Trip Down Memory Lane (2/?)
Previous Parts: Part One
Part Two
12th January, 2013
"But why would Red John send you flowers?" Van Pelt asked, furrowing her brow as she did so.
Lisbon sighed. There were reasons why she and Jane had kept their relationship as quiet as feasibly possible. Of course, it was mostly because of the omnipotent threat from Red John, but it was also partially because of the awkward questions that the subject also entailed. The team had always known that she was inordinately fond of Patrick Jane, but they never knew just how deep their feelings ran for one another. Worse, they would have been as oblivious as she was to the fact that he had been her childhood sweetheart, the one she waited desperately to meet year on year. It even took her by surprise just how naïve she had been to realize that Jane had been lying about the identical twin brother back in the day. Now, she had come to terms with it and accepted his motives. She loved him now and a part of her always had. After all, lying was an inherent part of his characteristics and if he hadn't, her father would never have allowed her to get close to him in the first place.
But none of that had stopped her from dreading this very specific conversation. Telling others in lieu of keeping it between the two of them made their current situation feel all the more real. She had always imagined that the day they slipped up, somehow, the secret would have inevitably leaked out to Red John. As much as she implicitly trusted the entirety of her team, the more people who knew, the more likely it was that something could have happened. However, it seemed that even their deathly silence on the subject matter hadn't been enough to stop Red John from finding out anyway. He had eyes and ears everywhere, in the places they least expected. They hadn't told a soul, but he had still discovered their secrets. Now, there was no point in keeping it behind closed doors; if anything, it had to come out in the open so that they understood the severity of her current predicament. It was still difficult, however.
It didn't help having Patrick Jane smirking beside her either. Of course, he had left this announcement to her; she was the boss, it was her job to do it, apparently. None of the team was best pleased about being called into work for an emergency, but Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt had all attended obligingly anyway. Nobody expressed their irritation out loud, out of respect for her, but she couldn't help but feel guilty regardless. They had better places to be and here she and Jane were, panicking over a bunch of plant reproductive organs. It seemed nonsensical, but then, anything to do with Red John seemed like nonsense anyway.
"They're having a thing," Cho answered succinctly, but the look in his eye suggested that he was both surprised that Van Pelt hadn't realized and that he wanted confirmation from them anyway.
"That's one way to describe it," she answered back wryly.
She steeled herself for criticism of hypocrisy and the like. She had been forced to take a stand on Rigsby and Van Pelt's relationship and ultimately felt responsible for them falling apart. Lisbon believed she should have fought Madeleine Hightower for their right to date - and had their relationship been revealed now that Luther Wainwright was in her post, maybe she would have done. Instead, she had backed down to bureaucracy and their love had fizzled out. But now, she was dating a co-worker, just as they had been. Just because the lines were a little more blurry, thanks to Jane's position within the CBI, it didn't make it entirely excusable.
But the criticism never came. Van Pelt smiled warmly, almost in relief that they had both managed to find somebody after so many years alone. Enthusiastically, she told them just how happy she was for them. Even after all of her relationship drama, she was still an eternal romantic - at least when it came to other people. Rigsby merely shrugged his shoulders, mumbling something about being pleased for them too; it was obvious he felt awkward talking about his superior's love life. Cho nodded slightly, accepting it now that he'd had the confirmation he craved, but one look in his eye was enough to see his concern about this development. Of course, it explained everything and that was why he was suddenly worried.
"How did he find out? If we didn't know…?" Rigsby asked tentatively and that was where Lisbon was at a loss.
"We didn't tell you because we didn't want to put you in danger. If you knew, you'd have become targets too," Lisbon explained. Although it was partially the truth, she didn't want to offend them by insinuating that she didn't trust them to keep their secrets.
"Then why are you telling us now?"
"Because he knows anyway," Jane finally said, breaking his silence and actually looking serious now. "He has eyes and ears everywhere. We've kept our relationship behind closed doors, and yet, that wasn't enough. For all we know, he could be watching us right now."
Lisbon shuddered at the very thought. She cast her eyes quickly around the bullpen, desperately trying to seek out anything that appeared out of place. As she did so, she ran her fingertips across the underside of their conference table, trying to feel for any bugs. Before they had arrived at the headquarters this morning, Lisbon had already felt at edge. Jane's words had only served to make her feel all the more nervous. The flowers were a sign - she knew it implied that Red John knew about their shift in relationship status. However, the more important question was whether or not it meant she was his next target. Red John didn't want Jane to be happy, and obviously, she was counterproductive to his plans. What could be worse for him than losing his second chance at love? She hadn't dared to say the words out loud, but Lisbon knew that it would positively destroy Jane if he were to lose her in the same way that he had lost Angela and Charlotte. But she couldn't think that way; she was going to be fine.
In spite of that, Jane continued to thrash out ideas with the others while she drifted into other thoughts. She had to do something, had to be proactive about her current predicament. The last time she had suffered through a sort of living hell, she had made an important change. She left Chicago and the state of Illinois to reclaim her life. Now, she had to do something to save her chance of happiness.
All she knew was that Jane would never approve though. But, she couldn't see it working in any other way.
xxx
1 February 1988
Angela had been so proud of him when Patrick told her he had plucked up the courage to ring Joshua Redding. She had immediately thrown her arms around his waist, kissed him thoroughly and then insisted they went out for dinner together in order to celebrate. He didn't object; it was nice to see her so happy for a change. For the most part, Patrick had believed that his decision to leave the carnival circuit - and take her with him - had made her all the more miserable than if they had simply stayed and stuck with their lot. After all, even though she had objected to the treatment of marks, she had still been treated with the utmost respect. She was a Ruskin, carnival royalty. But, that tag also came with a price, an expectation and that was why she loathed. At least now, he could see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that was in the shining of her crystal blue eyes.
After dinner, they had ended up in the same bed as one another. Jane remembered the look of contentment written over her features as she slept in the early hours of the morning, the way the moon glow illuminated her pale skin. He remembered watching her deal with the elephants late at night, how at peace she had always been around the animals in the carnival. He wished he could give that to her all the time, but he also wished he could quell that little niggle in the back of his mind. A small part of him still didn't want to let go of Teresa Lisbon; it didn't matter that she was still (technically) a child. It didn't matter how little time he'd spent with her. They had a connection, and he was yet to be able to close the door on it.
But now, he was more nervous than he had ever been in his life. He hadn't wanted to go back into the psychic trade; he despised the deceit and the lies. However, after some in-depth discussions with Angela, he came to the conclusion that it wasn't always that way. In part, it was sometimes a case of exposing the truth through his deceit. People trusted the concept of a psychic because they understood what that meant. Reading body language, suggestion, intuition, trickery… they were things that people feared. He still felt uncomfortable though, but like his relationship with Angela, it was something that he could work on in the future. Besides, he was barely employable. His father hadn't put much effort into schooling him; everything that Patrick had learned, he'd picked up here and there. As a consequence, he didn't have many transferable skills, but this, this was something that he knew he could do without really putting much effort into even thinking. He had practically been born with these inabilities; they were innate.
First, he had to get through this interview with Mr. Joshua Redding. He sat outside the office. Patrick had spent the first five minutes scrutinizing the reception area, trying to pick up as many clues as possible about the owner of this building. He got a little information out of it - the man was proud of his achievements, but didn't like to gloat. He was financially secure, but preferred to invest his money in key pieces rather than go for the gaudy. He enjoyed power, but who didn't? Beyond that, though, it was mostly bland; it could have been the office for any type of business. In the end, Patrick resorted to shuffling slightly as he tried to quell his nerves. He wanted to feel useful again, he needed to escape this bubble he had allowed himself to get trapped in. Mostly, Patrick needed to show Angela that he could look after her, and that this was his way of proving it to her. He wouldn't let himself get sucked in too deep; he'd only help out the clients who really needed it. No more false promises for sick children who were inevitably going to die. No more persuading elderly women to include him on their wills. And no more compromising his conscience, like his father had done for all these years. Redding would hopefully be able to put him in contact with the right people to peddle his trade, but he would finally be the one in control of his career. And that, ultimately, was what he had always wanted.
Besides, it provided a distraction from Teresa. Angela was right; it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. The Windy City was a big place, and however long he spent trampling down Chicago's streets, it was still near-on impossible for him to cross paths with her. And anyway, Angela was a good woman; she had been a stable part of his life for so long now. She was good, honest and kind. She knew what to say and when, and how to push him in the right direction. It was about time he accepted what he had and moved on.
But he also had to convince Redding that his skills were saleable. A week ago, he had been horrified about falling back on them. Now, he was pinning all of his hopes of actually having a life once more on it. It was funny just how quickly things could change and again, he pinned it all on Angela. She had been the one to help him see sense. She was the one who got the contact for this manager. She was the one guiding him, just like she always had done. The woman had the patience of a saint.
In the end, he was distracted from his reverie by footsteps. The door swung open and a comparatively short man with nervous eyes, a shock of dark hair - showing signs of hair loss - but dressed in a smart suit approached him, proffering a hand as he did so.
"Mr. Jane? Thank you for coming," the man said and Jane noted the slight lisp in an instant. "I'm Joshua Redding, please, come into my office and we can have a chat."