Happy Birthday to Me
**Belated obviously. Goes along with the evil!Sam semi canon storyline.
[Things I did on my birthday this year]
Spent the day and night in the basement in chains.
Said hateful things to my girlfriend.
Did not see my brother.
Broke my girlfriend’s neck
Twice
Listened to previously mentioned girlfriend read Twilight out loud as punishment.
Cursed Edward Cullen
Tried to kill Stephenie Meyers with my brain from a distance.
Obviously it was a very special day.
[Things I did on my birthday this year]
Spent the day and night in the basement in chains.
Said hateful things to my girlfriend.
Did not see my brother.
Broke my girlfriend’s neck
Twice
Listened to previously mentioned girlfriend read Twilight out loud as punishment.
Cursed Edward Cullen
Tried to kill Stephenie Meyers with my brain from a distance.
Obviously it was a very special day.