She had spent over a week now telling herself that she wasn't going to do this, that Elsa wasn't going to be the one to chase Barry down, not when he was the one who kept walking away. But the longer she told herself that, the more it became apparent that whatever was happening now, it was starting to turn into one heck of a holding pattern. And Elsa wasn't so certain, at this point, that Barry was going to be the one to break that pattern.
Besides, she had a bone to pick with him that wasn't entirely about the train wreck that their relationship had become over the course of the spring break.
There was a little flurry of snow in her wake as she approached the warehouse. She was a bundle of nerves, herself. But this had to be done. And if this turned out as badly as all of the other times... Well, at least she'd know where they stood, wouldn't she?
"Hi," she replied, nodding a little as she stepped inside. He was welcome to keep avoiding her eyes. She wasn't going to try to chase them down or anything. "We need to talk."
Obviously.
"And I need to know that we can get through this talk without me seeing your back, because if you walk away from me again, Barry, I'm not going to come back to find out if you'll walk away a fourth time."
Barry nodded in response, his feet seeming to some point of interest for him. "Okay," he said quietly and uncharacteristically. "I won't walk away this time."
He looked up with a sheepish expression on his face. He opened his mouth to try and say something.
That 'sorry' was the first actual apology she'd heard from him since this whole mess began. It was... encouraging, actually, and Elsa nodded.
"I don't expect you to be good at it. I don't expect you to be any better at it than I am. But I would appreciate giving actual conversation a try, even if you don't like where it's going." She pulled in a deep breath, held it for a moment, and then exhaled slowly. "But first, we're going to talk about proper manners when approaching somebody's sister."
Barry's hand immediately connected with his forehead with a very hard smack.
"Fuck. Anna," he groaned. "Yeah. I seriously fucking fail at being an older sib here. I don't know what the fuck happened with me. I know rationally she didn't cause this but I saw her and became a total fucking asshole."
Barry frowned and nodded. "Yeah. Okay. I know. I was a giant fucking asshole to her and I'll make it up to her."
He then took a deep breath.
"And I owe you one too. A real one."
He stood there for a moment fumbling for words. "I'm sorry, Elsa. I know I completely blew this up. I never wanted to put you in this situation. I just... "
The words escaped him again and he could feel his frustration level begin to rise. He kicked the ground a bit in frustration.
"Jesus. Okay. Look. Joker was here before you arrived. He told me to figure out what I really wanted. And you know what I really want? I just want you to be happy. And right now I have no fucking clue how to make that happen. All I know is that I feel like a fucking idiot and I don't know how to fix this."
Elsa sighed a little, shook her head, and held out her hand for his. It was still bare. After she'd thrown her gloves at him, she hadn't really had the heart to pull on the bracelets he'd made for her. Apparently being cranky and stubborn was... somehow a push in... a direction of some sort.
"You could start," she offered, "by not taking it upon yourself to fix everything alone. I am right here. And it's my future, too. Don't you think I should get a say?"
"Yes," he relented. He paused for a moment before tentatively taking her hand, not sure if he was really worthy of holding it. "You do. I just-"
He stopped trying to think of the right words.
"For the past week I've been trying to go through all the probabilities of us together. How we could somehow be together and make it work. I'm not going to lie. It's a long shot. But the one thing I know is I want you to be happy. And when I think about how I feel about you I just want to say fuck probabilities and give us a shot and see what happens."
That was going to be the last time she ever used that word. The last one. But right now, it seemed apt, too.
"But, just because we're willing to give it a shot regardless of probabilities doesn't mean we shouldn't talk over the possibilities that have you most worried in the first place," Elsa added. "I'd rather have you willing but somewhat mollified than willing but scared."
She gave him a pointed look and squeezed his hand before adding, "Trust me, Barry, I know all about the urge to run when I'm afraid of facing something that might be bigger than just me alone."
Barry frowned a little. "In the last week I've come up with about thirty thousand distinct possibilities that worry me most," he replied tentatively. "Maybe we should stick to the overall themes of those possibilities."
"... You might actually worry more than I do," Elsa replied. She sounded impressed, really. "Okay. Themes, then. What are some themes that have been worrying you? Maybe addressing those will put some of those possibilities to rest."
"Well the first might be you get angry at me again, swear and then freeze me to death because you weren't wearing your gloves," he half-joked as he reached out to pick up the pair of gloves she left on the cruise. "By the way can I hear you say 'fuck' again? Because I think twice in two weeks is real breakthrough in our relationship."
Elsa was only blushing a little bit as she reached to take the gloves back. She'd be blushing more, but Anna slowly freezing last week meant that she could picture all too easily what it would be like if she had done the same thing to Barry, only while angry.
"You're never going to hear me say that word again," she informed him, pulling the gloves on one at a time. "This was an extenuating circumstance."
Barry might have pouted a little at that. "Well. At least I know you can say it. And that there might be other extenuating circumstances in the future."
He pause a bit before taking a seat on the couch. "I guess my biggest theme... well shit, let's be honest. My biggest fucking fear is sometime down the road you'll have to get married or do something in the name of Arendelle that will break us up somehow."
He took a deep breath.
"I know how much your country means to you. I thought about it and it would be like me giving up research or science. I can't ask you to give that up for me. I know that."
Besides, she had a bone to pick with him that wasn't entirely about the train wreck that their relationship had become over the course of the spring break.
There was a little flurry of snow in her wake as she approached the warehouse. She was a bundle of nerves, herself. But this had to be done. And if this turned out as badly as all of the other times... Well, at least she'd know where they stood, wouldn't she?
"Open the door, Barry."
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But seeing Elsa as the doors slid open made his feelings go almost everywhere at the same time.
His shoulders slumped a little. He had trouble making eye contact.
He did finally manage to choke out a small "Hey" to her. It wasn't much of a greeting but it was a start.
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Obviously.
"And I need to know that we can get through this talk without me seeing your back, because if you walk away from me again, Barry, I'm not going to come back to find out if you'll walk away a fourth time."
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He looked up with a sheepish expression on his face. He opened his mouth to try and say something.
"I-"
He stopped. Frowned and cursed under his breath.
"Fuck me. I so fucking suck at this. I'm sorry."
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"I don't expect you to be good at it. I don't expect you to be any better at it than I am. But I would appreciate giving actual conversation a try, even if you don't like where it's going." She pulled in a deep breath, held it for a moment, and then exhaled slowly. "But first, we're going to talk about proper manners when approaching somebody's sister."
You were still in shit, Barry! For the record.
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"Fuck. Anna," he groaned. "Yeah. I seriously fucking fail at being an older sib here. I don't know what the fuck happened with me. I know rationally she didn't cause this but I saw her and became a total fucking asshole."
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He'd been so charming with Elsa, after all!
"You know you owe her an apology, then. A real one. I expect you to make it count, big sibling or no, because there is no excuse."
And also because if he didn't, Elsa was going to leave him in a block of ice and dump him over the causeway.
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He then took a deep breath.
"And I owe you one too. A real one."
He stood there for a moment fumbling for words. "I'm sorry, Elsa. I know I completely blew this up. I never wanted to put you in this situation. I just... "
The words escaped him again and he could feel his frustration level begin to rise. He kicked the ground a bit in frustration.
"Jesus. Okay. Look. Joker was here before you arrived. He told me to figure out what I really wanted. And you know what I really want? I just want you to be happy. And right now I have no fucking clue how to make that happen. All I know is that I feel like a fucking idiot and I don't know how to fix this."
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"You could start," she offered, "by not taking it upon yourself to fix everything alone. I am right here. And it's my future, too. Don't you think I should get a say?"
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He stopped trying to think of the right words.
"For the past week I've been trying to go through all the probabilities of us together. How we could somehow be together and make it work. I'm not going to lie. It's a long shot. But the one thing I know is I want you to be happy. And when I think about how I feel about you I just want to say fuck probabilities and give us a shot and see what happens."
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That was going to be the last time she ever used that word. The last one. But right now, it seemed apt, too.
"But, just because we're willing to give it a shot regardless of probabilities doesn't mean we shouldn't talk over the possibilities that have you most worried in the first place," Elsa added. "I'd rather have you willing but somewhat mollified than willing but scared."
She gave him a pointed look and squeezed his hand before adding, "Trust me, Barry, I know all about the urge to run when I'm afraid of facing something that might be bigger than just me alone."
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"You're never going to hear me say that word again," she informed him, pulling the gloves on one at a time. "This was an extenuating circumstance."
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He pause a bit before taking a seat on the couch. "I guess my biggest theme... well shit, let's be honest. My biggest fucking fear is sometime down the road you'll have to get married or do something in the name of Arendelle that will break us up somehow."
He took a deep breath.
"I know how much your country means to you. I thought about it and it would be like me giving up research or science. I can't ask you to give that up for me. I know that."
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