August 29th--Away from Home
It's odd thinking that a year ago everything was so incredibly wrong and uncertain. What strikes me now is how little information we had, how little we could say for sure and the ways we coped with that uncertainty, either by quickly finding something stable (such as finding a school or job) or by tuning out, or by relying on friends and family. In Baton Rouge, we stared at the television and saw the same snaps over and over, each time the camera never getting to the neighborhoods we wanted to see. We heard the stories and waited as the city flooded.
I'm away from home now, and this time, I'm allowed to go into guy's rooms and don't have to be in the dorm for 10 (indeed, I stayed out until around 3:00 last night). It is at the point right now where one still introduces oneself to everyone one sees, assured in the fact that every name said will be forgotten in approximately 30 seconds. Everyone is quite nice; still, it is rather awkward for me for small reasons.
One of the first questions asked by most people is "Where are you from?" which is a fair question. It serves as a diving board for shallow conversations that last longer than 20 seconds and it can be interesting (especially when you talk to international students). The problem comes in my response. When I say New Orleans, I can already see whoever I'm talking to's reaction. There's a sort of shock mixed with sympathy.
Suddenly, a shallow conversation that will lead to an acquaintance turns into someone being sympathetic or someone asking me broad open ended questions about my home. I don't mind talking about New Orleans, but the problem comes in that I don't get to find out anything about them. I don't really make that acquaintance. Rather, they hear about something they are partially jaded to by the news, then we stop talking.
The other problem I have is less obvious. It occurs when I do make friends, when we start talking about random things and recounting random experiences. We don't realize in New Orleans how our conversations center around Katrina. Even when we talk about something like potatoes, the conversation will still manage to bring in how the potatoes at someone's house got flooded or how one ate potatoes while away after the hurricane. This makes sense--after all, Katrina radically affected our lives for the past year. The thing is that its hard to tell funny anecdotes now; most that happened recently require some sort of Katrina reference in order to be understood. But if the hurricane is brought up, suddenly nothing (even teachers from LSMSA or getting lost somewhere or parental conflicts gone terribly awry) can seem funny because people are so weirded out that I mentioned Katrina. And this happens over and over and over.
I think it'll get better as the year progresses and classes start. Then we'll have things other than "where are you from?" and "what dorm are you in?" to start conversations. We'll also have a frame of reference and activities that can include conversations not centered on the past.
I miss home. I miss being there, I miss not weirding people out unintentionally (at least, weirding them out unintentionally without mentioning genocide). I wish I could have been there today especially; not that many people here notice what today today is (although there's a big sign that says "Remember New Orleans and the Gulf Coast---One Year, Still Rebuilding" and it makes me really happy).
Still, I do like it here. My roommate is quite nice, as is everyone else I meet. I refuse to go into detail about that on LJ, but those interested can call or email me, and I'll try to email everyone in the next week.
I'm away from home now, and this time, I'm allowed to go into guy's rooms and don't have to be in the dorm for 10 (indeed, I stayed out until around 3:00 last night). It is at the point right now where one still introduces oneself to everyone one sees, assured in the fact that every name said will be forgotten in approximately 30 seconds. Everyone is quite nice; still, it is rather awkward for me for small reasons.
One of the first questions asked by most people is "Where are you from?" which is a fair question. It serves as a diving board for shallow conversations that last longer than 20 seconds and it can be interesting (especially when you talk to international students). The problem comes in my response. When I say New Orleans, I can already see whoever I'm talking to's reaction. There's a sort of shock mixed with sympathy.
Suddenly, a shallow conversation that will lead to an acquaintance turns into someone being sympathetic or someone asking me broad open ended questions about my home. I don't mind talking about New Orleans, but the problem comes in that I don't get to find out anything about them. I don't really make that acquaintance. Rather, they hear about something they are partially jaded to by the news, then we stop talking.
The other problem I have is less obvious. It occurs when I do make friends, when we start talking about random things and recounting random experiences. We don't realize in New Orleans how our conversations center around Katrina. Even when we talk about something like potatoes, the conversation will still manage to bring in how the potatoes at someone's house got flooded or how one ate potatoes while away after the hurricane. This makes sense--after all, Katrina radically affected our lives for the past year. The thing is that its hard to tell funny anecdotes now; most that happened recently require some sort of Katrina reference in order to be understood. But if the hurricane is brought up, suddenly nothing (even teachers from LSMSA or getting lost somewhere or parental conflicts gone terribly awry) can seem funny because people are so weirded out that I mentioned Katrina. And this happens over and over and over.
I think it'll get better as the year progresses and classes start. Then we'll have things other than "where are you from?" and "what dorm are you in?" to start conversations. We'll also have a frame of reference and activities that can include conversations not centered on the past.
I miss home. I miss being there, I miss not weirding people out unintentionally (at least, weirding them out unintentionally without mentioning genocide). I wish I could have been there today especially; not that many people here notice what today today is (although there's a big sign that says "Remember New Orleans and the Gulf Coast---One Year, Still Rebuilding" and it makes me really happy).
Still, I do like it here. My roommate is quite nice, as is everyone else I meet. I refuse to go into detail about that on LJ, but those interested can call or email me, and I'll try to email everyone in the next week.