[EXO] [PD10] Close to Home
Title: Close to Home
Fandom: EXO (sort of fused with Final Fantasy VII, plus some geography from FFVIII)
Series: Phoenix Down (#10)
Rating: G
Genre: AU, crossover (sort of)
Wordcount: 2633
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit.
Summary: The most intimate relationship of Minseok's life is with his high-school roommate, but there's more than one way to be intimate.
A/N: In video game terms, this would be the point at the end of disc 3 where you can do all the optional sidequests, or start on the path to finish the game. I'm doing both, but since finishing the fic will take a while, I'm posting a few sidequests in the meantime. This one is Minseok's side of some of the events in So I Don't Have to Dream Alone, and so takes place back when he and Lu Han were living in Esthar. Crossposted to AO3.
Many thanks to MC for making me give this some actual structure. <3
Close to Home
Minseok is many things to many people. Son, brother, nephew, friend, classmate, teammate. What he's never been, and likely never will be, is a boyfriend. Never a husband, never a lover. He doesn't dream about grand romantic gestures, about sweeping some beautiful girl or handsome young man off their feet with a view to falling in love. Romance, he knows, is not for him.
His parents, however, are not entirely convinced of this.
"So when do we get to meet your roommate?" his mother asks after he's been at school in Esthar for over a month and has finally deigned to send his parents a photo of himself with Lu Han, both of them looking perfectly polished in their uniforms. "Is he there with you?" She peers more closely at the camera, trying to see if he's hiding in the corner of the room somewhere.
Minseok shakes his head. "I'm not sure where he is - gone to shower, maybe."
His mother smiles knowingly. "Handsome young man like that probably has somewhere better to be tonight - and you should too. You're in a school of smart, talented, beautiful people, living in one of the most extraordinary cities in the world. Surely you can persuade some pretty young thing to show you the sights?"
Minseok hides his sigh. His mother means well, and he knows she loves him dearly, but she's not exactly subtle and it's not the first time she's hinted that perhaps it's about time he took an interest in girls. (Or boys, possibly, but he's never asked her and outside Dollet, that's not a terribly safe option.)
It's not something he ever discusses with his family. They love him a great deal, he knows that; that kind of love, he can return, and does so eagerly. But the love that shines in his parents' eyes when they gaze at each other and he knows they can't see anyone else...that's a love he's never wanted and he's not terribly interested in exploring why that might be. He's not opposed to it - if it works for other people, that's great, he's happy for them - and he's willing to keep an open mind, should he ever encounter anyone who makes his heart race in a way that signals desire rather than a medical emergency. He just doesn't think it's all that likely.
He's careful not to mention his inclinations - or lack thereof - at his new school, where it seems to be taken for granted that if you breathe, you must fancy a student of the opposite sex, or at least one of the younger teachers. It's all common gossip, in the changing rooms or around the tables in the dining hall. Minseok hears all about it: who likes to sneak into whose dorm after midnight, who was seen walking hand in hand on the skyway over the weekend. When asked his opinion of his female classmates he takes the tactful option, flattering them all in turn and favouring none. It's for the best. He gains a reputation for being charming - not by lying, but he tries to search out something special in each girl, whether it's a particularly warm smile or a kindness shown to others.
No one asks him his opinion on his male classmates, but then, this isn't Dollet, and nobody asks anything. They simply assume. Not about Minseok, who takes care to give away as little of himself as possible, but about Lu Han, who is seemingly oblivious to what everyone else in school thinks they know about him.
"Lu Han's...not very sociable," Minseok says at last, trying to find a way to phrase it that doesn't suggest that Lu Han's more-or-less ostracised by the other students. "He can be pretty quiet, keeps to himself a lot. He's a good guy, though."
He wonders how his mother would react if he told her about his encounter at the end of his first week at school, with Lu Han's former roommate, who'd responded to his innocent question about what Lu Han was like as a roommate with a suggestion that perhaps Minseok would be wise to ask for a transfer just in case. Because surely a decent, wholesome boy like Minseok wouldn't want to share a room with someone who'd been sent away from home by his parents to keep him away from his all-male harem back in Deling City?
Minseok's fairly certain Lu Han doesn't have a harem back home. He seems too shy for that. Anyway, it's none of Minseok's business even if he does, and whenever his classmates try to warn him about Lu Han (his face is too pretty to belong to a boy - he never even looks at girls - he's never sneaked into the girls' dorms before - aren't you worried he'll make a pass at you?) he can only laugh it off, doing his best to dispel their notions about his friend.
He goes exploring in Esthar with Lu Han even though no one else will, the two of them eagerly taking in everything the city has to offer. He talks Lu Han into sitting with their classmates at meals, sometimes, in the hopes of opening up the lines of communication again and getting the others to see that Lu Han's not a threat, not wrong, not some uninvited guest, only kept at their school on sufferance.
It's usually enough. Lu Han's far more at ease with him than with anyone else, comfortable with casual touches and jokes, free to be himself in a way he can't even when he's playing football. He's quiet in class; quieter still outside it, the lone spot of silence in hallways filled with chattering students - at least until Minseok engages him in conversation. Then Lu Han comes to life. Minseok's seen pictures of him back in middle school, happily hanging out with friends. The only pictures he has like that now are ones he takes with Minseok.
"That's a pity." Minseok's mother doesn't push. She trusts his judgement. "Is he too shy to be around the next time you call home? It would be nice to meet him."
"I can ask." Minseok knows, by now, that Lu Han's family is not a close-knit one, and that Lu Han is not keen to communicate with them. Hopefully he'll be more willing to unbend for someone else's family. "You do realise I'm old enough now that you don't have to vet all my friends for me, right?"
"I know, I know." His mother grins, flashing even white teeth in an expression that's part-amused, part-furtive. "But you're going to be living with him for years, so I thought we should at least say hello. Just in case."
Just in case. It's Minseok's new least-favourite phrase. "In case what?"
"Well, he does have that beautifully angelic face, and I've never seen you look so comfortable with someone's arm around your waist as you did in that photo..."
Fortunately for Minseok, his little sister interrupts the call before he has a chance to deny what he thinks his mother's getting at, and then his father wants a turn to talk, and by the time they're done he figures it's easiest to let it slide. There's no danger in letting his parents meet Lu Han. They'll love him. The teachers do, even if the students don't. He knows how to put on a good face for adults. So long as the face in question isn't 'Minseok's future boyfriend', he thinks it'll be okay.
He's not sure if Lu Han's interests even lie in that direction, despite all the gossip. It's true that he never goes on any of the night-time forays into the girls' dorms, and never really talks about girls at all, unlike practically every other male student in the place. But he's never outright said anything about whether or not he's happier in a dorm full of boys, either, surrounded by hard lines and solid muscle, nary a curve in sight. Minseok knows the signs of that, too, having grown up in Dollet, and at first he thinks that perhaps Lu Han's a late bloomer, or possibly like Minseok himself, with no interest in either direction.
The morning after Minseok's first time being summoned, he considers revising that theory. He's pretty sure Lu Han didn't mean to wind up cuddling him in bed that night and morning wood hardly constitutes proof, especially without any kind of follow-up, but it's enough to make Minseok pay more attention.
Lu Han's gaze on him is both fond and intense; his touches, however casual, linger too long for an ordinary friendship between two teenage boys. Lu Han laughs loudest when Minseok's the one telling a joke; willingly offers himself up for hours upon hours in goal when Minseok wants to practise penalty kicks. As friendships go, this is more intense than Minseok's ever known before. Maybe this is simply how Lu Han does friendship and Minseok is merely reading too much into it.
He's used to more obvious approaches, back home, from girls and boys alike. Invitations to school dances, which he'd made a point of turning down because none of his friends had dates for them and it was more fun to go in a group anyway. A trip to the movies with his neighbour, where a friendly arm around Minseok's shoulders had turned out to be a precursor to other body parts attempting to move in on his personal space. An awkward confession of love from one of the girls in his class, made that much worse because he'd been taken completely by surprise. He's not interested in anyone that way, so it never occurs to him that anyone else might want him like that. He tries to be nice about his rejections. He's had the practice, now.
He hopes he never needs that practice for Lu Han.
Anyway, the secrets they share bind them closer than any pair of teenage lovers: instead of sneaking off to dark corners for clandestine trysts, they battle monsters in another world and swap stories afterwards, careful not to let anything slip to others. They don't even squabble much, perhaps because their lives are so entwined that arguing about who borrowed whose shirt without asking is wholly insignificant when viewed alongside far larger struggles. That's how Minseok likes it. Their lives are complicated but their friendship is not.
Mostly.
The journey back to Dollet takes the better part of a day, first by rail and then by sea, and it's not what one would call easy on the budget, either. Minseok had resigned himself, upon moving to Esthar, to only returning home during the long summer break. He assumes Lu Han will do the same - Deling City is further west than Dollet, requiring Lu Han to take another train across Galbadia - but even though most of the students live in Esthar and could therefore easily return home during the shorter breaks, many of them choose not to, opting to stay for the extra classes and sports training camps. In a school of elites, there's always something more that can be learned or practised, and Minseok and Lu Han have no shortage of company over the holidays.
But when summer rolls around, it becomes clear that Lu Han's not planning on going home at all.
"Six weeks," Minseok says over breakfast, a fortnight before regular classes end for the holidays. "That's plenty of time for a trip home."
Lu Han smiles tightly, shaking his head. "I hope you enjoy the break with your family."
"You're not going home?"
"No point," Lu Han says. "I can disappoint my parents just as easily from here without all the hassle of travelling."
He's said similar things before, about his fractured relationship with his parents, and it's so ingrained in him as a fact of life that he doesn't even sound bitter. It's a million miles away from Minseok's relationship with his own family and he can't imagine being so estranged from them that he'd rather spend the summer holidays in a school with people who largely ignore him than go home. Lu Han never even video calls them, as far as Minseok knows, and just sends them the occasional email to let them know he's still alive.
But even so... "You could go home and be out all the time?" Minseok tries. "Don't you ever miss Deling City?"
Lu Han crumples his napkin into a ball, crushing it between his fingers. "It would be a lonely six weeks. Trust me on this. You go. I'm signing myself up for basketball and by the time you come back-"
Minseok raises his hand to forestall what will inevitably be a diversion all about his roommate's sporting prowess. "You'll be unstoppable. I know, I know," he says, and Lu Han breaks into a grin.
"I just want to prove to the rest of these guys that you don't have to be a giant to win."
"Shame you can't show up in your armour," Minseok says, keeping his voice low so the girls at the next table can't catch his words. "One look at you and they'd all run away screaming."
"Can you imagine the crash if I got hit by the ball, though?"
Minseok can, quite easily, and his laughter sets Lu Han off, jaw distending so far it threatens to unhinge. Lu Han's laughter is never pretty but it's always enthusiastic; Minseok knows that if he ever laughs in such a way that his face retains his sweet, boyish - and not demented - beauty, it's obviously feigned, with no genuine amusement there at all. Like when they're in a group and one of the other students cracks a joke or tells a funny story. Lu Han's laughter is polite, then, and careful.
It's sad to think that Lu Han's summer will pass this way, with brief, polite exchanges and false smiles shared with people who couldn't care less if he goes home for the holidays or not. He'll be alone again while Minseok will be laughing and joking with his family, catching up with his old friends, enjoying the sights and sounds of the harbour. Perhaps by the time school starts up again, Lu Han will have retreated into his shell, locking himself down further still to keep from being hurt.
When he thinks about it like that, Minseok realises that his decision to go home, while the obvious choice, is one that he's not going to stick to. Maybe next summer, if things have improved by that point, but he'll wait until then to evaluate the situation. His family love him and he loves them right back, but they don't need him, not the way Lu Han does, and even if they don't understand his reasons for staying they'll accept them, because they know he wouldn't make such a decision to hurt them.
"I can't let you get better than me while I'm away," Minseok says casually, like this has been his intention all along and there's nothing spur-of-the-moment about it. "You can sign us both up for basketball."
"Huh?" Lu Han gapes in surprise. "I thought you were going home?"
"It would be great, but..." Minseok shrugs. "Next year, maybe. It's an expensive round trip and my parents spent a lot to send me here in the first place. They've got my sister's schooling to pay for too."
"I was kind of looking forward to having the room to myself again for a while, but I guess it's okay if you stay too." Lu Han's teasing, but the light in his eyes says he's pleased.
"You can always use another good man on your 'shorter than six feet' basketball team, right?"
Lu Han holds up his fist; Minseok bumps it lightly with his own. "Always."
Fandom: EXO (sort of fused with Final Fantasy VII, plus some geography from FFVIII)
Series: Phoenix Down (#10)
Rating: G
Genre: AU, crossover (sort of)
Wordcount: 2633
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit.
Summary: The most intimate relationship of Minseok's life is with his high-school roommate, but there's more than one way to be intimate.
A/N: In video game terms, this would be the point at the end of disc 3 where you can do all the optional sidequests, or start on the path to finish the game. I'm doing both, but since finishing the fic will take a while, I'm posting a few sidequests in the meantime. This one is Minseok's side of some of the events in So I Don't Have to Dream Alone, and so takes place back when he and Lu Han were living in Esthar. Crossposted to AO3.
Many thanks to MC for making me give this some actual structure. <3
Close to Home
Minseok is many things to many people. Son, brother, nephew, friend, classmate, teammate. What he's never been, and likely never will be, is a boyfriend. Never a husband, never a lover. He doesn't dream about grand romantic gestures, about sweeping some beautiful girl or handsome young man off their feet with a view to falling in love. Romance, he knows, is not for him.
His parents, however, are not entirely convinced of this.
"So when do we get to meet your roommate?" his mother asks after he's been at school in Esthar for over a month and has finally deigned to send his parents a photo of himself with Lu Han, both of them looking perfectly polished in their uniforms. "Is he there with you?" She peers more closely at the camera, trying to see if he's hiding in the corner of the room somewhere.
Minseok shakes his head. "I'm not sure where he is - gone to shower, maybe."
His mother smiles knowingly. "Handsome young man like that probably has somewhere better to be tonight - and you should too. You're in a school of smart, talented, beautiful people, living in one of the most extraordinary cities in the world. Surely you can persuade some pretty young thing to show you the sights?"
Minseok hides his sigh. His mother means well, and he knows she loves him dearly, but she's not exactly subtle and it's not the first time she's hinted that perhaps it's about time he took an interest in girls. (Or boys, possibly, but he's never asked her and outside Dollet, that's not a terribly safe option.)
It's not something he ever discusses with his family. They love him a great deal, he knows that; that kind of love, he can return, and does so eagerly. But the love that shines in his parents' eyes when they gaze at each other and he knows they can't see anyone else...that's a love he's never wanted and he's not terribly interested in exploring why that might be. He's not opposed to it - if it works for other people, that's great, he's happy for them - and he's willing to keep an open mind, should he ever encounter anyone who makes his heart race in a way that signals desire rather than a medical emergency. He just doesn't think it's all that likely.
He's careful not to mention his inclinations - or lack thereof - at his new school, where it seems to be taken for granted that if you breathe, you must fancy a student of the opposite sex, or at least one of the younger teachers. It's all common gossip, in the changing rooms or around the tables in the dining hall. Minseok hears all about it: who likes to sneak into whose dorm after midnight, who was seen walking hand in hand on the skyway over the weekend. When asked his opinion of his female classmates he takes the tactful option, flattering them all in turn and favouring none. It's for the best. He gains a reputation for being charming - not by lying, but he tries to search out something special in each girl, whether it's a particularly warm smile or a kindness shown to others.
No one asks him his opinion on his male classmates, but then, this isn't Dollet, and nobody asks anything. They simply assume. Not about Minseok, who takes care to give away as little of himself as possible, but about Lu Han, who is seemingly oblivious to what everyone else in school thinks they know about him.
"Lu Han's...not very sociable," Minseok says at last, trying to find a way to phrase it that doesn't suggest that Lu Han's more-or-less ostracised by the other students. "He can be pretty quiet, keeps to himself a lot. He's a good guy, though."
He wonders how his mother would react if he told her about his encounter at the end of his first week at school, with Lu Han's former roommate, who'd responded to his innocent question about what Lu Han was like as a roommate with a suggestion that perhaps Minseok would be wise to ask for a transfer just in case. Because surely a decent, wholesome boy like Minseok wouldn't want to share a room with someone who'd been sent away from home by his parents to keep him away from his all-male harem back in Deling City?
Minseok's fairly certain Lu Han doesn't have a harem back home. He seems too shy for that. Anyway, it's none of Minseok's business even if he does, and whenever his classmates try to warn him about Lu Han (his face is too pretty to belong to a boy - he never even looks at girls - he's never sneaked into the girls' dorms before - aren't you worried he'll make a pass at you?) he can only laugh it off, doing his best to dispel their notions about his friend.
He goes exploring in Esthar with Lu Han even though no one else will, the two of them eagerly taking in everything the city has to offer. He talks Lu Han into sitting with their classmates at meals, sometimes, in the hopes of opening up the lines of communication again and getting the others to see that Lu Han's not a threat, not wrong, not some uninvited guest, only kept at their school on sufferance.
It's usually enough. Lu Han's far more at ease with him than with anyone else, comfortable with casual touches and jokes, free to be himself in a way he can't even when he's playing football. He's quiet in class; quieter still outside it, the lone spot of silence in hallways filled with chattering students - at least until Minseok engages him in conversation. Then Lu Han comes to life. Minseok's seen pictures of him back in middle school, happily hanging out with friends. The only pictures he has like that now are ones he takes with Minseok.
"That's a pity." Minseok's mother doesn't push. She trusts his judgement. "Is he too shy to be around the next time you call home? It would be nice to meet him."
"I can ask." Minseok knows, by now, that Lu Han's family is not a close-knit one, and that Lu Han is not keen to communicate with them. Hopefully he'll be more willing to unbend for someone else's family. "You do realise I'm old enough now that you don't have to vet all my friends for me, right?"
"I know, I know." His mother grins, flashing even white teeth in an expression that's part-amused, part-furtive. "But you're going to be living with him for years, so I thought we should at least say hello. Just in case."
Just in case. It's Minseok's new least-favourite phrase. "In case what?"
"Well, he does have that beautifully angelic face, and I've never seen you look so comfortable with someone's arm around your waist as you did in that photo..."
Fortunately for Minseok, his little sister interrupts the call before he has a chance to deny what he thinks his mother's getting at, and then his father wants a turn to talk, and by the time they're done he figures it's easiest to let it slide. There's no danger in letting his parents meet Lu Han. They'll love him. The teachers do, even if the students don't. He knows how to put on a good face for adults. So long as the face in question isn't 'Minseok's future boyfriend', he thinks it'll be okay.
He's not sure if Lu Han's interests even lie in that direction, despite all the gossip. It's true that he never goes on any of the night-time forays into the girls' dorms, and never really talks about girls at all, unlike practically every other male student in the place. But he's never outright said anything about whether or not he's happier in a dorm full of boys, either, surrounded by hard lines and solid muscle, nary a curve in sight. Minseok knows the signs of that, too, having grown up in Dollet, and at first he thinks that perhaps Lu Han's a late bloomer, or possibly like Minseok himself, with no interest in either direction.
The morning after Minseok's first time being summoned, he considers revising that theory. He's pretty sure Lu Han didn't mean to wind up cuddling him in bed that night and morning wood hardly constitutes proof, especially without any kind of follow-up, but it's enough to make Minseok pay more attention.
Lu Han's gaze on him is both fond and intense; his touches, however casual, linger too long for an ordinary friendship between two teenage boys. Lu Han laughs loudest when Minseok's the one telling a joke; willingly offers himself up for hours upon hours in goal when Minseok wants to practise penalty kicks. As friendships go, this is more intense than Minseok's ever known before. Maybe this is simply how Lu Han does friendship and Minseok is merely reading too much into it.
He's used to more obvious approaches, back home, from girls and boys alike. Invitations to school dances, which he'd made a point of turning down because none of his friends had dates for them and it was more fun to go in a group anyway. A trip to the movies with his neighbour, where a friendly arm around Minseok's shoulders had turned out to be a precursor to other body parts attempting to move in on his personal space. An awkward confession of love from one of the girls in his class, made that much worse because he'd been taken completely by surprise. He's not interested in anyone that way, so it never occurs to him that anyone else might want him like that. He tries to be nice about his rejections. He's had the practice, now.
He hopes he never needs that practice for Lu Han.
Anyway, the secrets they share bind them closer than any pair of teenage lovers: instead of sneaking off to dark corners for clandestine trysts, they battle monsters in another world and swap stories afterwards, careful not to let anything slip to others. They don't even squabble much, perhaps because their lives are so entwined that arguing about who borrowed whose shirt without asking is wholly insignificant when viewed alongside far larger struggles. That's how Minseok likes it. Their lives are complicated but their friendship is not.
Mostly.
The journey back to Dollet takes the better part of a day, first by rail and then by sea, and it's not what one would call easy on the budget, either. Minseok had resigned himself, upon moving to Esthar, to only returning home during the long summer break. He assumes Lu Han will do the same - Deling City is further west than Dollet, requiring Lu Han to take another train across Galbadia - but even though most of the students live in Esthar and could therefore easily return home during the shorter breaks, many of them choose not to, opting to stay for the extra classes and sports training camps. In a school of elites, there's always something more that can be learned or practised, and Minseok and Lu Han have no shortage of company over the holidays.
But when summer rolls around, it becomes clear that Lu Han's not planning on going home at all.
"Six weeks," Minseok says over breakfast, a fortnight before regular classes end for the holidays. "That's plenty of time for a trip home."
Lu Han smiles tightly, shaking his head. "I hope you enjoy the break with your family."
"You're not going home?"
"No point," Lu Han says. "I can disappoint my parents just as easily from here without all the hassle of travelling."
He's said similar things before, about his fractured relationship with his parents, and it's so ingrained in him as a fact of life that he doesn't even sound bitter. It's a million miles away from Minseok's relationship with his own family and he can't imagine being so estranged from them that he'd rather spend the summer holidays in a school with people who largely ignore him than go home. Lu Han never even video calls them, as far as Minseok knows, and just sends them the occasional email to let them know he's still alive.
But even so... "You could go home and be out all the time?" Minseok tries. "Don't you ever miss Deling City?"
Lu Han crumples his napkin into a ball, crushing it between his fingers. "It would be a lonely six weeks. Trust me on this. You go. I'm signing myself up for basketball and by the time you come back-"
Minseok raises his hand to forestall what will inevitably be a diversion all about his roommate's sporting prowess. "You'll be unstoppable. I know, I know," he says, and Lu Han breaks into a grin.
"I just want to prove to the rest of these guys that you don't have to be a giant to win."
"Shame you can't show up in your armour," Minseok says, keeping his voice low so the girls at the next table can't catch his words. "One look at you and they'd all run away screaming."
"Can you imagine the crash if I got hit by the ball, though?"
Minseok can, quite easily, and his laughter sets Lu Han off, jaw distending so far it threatens to unhinge. Lu Han's laughter is never pretty but it's always enthusiastic; Minseok knows that if he ever laughs in such a way that his face retains his sweet, boyish - and not demented - beauty, it's obviously feigned, with no genuine amusement there at all. Like when they're in a group and one of the other students cracks a joke or tells a funny story. Lu Han's laughter is polite, then, and careful.
It's sad to think that Lu Han's summer will pass this way, with brief, polite exchanges and false smiles shared with people who couldn't care less if he goes home for the holidays or not. He'll be alone again while Minseok will be laughing and joking with his family, catching up with his old friends, enjoying the sights and sounds of the harbour. Perhaps by the time school starts up again, Lu Han will have retreated into his shell, locking himself down further still to keep from being hurt.
When he thinks about it like that, Minseok realises that his decision to go home, while the obvious choice, is one that he's not going to stick to. Maybe next summer, if things have improved by that point, but he'll wait until then to evaluate the situation. His family love him and he loves them right back, but they don't need him, not the way Lu Han does, and even if they don't understand his reasons for staying they'll accept them, because they know he wouldn't make such a decision to hurt them.
"I can't let you get better than me while I'm away," Minseok says casually, like this has been his intention all along and there's nothing spur-of-the-moment about it. "You can sign us both up for basketball."
"Huh?" Lu Han gapes in surprise. "I thought you were going home?"
"It would be great, but..." Minseok shrugs. "Next year, maybe. It's an expensive round trip and my parents spent a lot to send me here in the first place. They've got my sister's schooling to pay for too."
"I was kind of looking forward to having the room to myself again for a while, but I guess it's okay if you stay too." Lu Han's teasing, but the light in his eyes says he's pleased.
"You can always use another good man on your 'shorter than six feet' basketball team, right?"
Lu Han holds up his fist; Minseok bumps it lightly with his own. "Always."