Listen to the bells [Its hard to believe we need a place called hell]
”Nuh huh, Dean, I can’t do it. You gotta come with me.”
“You never shut up. How is this any different?” Dean lobs back at me.
“It’s in front of the whole school! They’ll all be watching.” There’s a whine to my voice and I can’t stop fidgeting.
“Because you’re a giant freak. Of course they’ll be watching. Everybody watches you. Gotta tell you, Sammich, you’re growing into a Sasquatch.” He starts tossing Cheerios at me and one pings me in the forehead.
“Ow!”
Dean rolls his eyes and shoves some Cheerios in his mouth. “Look, I’ll help you write some friggin’ note cards for you to read off. You get up there, you imagine everyone in their underwear and you read the note cards. If I have time, I’ll go stand in the back of the class room and watch you fall on your giant face. Stop being a bitch about it.”
And just like that, having Dean there made everything better
Sam wakes up with a gasp, sweat beading on his skin. There’s a sharp elbow in his side as Ruby shifts in the bed next to him. He reaches over and pinches her hard enough to leave a mark on her skin. One side of her body, the side that had been pressed against him was warm. He knows the other side of her body is cool.
In response to the pinch she turns over, catching him in the nose with her knee.
“Fuckwad,” she mumbles without ever opening her eyes and he’s never really sure if she’s awake or just pretending to be asleep so that he’ll leave her the hell alone. His nose is bleeding and he’s not going back to sleep so he gets out of bed. He can’t get his mind off the memory his subconscious played for him and he wonders if having Dean here would make this all better or if he’s too far gone. Sometimes he doesn’t know and sometimes he doesn’t care.
He glances at Ruby still lying in bed and knows if he wanted to be an asshole he could hurt her enough to wake her up and shove her ass in the Impala. Instead he grabs the bible shoved in the nightstand drawer and rips a page out. It’s got revelations on one side and it’s blank on the other. A smirk twitches the corners of his lips as he sits down to scribble the letter.
Dean,
Remember when I was trying out for the soccer team but I needed to be faster so you and I came up with this workout program that basically consisted of you driving the Impala next to me and blaring Eye of the Tiger while you were yelling at me to move my lazy ass. You kept telling me ‘Come on, Sammy! You can do this. You’re strong.”
You know what, that time, you were right. You were right a lot when I was growing up. In fact, even later, you were right a lot. I didn’t really ever tell you that but you know what? Remember when you told me I could do this without you? That I was stronger than you.
You were wrong. Just thought I’d take the time to let you know that. The one time that it counted more than anything else in the world, you were wrong.
It’s falling apart, Dean. I’m falling apart and I don’t know how to put this all back together. I know you want to look at Ruby and blame her but she doesn’t like the direction I’ve taken anymore than anyone else. Sure…sometimes she likes the killing but it bothers her that it doesn’t bother me. I’ve disappointed her. All that potential I had, I took and threw it away when you died. I can cause a hundred different kinds of pain and I don’t even flinch at the sacrifice of virgins anymore. I’ve got Lilith running and everyone else scared shitless and no one except Ruby sees what’s really at the heart of it all.
I just want my brother back.
And you’re a selfish asshole. The truth is you didn’t care if I was strong enough to do this without you. You just didn’t want to do it without me.
You know, the thing about being the Anti-Christ, you get enough demons/ people/Hell, scared of you and eventually someone gives you what you want.
I want my brother back.
And when I get you back, I’m not giving you the fucking Lucky Charms.
Jerk,
Sam
When he finally wakes Ruby up its second hand, via the fire alarms going off. He’s burning the letter in the bath tub and the fire alarm is screaming. She watches him from the doorway, leaning against the frame, disgust curling her features.
“You are such a moron,” she says, rolling her eyes as she turns on the ball of her foot and starts out the room. “I’ll be in the Impala when you’re through channeling your inner pyro.”
“You never shut up. How is this any different?” Dean lobs back at me.
“It’s in front of the whole school! They’ll all be watching.” There’s a whine to my voice and I can’t stop fidgeting.
“Because you’re a giant freak. Of course they’ll be watching. Everybody watches you. Gotta tell you, Sammich, you’re growing into a Sasquatch.” He starts tossing Cheerios at me and one pings me in the forehead.
“Ow!”
Dean rolls his eyes and shoves some Cheerios in his mouth. “Look, I’ll help you write some friggin’ note cards for you to read off. You get up there, you imagine everyone in their underwear and you read the note cards. If I have time, I’ll go stand in the back of the class room and watch you fall on your giant face. Stop being a bitch about it.”
And just like that, having Dean there made everything better
Sam wakes up with a gasp, sweat beading on his skin. There’s a sharp elbow in his side as Ruby shifts in the bed next to him. He reaches over and pinches her hard enough to leave a mark on her skin. One side of her body, the side that had been pressed against him was warm. He knows the other side of her body is cool.
In response to the pinch she turns over, catching him in the nose with her knee.
“Fuckwad,” she mumbles without ever opening her eyes and he’s never really sure if she’s awake or just pretending to be asleep so that he’ll leave her the hell alone. His nose is bleeding and he’s not going back to sleep so he gets out of bed. He can’t get his mind off the memory his subconscious played for him and he wonders if having Dean here would make this all better or if he’s too far gone. Sometimes he doesn’t know and sometimes he doesn’t care.
He glances at Ruby still lying in bed and knows if he wanted to be an asshole he could hurt her enough to wake her up and shove her ass in the Impala. Instead he grabs the bible shoved in the nightstand drawer and rips a page out. It’s got revelations on one side and it’s blank on the other. A smirk twitches the corners of his lips as he sits down to scribble the letter.
Dean,
Remember when I was trying out for the soccer team but I needed to be faster so you and I came up with this workout program that basically consisted of you driving the Impala next to me and blaring Eye of the Tiger while you were yelling at me to move my lazy ass. You kept telling me ‘Come on, Sammy! You can do this. You’re strong.”
You know what, that time, you were right. You were right a lot when I was growing up. In fact, even later, you were right a lot. I didn’t really ever tell you that but you know what? Remember when you told me I could do this without you? That I was stronger than you.
You were wrong. Just thought I’d take the time to let you know that. The one time that it counted more than anything else in the world, you were wrong.
It’s falling apart, Dean. I’m falling apart and I don’t know how to put this all back together. I know you want to look at Ruby and blame her but she doesn’t like the direction I’ve taken anymore than anyone else. Sure…sometimes she likes the killing but it bothers her that it doesn’t bother me. I’ve disappointed her. All that potential I had, I took and threw it away when you died. I can cause a hundred different kinds of pain and I don’t even flinch at the sacrifice of virgins anymore. I’ve got Lilith running and everyone else scared shitless and no one except Ruby sees what’s really at the heart of it all.
I just want my brother back.
And you’re a selfish asshole. The truth is you didn’t care if I was strong enough to do this without you. You just didn’t want to do it without me.
You know, the thing about being the Anti-Christ, you get enough demons/ people/Hell, scared of you and eventually someone gives you what you want.
I want my brother back.
And when I get you back, I’m not giving you the fucking Lucky Charms.
Jerk,
Sam
When he finally wakes Ruby up its second hand, via the fire alarms going off. He’s burning the letter in the bath tub and the fire alarm is screaming. She watches him from the doorway, leaning against the frame, disgust curling her features.
“You are such a moron,” she says, rolling her eyes as she turns on the ball of her foot and starts out the room. “I’ll be in the Impala when you’re through channeling your inner pyro.”