[Peter backs away, until the backs of his knees meet the arm of the couch and he slumps to sit down on it, burying his face in his hands. He tries to breathe, tries to calm himself before he accidentally breaks something from not being able to restrain his full strength, but he knows he's shaking, he knows the tears have made their way down his face, even from under his hands, and he doesn't quite know how to make any of this seem right in his head. She was dead, for so long, and he recalled only a woman that touched his face, someone from pictures that smiled back at him whenever he looked at the photographs, someone that was absent in the worst possible way, as with the father he was still so angry at. How could any of this ever be fixed to seem normal and right?
He drags his hands through his hair, looking over at both women, something of a mix of anger and anguish on his face. He can't quite cope with looking for too long, it hurts too much, but he can't bring himself not to stare.] You were-- you're dead. How can you just not be dead anymore?
[It's like trying to compute the idea of 1 + 1 = 3. It doesn't add up, it isn't logical, and it gives you more in the end than you should have. Peter lets out a shaking breath and gets to his feet.] Aunt May, you knew? All along? Or just since sh-she decided to show up tonight?
[Approaching slowly, Peter looks at the woman with almost a confused expression, shaking hands balled into fists to try to stop that shaking.] You... why? Why now? Why not when Uncle Ben died? Why not when I was fifteen and broke my arm? Why not when I was eleven and cracked my head open skateboarding? Why now?
[ He backs away and she retreats in the small step she took. Her blood runs cold as and everything starts to feel heavy. She had wanted a better reunion, but, she knows this is the one that she deserves. How could he be happy to see her after all these years? If anything, she's angry at herself for thinking that he would be happy to see her at all. Although they would never believe her, she does understand how it feels. Her own mother was gone from her world at a very young age... except she never came back. Her head drops slightly, biting on her lip and looking at the floor. ]
'We thought she was dead, Peter.' [ His Aunt moves closer to the scene, ready to act. Ready to remove the woman from her house if she has to. ] 'They told us she died with your father...'
[ Blue eyes raise again to meet Peter's eyes. There's an unsaid guilt in her eyes; a pain that goes so very deep it's hard to see the end of it. Her hands curl around one another as she tries to keep from reaching out to comfort him. Why would he want to be comforted by her? The more questions she asks, the more her expression seems to fall, despite not moving at all. Age and pain show in her eyes, as well as some sort of plea for forgiveness. A plea she doesn't expect ever to be answered.
She swallows, not answering right away. Because, he is right. In every account, accusation and question, he is right. She should have been there to pick him up off his feet; to kiss his wounds; to hold him close from the scary things under the bed. But, she wasn't. Any reason she gives, Helen knows, it won't make up for not being there when he needed her. ]
There are some secrets we have to keep to make sure the ones we love the most in the world are safe. [ The answer is soft, only barely above a whisper. Like a secret made for only two people to hear. ] And, then, there comes a time when it's the right moment to share that secret.
[Staring at her as she answers him, he glances to his aunt as soon as the last word comes. Secret. It's all about secrets, and Aunt May was right. Secrets are never free, they always come with a price. He knows he's paid his price twice for his secret and will probably pay again and again until he's paid his dues or continue to pay for keeping the secret forever. The woman stood before him has let go of her secret and she has paid her price, he knows that. He's still furious with her, but who is he to keep her paying her dues for a secret she's revealed now? She had no child or husband for the entire time they were apart, so she has lost enough, and selfishly, Peter wants her in his life if only because he deserves to have something go right for him.
He won't be able to ever explain it to anyone. Gwen, maybe, would understand, but no one else would grasp the concept of his mother showing up out of the blue. He sighs shakily, reaching to rub the back of his neck, and he looks over to Aunt May once more before he fixes his mother with a solid gaze.] Secrets. Right. [Secrets are something Peter knows more about than most people. Without any other words to say, for now, he just reaches out to hug her, his face tucked against her shoulder, hands clutching at the back of her clothes as he takes a shaking breath. She has the same scent that he remembers from his childhood, she feels safe, warm, like something inside him isn't missing anymore.]
I'm not... that kid anymore, I'm not four years old. A lot's changed. [More than most people can believe, in fact, but he doesn't pull away when he speaks, he just mumbles against her shoulder, not sure he'll ever be able to let go of her now.]
[ The gaze reminds her of his father, but also a bit of herself. He's so very much like Richard in so many ways. All she can think to do is be thankful that he takes after him. Even though it seems that Peter, like herself, carries burdens and weights that no one else should have to. She knows that is a trait she has passed down to him, despite with all her heart, not wanting him to ever have to face the hardships that she has had. Instead, in front of her, is a broken young man who is trying to keep everything from falling apart around him.
Oh, how she understands that.
The embrace takes her by surprise, but she quickly wraps her arms around him. He may not be four years old anymore, but, he is still her son. He is still that boy who wanted to be like his father and ran around the house with his glasses. No age could change that. One hand comes up and rests on the top of his head as she kisses it. Her arms tighten comfortably around him, as if trying to shield him from everything that's gone horribly wrong because she wasn't there. Maybe if she kept him close it could make up for everything. Maybe it could make all of that pain fade away. ]
You've grown a few feet since then. [ Her tone is light, like air, trying to make her boy smile. ]
[He can't even stop himself from laughing at that, even if it's almost a nervous laugh, and Peter lifts his head to be able to see his Aunt May, giving her a reassuring smile. She still means as much as she always did, she's still as important as she always has been, only now he has something extra in his life that he feels like he can call his own, a mother that he thought was gone forever is now here, hugging him like no time had even passed, and he can't help but be relieved. He has lost a lot more than he ever should have, but he regained something he knows he'll pay some kind of karmic price for. So long as that price isn't his Aunt May, he's pretty sure he'll handle it, somehow.]
Yeah, Uncle Ben said I got my height from my dad. [He pulls back finally, sniffing a bit and reaching to rub both eyes dry, giving her an awkward grin and standing in an uncertain position, not sure if he should just do what he was planning to do -- grab something to eat, do his homework, go out to ensure Spider-Man wasn't needed -- or if for one night he should let himself be normal again and just stay here and be happy with his Aunt May and his mother.
He fidgets, neatens his shirt, then clears his throat.] Um... I-- did you... uh. What now? [Another awkward grin comes and he looks between both women expectantly.]
Well... not all from your father. [ Without the added height from her shoes, she does stand at 6". Thank you, Ben Parker.
Helen turns her attention to May. The woman is quiet, watching the two with a small smile behind her hand. There will always be an air of disapproval from May, and Helen accepts it. May nods between the two and sits down, folding her hands together and watching over the conversation like the ever watchful lioness. With that in mind, Helen's head turns back to her son with raised eyebrows. ]
I was actually hoping you'd join me for dinner. I imagine there's many questions you'd like answered. [ She pauses and glances back at May. ] That is, if you'd like to. And if your Aunt is alright with you staying out past what should be your bed time.
Yeah, you're-- I guess I get why I always remembered you both as like... giants or something. [He laughs again, then shrugs a bit, looking over at his Aunt when Helen does, and when May nods lightly to them, Peter gives his mother the look of an obstinate child, almost puffing his chest up and very nearly pouting at her.]
Bed time? I don't have a bed time. I'm seventeen, I don't-- Aunt May, did you tell her I have a bed time? [He shakes his head a bit then gives his mother another smile, almost squirming on the spot. He's excited, and for now the anger has faded. It'll rise up again, no doubt, and when he goes to bed later he'll be afraid to sleep in case he wakes up and all of this was a dream, but for now he wants to have back the time that he missed, even if thirteen years is a long time to try to regain.] I've got homework, so I've gotta... I can bring my books, it's not much, I can do it quick.
[Then again, he's hopeful that they go somewhere he won't be severely out of place doing homework. A fancy restaurant might just disapprove of it, after all. Moving to grab his coat and his backpack, Peter gets everything on and ready, at least glad he hasn't heard that tell-tale ringing that drags him away from all kinds of situations.]
It's a somewhat accurate memory. [ There's a soft smile on her face. One that's far away, remembering something that is from another life. One that she buried with her husband. Besides the memories and ghosts, all that remains is the young man in front of her. ]
'I couldn't give you a bed time even if I wanted to.' [ Aunt May says with a pointed and almost knowing look. She casts another look at Helen, as if to say 'you'll have your hands full,' before standing and moving into the kitchen.
Helen turns her attention back to her son, the smile never leaving her face. ] Whichever you prefer, Peter. It's entirely up to you.
[ The destination she has in mind isn't a fancy restaurant. She doesn't want to project an image to him of some life that he hasn't seen or experienced. Though, Helen does know the owner off the restaurant. Then again, who doesn't Helen Magnus know? She folds her hands together and waits for him to be ready before heading to the door. ]
[Peter grins at them both, once he has everything, and he quickly goes to give his Aunt a hug and a kiss to her cheek, promising he'll get his homework done and not stay out too long, and that he'll be quiet when he comes in, but Peter has to hope that, just for tonight, nothing happens that needs Spider-Man's attention. Just for now. Just one night.
Once he is ready, Peter goes to meet his mother at the door, giving her another smile, albeit a more nervous one. He doesn't know what to make of all of this, only that she is a part of something he always wanted back and now he has her he doesn't know what to do with the situation. He just doesn't want to lose anyone else.]
So, where are we going? [He holds the door for her, because his Uncle taught him respect for the women in his life, and closes it behind them, trying not to grin to himself like a five year old with a new toy.]
[ In all honesty, Helen herself isn't entirely sure what will happen from this point on. She wants to show him the Sanctuary, the life that he would have seen if things had not gone so horribly wrong. But, she is very certainly not going to make him chose between herself or May. Even if Peter is her son, she won't take him away from May or from the life that he has here in Queens. She will be there if he ever needs her, and he will know exactly how to get a hold of her if that time ever comes.
A smile spreads over her face as she steps through the door and gently pats him on the shoulder. He's grown up into a fine young man. Ben and May deserve all the credit and she is more than willing to give it to them. There's no doubt in her mind that she couldn't have raised him any better. ]
Have you ever heard of a place called Pizza Classica? [ It's a pizzeria in Queens. She'll be shocked if Peter has never heard of it. It's very casual and a place where people wouldn't raise an eyebrow at a mother and son talking about their day-to-day lives and family business. ]
Oh, yeah! I went there with Gw-- someone the other day, it's great there. [He shrugs a bit, and shoves his hands in his pockets, looking at his feet as he walks with her. He doesn't know if he'll ever be able to tell the adults in his life that he has a girlfriend, because Aunt May coos at him like he's suddenly a child again and he doesn't know how his mom will react. Uncle Ben just embarrassed him, but he supposes that was payback for his poor behaviour at school when it came to humiliating Flash. Things were at least sorted out and calm between them now.]
So... you're... you're British. No one told me my mom was British. I always thought you were from New York like dad. [He shrugs faintly, but he gives her a quick smile, not sure if he was going to cause offence, though he's somewhat relieved she's got the calming aura about her that he always recalled when he tried to think back to her.]
Hey, does this mean I'm half English? That's kinda cool. [Peter knows he's starting to ramble, to keep conversations going, but he's sure it doesn't matter what's said, just that they have the chance to say anything at all to each other.]
With Gw. I see. [ Her eyebrows point up in a playful manner. While she may not know everything about him, she certainly does more know then she'll let on. She's glad he has someone. No doubt she'd tease him about it and ask all sorts of embarrassing questions, but there would also be a smile of approval and being proud that he's found someone.
A small shrug. With the tension gone, she smiles more and tries to be a bit more playful. ] Your aunt and uncle didn't know me very well, Peter. When we did spend time together, I generally used an American accent. [ She moves over to the car she's brought, opening the door for him. Once he settles in the car she closes the door and heads over to the drivers side. Stepping inside it, she adopts the American accent just to show off. And hopefully to get a laugh. ]
You are, yes. I hope that isn't too dumbfounding. [ She hardly minds the rambling at all. ] And, I'm from London, before you ask. I went to Oxford and became a medical doctor.
[Peter wrinkles his nose up, giving her something of an awkward look, shrugging a bit.] Her name's Gwen. She's... a girl from school. [He won't explain fully, all the pain he's caused to Gwen, how he promised to stay away and didn't, how he doesn't know how to stay away, because it's all too much right now, and it'd mean explaining Spider-Man and that's not something he's going to be doing any time soon.
Listening to the explanation, he nods a bit, though he knows at least now that his parents were very secretive people, so it's not too much of a surprise. Even so, he is surprised by the accent when it comes, once they're both in the car, and he laughs a little bit.]
It almost sounds strange on you. It's still pretty cool. [He nods a bit, looking around the car absently. He takes in the details she tells him, eyes roaming over every little thing he can see, as if he can pick up everything about her just by seeing inside her car. It's silly, but he just wants to know her.]
[ A smirk tugs at her face as she starts the car. ] Gwen. I'm certain she's a very lovely girl. And smart, I imagine, given that she's caught your eye. [ Ever mysterious, even to her own son. She could ask May, but, she'd rather Peter tell her about himself and his life. She knows what she needed to in order to find him, but, she didn't delve too far into his life beyond that. ]
I only use it when I need to. [ She drops the accent and slowly backs out of her parking spot. Once they are out on the road, she glances over at Peter again, watching him as he takes in every detail that he can find. The smirk turns into a soft and sad smile as she looks out back over the road with her hand on the stick to switch into different gears as needed. She did bring a present with her, but, Helen is just as nervous as he is. There's a hesitation in her actions around him. As if she's waiting for him to shove her away. ]
What are you interested in? [ It's a blanket question, but it does fill the silence in the car. ] We always thought that you'd follow in your father's footsteps and want to become a geneticist.
She... yeah, she's great. We're in a lot of classes together. [He gives her a quick and uncertain smile, because talking about Gwen is embarrassing. Aunt May handled it well when she spoke with him but Uncle Ben just embarrassed him, and he's not entirely sure where between those two points this woman will actually go, and he doesn't want to make an opening for himself to be teased.]
Like when someone cuts you off in the street? Shout at them "Hey, I'm walkin' here!"? [It's something he shouts often and has heard shouted. They all yell at each other in New York, but he's used to it. It's a loud, busy, crazy city with so much going on that he's sure sometimes everyone forgets anything big has ever happened. A lot of horrible things have happened to this city and he wonders how much of it people actually think about on a daily basis.]
Huh? Oh... yeah, I love science. I just... [Well, he's not so sure about being a geneticist now. Not after everything. That's just going to cause more problems.] I don't know, I mean... I really like photography.
Which ones? [ It's a question that will serve to tell her which classes he is also taking. No doubt it's the required ones, but there are always the electives. Not to mention it might give her a small insight to how the elusive Gwen Stacy thinks. Even without meeting her, Helen is already happy with Gwen. She took the time to notice Peter.
She laughs. ] More along the lines of when I need to hide the fact of who I am to others. [ Even a year after everything, it's not the best idea to shout who she is to the world. The Sanctuary Network has plenty of enemies still. Enemies she wants to keep away from Peter, even if he may have already caught the eye of Oscorp. ]
Photography. [ The glance she gives him is one of surprise, but far from disapproval. Instead she just smiles. It's not a talent she thought he would have, but that is always one of the best parts of being a parent. Learning what makes your child light up and makes them happy. ] Do you already have a camera?
He drags his hands through his hair, looking over at both women, something of a mix of anger and anguish on his face. He can't quite cope with looking for too long, it hurts too much, but he can't bring himself not to stare.] You were-- you're dead. How can you just not be dead anymore?
[It's like trying to compute the idea of 1 + 1 = 3. It doesn't add up, it isn't logical, and it gives you more in the end than you should have. Peter lets out a shaking breath and gets to his feet.] Aunt May, you knew? All along? Or just since sh-she decided to show up tonight?
[Approaching slowly, Peter looks at the woman with almost a confused expression, shaking hands balled into fists to try to stop that shaking.] You... why? Why now? Why not when Uncle Ben died? Why not when I was fifteen and broke my arm? Why not when I was eleven and cracked my head open skateboarding? Why now?
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'We thought she was dead, Peter.' [ His Aunt moves closer to the scene, ready to act. Ready to remove the woman from her house if she has to. ] 'They told us she died with your father...'
[ Blue eyes raise again to meet Peter's eyes. There's an unsaid guilt in her eyes; a pain that goes so very deep it's hard to see the end of it. Her hands curl around one another as she tries to keep from reaching out to comfort him. Why would he want to be comforted by her? The more questions she asks, the more her expression seems to fall, despite not moving at all. Age and pain show in her eyes, as well as some sort of plea for forgiveness. A plea she doesn't expect ever to be answered.
She swallows, not answering right away. Because, he is right. In every account, accusation and question, he is right. She should have been there to pick him up off his feet; to kiss his wounds; to hold him close from the scary things under the bed. But, she wasn't. Any reason she gives, Helen knows, it won't make up for not being there when he needed her. ]
There are some secrets we have to keep to make sure the ones we love the most in the world are safe. [ The answer is soft, only barely above a whisper. Like a secret made for only two people to hear. ] And, then, there comes a time when it's the right moment to share that secret.
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He won't be able to ever explain it to anyone. Gwen, maybe, would understand, but no one else would grasp the concept of his mother showing up out of the blue. He sighs shakily, reaching to rub the back of his neck, and he looks over to Aunt May once more before he fixes his mother with a solid gaze.] Secrets. Right. [Secrets are something Peter knows more about than most people. Without any other words to say, for now, he just reaches out to hug her, his face tucked against her shoulder, hands clutching at the back of her clothes as he takes a shaking breath. She has the same scent that he remembers from his childhood, she feels safe, warm, like something inside him isn't missing anymore.]
I'm not... that kid anymore, I'm not four years old. A lot's changed. [More than most people can believe, in fact, but he doesn't pull away when he speaks, he just mumbles against her shoulder, not sure he'll ever be able to let go of her now.]
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Oh, how she understands that.
The embrace takes her by surprise, but she quickly wraps her arms around him. He may not be four years old anymore, but, he is still her son. He is still that boy who wanted to be like his father and ran around the house with his glasses. No age could change that. One hand comes up and rests on the top of his head as she kisses it. Her arms tighten comfortably around him, as if trying to shield him from everything that's gone horribly wrong because she wasn't there. Maybe if she kept him close it could make up for everything. Maybe it could make all of that pain fade away. ]
You've grown a few feet since then. [ Her tone is light, like air, trying to make her boy smile. ]
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Yeah, Uncle Ben said I got my height from my dad. [He pulls back finally, sniffing a bit and reaching to rub both eyes dry, giving her an awkward grin and standing in an uncertain position, not sure if he should just do what he was planning to do -- grab something to eat, do his homework, go out to ensure Spider-Man wasn't needed -- or if for one night he should let himself be normal again and just stay here and be happy with his Aunt May and his mother.
He fidgets, neatens his shirt, then clears his throat.] Um... I-- did you... uh. What now? [Another awkward grin comes and he looks between both women expectantly.]
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Helen turns her attention to May. The woman is quiet, watching the two with a small smile behind her hand. There will always be an air of disapproval from May, and Helen accepts it. May nods between the two and sits down, folding her hands together and watching over the conversation like the ever watchful lioness. With that in mind, Helen's head turns back to her son with raised eyebrows. ]
I was actually hoping you'd join me for dinner. I imagine there's many questions you'd like answered. [ She pauses and glances back at May. ] That is, if you'd like to. And if your Aunt is alright with you staying out past what should be your bed time.
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Bed time? I don't have a bed time. I'm seventeen, I don't-- Aunt May, did you tell her I have a bed time? [He shakes his head a bit then gives his mother another smile, almost squirming on the spot. He's excited, and for now the anger has faded. It'll rise up again, no doubt, and when he goes to bed later he'll be afraid to sleep in case he wakes up and all of this was a dream, but for now he wants to have back the time that he missed, even if thirteen years is a long time to try to regain.] I've got homework, so I've gotta... I can bring my books, it's not much, I can do it quick.
[Then again, he's hopeful that they go somewhere he won't be severely out of place doing homework. A fancy restaurant might just disapprove of it, after all. Moving to grab his coat and his backpack, Peter gets everything on and ready, at least glad he hasn't heard that tell-tale ringing that drags him away from all kinds of situations.]
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'I couldn't give you a bed time even if I wanted to.' [ Aunt May says with a pointed and almost knowing look. She casts another look at Helen, as if to say 'you'll have your hands full,' before standing and moving into the kitchen.
Helen turns her attention back to her son, the smile never leaving her face. ] Whichever you prefer, Peter. It's entirely up to you.
[ The destination she has in mind isn't a fancy restaurant. She doesn't want to project an image to him of some life that he hasn't seen or experienced. Though, Helen does know the owner off the restaurant. Then again, who doesn't Helen Magnus know? She folds her hands together and waits for him to be ready before heading to the door. ]
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Once he is ready, Peter goes to meet his mother at the door, giving her another smile, albeit a more nervous one. He doesn't know what to make of all of this, only that she is a part of something he always wanted back and now he has her he doesn't know what to do with the situation. He just doesn't want to lose anyone else.]
So, where are we going? [He holds the door for her, because his Uncle taught him respect for the women in his life, and closes it behind them, trying not to grin to himself like a five year old with a new toy.]
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A smile spreads over her face as she steps through the door and gently pats him on the shoulder. He's grown up into a fine young man. Ben and May deserve all the credit and she is more than willing to give it to them. There's no doubt in her mind that she couldn't have raised him any better. ]
Have you ever heard of a place called Pizza Classica? [ It's a pizzeria in Queens. She'll be shocked if Peter has never heard of it. It's very casual and a place where people wouldn't raise an eyebrow at a mother and son talking about their day-to-day lives and family business. ]
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So... you're... you're British. No one told me my mom was British. I always thought you were from New York like dad. [He shrugs faintly, but he gives her a quick smile, not sure if he was going to cause offence, though he's somewhat relieved she's got the calming aura about her that he always recalled when he tried to think back to her.]
Hey, does this mean I'm half English? That's kinda cool. [Peter knows he's starting to ramble, to keep conversations going, but he's sure it doesn't matter what's said, just that they have the chance to say anything at all to each other.]
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A small shrug. With the tension gone, she smiles more and tries to be a bit more playful. ] Your aunt and uncle didn't know me very well, Peter. When we did spend time together, I generally used an American accent. [ She moves over to the car she's brought, opening the door for him. Once he settles in the car she closes the door and heads over to the drivers side. Stepping inside it, she adopts the American accent just to show off. And hopefully to get a laugh. ]
You are, yes. I hope that isn't too dumbfounding. [ She hardly minds the rambling at all. ] And, I'm from London, before you ask. I went to Oxford and became a medical doctor.
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Listening to the explanation, he nods a bit, though he knows at least now that his parents were very secretive people, so it's not too much of a surprise. Even so, he is surprised by the accent when it comes, once they're both in the car, and he laughs a little bit.]
It almost sounds strange on you. It's still pretty cool. [He nods a bit, looking around the car absently. He takes in the details she tells him, eyes roaming over every little thing he can see, as if he can pick up everything about her just by seeing inside her car. It's silly, but he just wants to know her.]
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I only use it when I need to. [ She drops the accent and slowly backs out of her parking spot. Once they are out on the road, she glances over at Peter again, watching him as he takes in every detail that he can find. The smirk turns into a soft and sad smile as she looks out back over the road with her hand on the stick to switch into different gears as needed. She did bring a present with her, but, Helen is just as nervous as he is. There's a hesitation in her actions around him. As if she's waiting for him to shove her away. ]
What are you interested in? [ It's a blanket question, but it does fill the silence in the car. ] We always thought that you'd follow in your father's footsteps and want to become a geneticist.
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Like when someone cuts you off in the street? Shout at them "Hey, I'm walkin' here!"? [It's something he shouts often and has heard shouted. They all yell at each other in New York, but he's used to it. It's a loud, busy, crazy city with so much going on that he's sure sometimes everyone forgets anything big has ever happened. A lot of horrible things have happened to this city and he wonders how much of it people actually think about on a daily basis.]
Huh? Oh... yeah, I love science. I just... [Well, he's not so sure about being a geneticist now. Not after everything. That's just going to cause more problems.] I don't know, I mean... I really like photography.
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She laughs. ] More along the lines of when I need to hide the fact of who I am to others. [ Even a year after everything, it's not the best idea to shout who she is to the world. The Sanctuary Network has plenty of enemies still. Enemies she wants to keep away from Peter, even if he may have already caught the eye of Oscorp. ]
Photography. [ The glance she gives him is one of surprise, but far from disapproval. Instead she just smiles. It's not a talent she thought he would have, but that is always one of the best parts of being a parent. Learning what makes your child light up and makes them happy. ] Do you already have a camera?
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