for her until I get my chance to be in a relationship with her. I just have this instinct that because my feelings are so strong for her, that eventually I'm going to get my chance, and something great's going to end up coming out of it. I know, you're all probably thinking, "How can anyone know how they're going to feel in the future?". Well, there's no way to know for sure. But it would seem extremely unfair to me for whatever power, if any, is in control of the universe to have it so my feelings were so strong but nothing would happen with them. Or just that it would turn out this way if there wasn't going to be the relationship I've been longing for for such a long time to reward my patience afterwards.
Man, this is going to be tough, though. They're so happy together. I've never seen either of them happier, in fact. They've got 4 strong months under their belt already, and its just going up hill from here.
I really hope the wait is worth it.
I'm going to have to wait this thing out.
It's my only option. I'm not going to stop having these feelings for her until I get my chance to be in a relationship with her. I just have this instinct that because my feelings are so strong for her, that eventually I'm going to get my chance, and something great's going to end up coming out of it. I know, you're all probably thinking, "How can anyone know how they're going to feel in the future?". Well, there's no way to know for sure. But it would seem extremely unfair to me for whatever power, if any, is in control of the universe to have it so my feelings were so strong but nothing would happen with them. Or just that it would turn out this way if there wasn't going to be the relationship I've been longing for for such a long time to reward my patience afterwards.
Man, this is going to be tough, though. They're so happy together. I've never seen either of them happier, in fact. They've got 4 strong months under their belt already, and its just going up hill from here.
I really hope the wait is worth it.