[JE] [FAIRY] Amphibious Adventurers
Title: Amphibious Adventurers
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, twisted fairy tale, crack, fluff
Word count: 1500
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit
Summary: Of course the frog Kame and Jin find in their back garden has to be enchanted.
A/N: Once upon a time, I wrote a fic for solo____ and jo_lasalle in response to their prompt, and Solo's favourite line was, "First you take the frog..." Well, this is a little sequel snippet in which Kame and Jin, now questing partners, find themselves having to deal with an enchanted frog. Happy birthday, Solo!
Crossposted to AO3
Amphibious Adventurers
As a seasoned adventurer, Kame felt he ought to be able to deal with any unexpected situations that came his way. That giant who'd wanted to eat him, for instance, until Kame had explained that he wasn't actually an Englishman, he just liked Union Jack accessories. Or that time he'd received a request to rescue a girl from an arranged marriage, only to find she stood no taller than his thumb. (Not being especially blessed in the height department himself, Kame felt a particular kinship with those on the petite side.)
But in all his years on the job, the one thing he'd never had to deal with was an enchanted friend. (Jin didn't count, since Kame hadn't technically befriended him at the time.)
"Are you sure you know this guy?" Jin asked, eyeing the frog suspiciously. "I know you've got some weird friends, but-"
"It's definitely Yamapi," Kame said firmly. "I'd know those eyes anywhere. Besides, this is the first time we've had a frog appear in the garden. Why else would he be here if he didn't want us to help him? We don't even have a pond."
Jin shrugged. "As long as I don't have to kiss him."
In the year that had passed since Kame had saved Jin from eternal sleep and a really bad hair day, the two men had formed a solid - if not always smooth - partnership, both in the field and in the bedroom, and Jin's enthusiasm for questing had more than made up for his lack of experience. But of course as the junior partner, he had to go through all the same trials as Kame had in his own early days, and that meant getting stuck with some of the less pleasant tasks. Mucking out the unicorn's stable, for example, or searching through the pockets of corpses for stolen jewels. Kissing a frog clearly fell into the same category.
"I'm pretty sure we don't have to kiss him." Kame didn't relish the thought either. "I think we're supposed to get him blessed."
"By?"
"No idea." Kame gave his partner an embarrassed smile. "I should've let Koki finish giving me the advice when I was trying to wake you. And I'm not even sure if that was just for princes, or if it applies to any enchanted man."
Alas, Kame's former roommate was off on a quest of his own, and unreachable while at sea. Nakamaru, the most bookish of their loose circle of adventurers, had teamed up with him for the venture and thus was also unavailable, as was Junno, on whose boat they'd set sail. Ueda, who possessed enough arcane knowledge to terrify seven sorcerers, had travelled abroad to do just that and what with the time difference, Kame felt it would be rather impolite to call him right now, when he would most certainly be asleep.
That left Kame and Jin rummaging through every book of lore in the house, searching for a way to restore enchanted frogs to their proper forms. The frog watched them from the windowsill, croaking plaintively whenever they got distracted from their task - Jin by the latest issue of Mermaids Monthly, Kame by the baseball game playing on the radio, Giants vs. Tigers.
"This one says we're supposed to chop off his head with an axe." Jin set a thick red book down on the table; the frog leapt up and down in great agitation. "I guess we should leave that as a last resort."
"This one says we have to start by feeding him." Kame added a pink book to the pile. The frog liked this idea a lot better, its croaks sounding almost encouraging.
"Let's go with that," Jin said. "How do you think frogs feel about pickled radish and chilli oil?"
"We're trying to remove the enchantment, not make him explode," Kame pointed out. "I'll get him some bread and milk."
"I thought that was for hedgehogs..."
The frog supped on a couple of slices of roast beef, turning his back on Kame's attempts to feed him first bread and then a mild curry; Kame also tried tomatoes, but the frog shied violently away, hiding behind a pot plant at the very sight of them. Not fond of tomatoes himself, Kame didn't blame him. Jin continued to leaf through the book, concluding that the frog also required alcohol.
"Are you sure that's not for you?"
"It says so right here, look!" Jin pointed to a paragraph where the frog, in a record documented by his future father-in-law, demanded wine.
Privately, Kame thought his expensive wine collection would be somewhat wasted on a creature so small. Nevertheless, he cracked open a bottle, splitting it between himself and the frog because wine made Jin sick. Jin stuck to beer, and by the time it occurred to them to check the book to see what to do next, they were all cheerfully tipsy, the frog hopping around in small circles on the coffee table while the other two snuggled on the couch.
"Silk sheets," Kame declared after another peek at the book. "This says he needs a bed of silk."
"My sheets," Jin mourned. "They'll be all slimy."
"We can wash them tomorrow." Kame settled himself more comfortably against Jin's shoulder. "It's not like we don't mess up your sheets on a regular basis, anyway."
"Mmm," Jin hummed in agreement. "It says here we also need a girl."
"I don't think we're going to get one to come out here at this time of night. Besides, if it's Yamapi, he wouldn't be interested."
"What do you mean, 'if'? I thought you were sure?"
"Well...he liked the meat, but I've never seen him react so violently to tomatoes before. It's like he dreaded the sight of them or something. Still," Kame considered, "I don't see him that often. Maybe he has an allergy he never told me about. "
"And maybe we've brought a strange frog into our house and he's going to murder us both while we sleep."
"It's more likely to be the other way around."
"Huh?"
Kame ran his finger along the final line on the page. "We're supposed to be sharing a bed. Try not to move too much when you're asleep, will you? I'm not sure I've got a detergent strong enough to get squished frog out of your sheets."
Despite Jin's protests, Kame managed to wrangle both him and the frog into bed, aided largely by the fact that both had imbibed rather too much and the frog was hardly in a good position to put up a fight. Kame placed him carefully at the end of the bed, where he was less likely to get rolled on in the middle of the night.
"If the book's right, he'll be human by morning," Kame explained. "Or we have to do this for another two nights. Or chop off his head. One princess managed to have some success by throwing her frog into a wall. But let's try this first. "
"I hope your friend's a sound sleeper," Jin said. "Because if not, he's going to be in a very awkward position when he wakes up..."
It was a much quieter night in their bedroom than usual, what with the interloper perched at the end of the bed, and they shared little more than a sloppy goodnight kiss before drifting off to sleep. Out of consideration for the frog, Kame had eschewed his customary nocturnal nudity for nightclothes. He'd shared a bed with Yamapi before, very briefly, during their first quest together, though that had been for purely practical reasons. He hoped, therefore, that his friend wouldn't be too upset at waking up at the foot of the bed, likely a witness to them draped all over each other. (No matter how far apart they began at night, morning inevitably found Jin cuddling up to Kame with a grip any scorpion would envy.)
Kame woke first, his sleep-clouded mind vaguely registering the solid, fleshy lump pressed up against his bare feet. It definitely wasn't a frog. He elbowed Jin gently, trying to get enough slack to sit up. Jin mumbled something incoherent into Kame's hair and loosened his grip; Kame wriggled free, drawing up his legs to give Yamapi some space.
Except that Yamapi didn't have hair like that, did he? And Yamapi didn't have the character for 'spring' tattooed on his back, either. Kame only knew one man who did...
"Did it work?" Jin whispered, now slightly more awake and moving his legs away from the sleeping figure at the end of the bed. "Kame? Why do you look like you just got scouted to play for the Giants?"
Kame couldn't stop grinning, almost giddy with excitement, but managed to keep his voice low out of respect for other people's sleep. "Because that's not Yamapi."
"Then who is it?"
"That's the man who inspired me to become an adventurer in the first place - Kimura Takuya."
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, twisted fairy tale, crack, fluff
Word count: 1500
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit
Summary: Of course the frog Kame and Jin find in their back garden has to be enchanted.
A/N: Once upon a time, I wrote a fic for solo____ and jo_lasalle in response to their prompt, and Solo's favourite line was, "First you take the frog..." Well, this is a little sequel snippet in which Kame and Jin, now questing partners, find themselves having to deal with an enchanted frog. Happy birthday, Solo!
Crossposted to AO3
Amphibious Adventurers
As a seasoned adventurer, Kame felt he ought to be able to deal with any unexpected situations that came his way. That giant who'd wanted to eat him, for instance, until Kame had explained that he wasn't actually an Englishman, he just liked Union Jack accessories. Or that time he'd received a request to rescue a girl from an arranged marriage, only to find she stood no taller than his thumb. (Not being especially blessed in the height department himself, Kame felt a particular kinship with those on the petite side.)
But in all his years on the job, the one thing he'd never had to deal with was an enchanted friend. (Jin didn't count, since Kame hadn't technically befriended him at the time.)
"Are you sure you know this guy?" Jin asked, eyeing the frog suspiciously. "I know you've got some weird friends, but-"
"It's definitely Yamapi," Kame said firmly. "I'd know those eyes anywhere. Besides, this is the first time we've had a frog appear in the garden. Why else would he be here if he didn't want us to help him? We don't even have a pond."
Jin shrugged. "As long as I don't have to kiss him."
In the year that had passed since Kame had saved Jin from eternal sleep and a really bad hair day, the two men had formed a solid - if not always smooth - partnership, both in the field and in the bedroom, and Jin's enthusiasm for questing had more than made up for his lack of experience. But of course as the junior partner, he had to go through all the same trials as Kame had in his own early days, and that meant getting stuck with some of the less pleasant tasks. Mucking out the unicorn's stable, for example, or searching through the pockets of corpses for stolen jewels. Kissing a frog clearly fell into the same category.
"I'm pretty sure we don't have to kiss him." Kame didn't relish the thought either. "I think we're supposed to get him blessed."
"By?"
"No idea." Kame gave his partner an embarrassed smile. "I should've let Koki finish giving me the advice when I was trying to wake you. And I'm not even sure if that was just for princes, or if it applies to any enchanted man."
Alas, Kame's former roommate was off on a quest of his own, and unreachable while at sea. Nakamaru, the most bookish of their loose circle of adventurers, had teamed up with him for the venture and thus was also unavailable, as was Junno, on whose boat they'd set sail. Ueda, who possessed enough arcane knowledge to terrify seven sorcerers, had travelled abroad to do just that and what with the time difference, Kame felt it would be rather impolite to call him right now, when he would most certainly be asleep.
That left Kame and Jin rummaging through every book of lore in the house, searching for a way to restore enchanted frogs to their proper forms. The frog watched them from the windowsill, croaking plaintively whenever they got distracted from their task - Jin by the latest issue of Mermaids Monthly, Kame by the baseball game playing on the radio, Giants vs. Tigers.
"This one says we're supposed to chop off his head with an axe." Jin set a thick red book down on the table; the frog leapt up and down in great agitation. "I guess we should leave that as a last resort."
"This one says we have to start by feeding him." Kame added a pink book to the pile. The frog liked this idea a lot better, its croaks sounding almost encouraging.
"Let's go with that," Jin said. "How do you think frogs feel about pickled radish and chilli oil?"
"We're trying to remove the enchantment, not make him explode," Kame pointed out. "I'll get him some bread and milk."
"I thought that was for hedgehogs..."
The frog supped on a couple of slices of roast beef, turning his back on Kame's attempts to feed him first bread and then a mild curry; Kame also tried tomatoes, but the frog shied violently away, hiding behind a pot plant at the very sight of them. Not fond of tomatoes himself, Kame didn't blame him. Jin continued to leaf through the book, concluding that the frog also required alcohol.
"Are you sure that's not for you?"
"It says so right here, look!" Jin pointed to a paragraph where the frog, in a record documented by his future father-in-law, demanded wine.
Privately, Kame thought his expensive wine collection would be somewhat wasted on a creature so small. Nevertheless, he cracked open a bottle, splitting it between himself and the frog because wine made Jin sick. Jin stuck to beer, and by the time it occurred to them to check the book to see what to do next, they were all cheerfully tipsy, the frog hopping around in small circles on the coffee table while the other two snuggled on the couch.
"Silk sheets," Kame declared after another peek at the book. "This says he needs a bed of silk."
"My sheets," Jin mourned. "They'll be all slimy."
"We can wash them tomorrow." Kame settled himself more comfortably against Jin's shoulder. "It's not like we don't mess up your sheets on a regular basis, anyway."
"Mmm," Jin hummed in agreement. "It says here we also need a girl."
"I don't think we're going to get one to come out here at this time of night. Besides, if it's Yamapi, he wouldn't be interested."
"What do you mean, 'if'? I thought you were sure?"
"Well...he liked the meat, but I've never seen him react so violently to tomatoes before. It's like he dreaded the sight of them or something. Still," Kame considered, "I don't see him that often. Maybe he has an allergy he never told me about. "
"And maybe we've brought a strange frog into our house and he's going to murder us both while we sleep."
"It's more likely to be the other way around."
"Huh?"
Kame ran his finger along the final line on the page. "We're supposed to be sharing a bed. Try not to move too much when you're asleep, will you? I'm not sure I've got a detergent strong enough to get squished frog out of your sheets."
Despite Jin's protests, Kame managed to wrangle both him and the frog into bed, aided largely by the fact that both had imbibed rather too much and the frog was hardly in a good position to put up a fight. Kame placed him carefully at the end of the bed, where he was less likely to get rolled on in the middle of the night.
"If the book's right, he'll be human by morning," Kame explained. "Or we have to do this for another two nights. Or chop off his head. One princess managed to have some success by throwing her frog into a wall. But let's try this first. "
"I hope your friend's a sound sleeper," Jin said. "Because if not, he's going to be in a very awkward position when he wakes up..."
It was a much quieter night in their bedroom than usual, what with the interloper perched at the end of the bed, and they shared little more than a sloppy goodnight kiss before drifting off to sleep. Out of consideration for the frog, Kame had eschewed his customary nocturnal nudity for nightclothes. He'd shared a bed with Yamapi before, very briefly, during their first quest together, though that had been for purely practical reasons. He hoped, therefore, that his friend wouldn't be too upset at waking up at the foot of the bed, likely a witness to them draped all over each other. (No matter how far apart they began at night, morning inevitably found Jin cuddling up to Kame with a grip any scorpion would envy.)
Kame woke first, his sleep-clouded mind vaguely registering the solid, fleshy lump pressed up against his bare feet. It definitely wasn't a frog. He elbowed Jin gently, trying to get enough slack to sit up. Jin mumbled something incoherent into Kame's hair and loosened his grip; Kame wriggled free, drawing up his legs to give Yamapi some space.
Except that Yamapi didn't have hair like that, did he? And Yamapi didn't have the character for 'spring' tattooed on his back, either. Kame only knew one man who did...
"Did it work?" Jin whispered, now slightly more awake and moving his legs away from the sleeping figure at the end of the bed. "Kame? Why do you look like you just got scouted to play for the Giants?"
Kame couldn't stop grinning, almost giddy with excitement, but managed to keep his voice low out of respect for other people's sleep. "Because that's not Yamapi."
"Then who is it?"
"That's the man who inspired me to become an adventurer in the first place - Kimura Takuya."