Vacation Blues (13 + 14/16)
Part Thirteen
They sat together in a companionable silence as they watched the sun set. Lisbon yawned expansively and almost immediately after she felt the gentle touch of Jane's fingers graze against her shoulder blades. She turned to smile briefly at him, something which he reciprocated straight away. It had been a long day, and in truth, Lisbon still wasn't sleeping all that well. Every night, she could feel Jane watching her and she was finding it more disconcerting than she had ever imagined. She wasn't meant to feel this way around him; she was used to him and his idiosyncrasies. Even so, that wasn't enough to stop her irrational thoughts from creeping in.
"You're tired," Jane stated quietly. "You should probably go to sleep."
Lisbon couldn't argue with him on that front. "Yeah, maybe."
"No 'maybe' about it," Jane countered almost immediately. "I'm gonna stay down here for a bit. I'll be quiet when I come up."
"Sure you will."
"When have I lied or misled you or...."
"On this vacation alone?" she interrupted with a smirk. "Not telling me you were going to attempt to break into the Parker family home, getting us involved in this case in the first place, turning up here unannounced without any warning oh and how about not even telling me precisely why you're here at all?"
Jane didn't respond, almost as if he were considering her arguments and figuring out how to counter them. Lisbon tilted her head quizzically as she waited for his answer, but part of her didn't expect one at all. In the end, he started to grin and she couldn't help but do the same. His smile had always been infectious, especially when it was a genuine one. He could always light up the room with his beatific grin.
"You paint me in a very vicious light, Teresa."
"Only stating the truth," she said lightly.
"I think you might have been speaking in hyperbole."
"I may have exaggerated a little for effect," she answered back.
In truth, the only one of Jane's misdemeanors that had really irritated her since arriving in Honolulu was the fact he had broken into the Parker family home. And naturally, that was because it was illegal. In reality, Jane had gotten off incredibly lightly as all he'd had to do to set things straight was apologize to Susan Parker. It was hardly surprising that Jane had been able to see straight through her arguments and to the truth. That, after all, was what he did best. She couldn’t expect anything less of him.
"Anyway," Jane eventually started as he stood up. "You are meant to be going to bed."
"And what are you doing now?" she immediately countered.
He let out a small chuckle and Lisbon frowned. As far as she was concerned, it was a perfectly viable question. She had every right to know what he was up to considering his track record. And besides, even though she was continually reminding herself that she wasn't his boss out here, she still felt responsible for him and his actions. As far as Lisbon was concerned, whatever he did reflected on her one way or another. Naturally, she still had her own personal pride and reputation to uphold, regardless of what her status was in comparison to Jane’s.
"Nothing wrong," he answered back quickly but it did nothing to quell her fears. "Good grief woman, don't you ever get tired of being so suspicious all the while?"
"Not especially. And not when it comes to you," she answered but he quickly sent her a look of distaste. "Okay, okay. I'm going. Just behave, Jane."
"Don't I always?"
"I'm not even going to honor that with a response," she muttered under her breath.
Soon enough, she was in bed, just as she promised. However, from the moment that she slipped between the sheets, her traitorous body had other ideas. She could feel herself beginning to wake up again and she knew it was going to be another long night. After one hour of tossing and turning, she heard Jane creep in as quietly as possible. At least he had tried to keep his promise, she surmised. In silence, she watched as he positioned himself awkwardly on the couch and once more, she began to feel a little guilty. Jane had paid good money for the bed she was currently occupying. Just because the hotel had decided to reimburse her after finding a body in her original room, it didn't mean they had afforded the same luxury to him. Carefully, she sat back up and tossed her hair back over her shoulders and down her back. Lisbon knew Jane was watching her and she didn't care. It was almost the point, after all.
"You're not asleep.”
"Neither are you," she answered with a shrug.
"Am I disturbing you?" Jane asked quietly.
"By trying and failing to sleep on the couch?” she enquired, almost amused by his statement. “No."
“Liar,” he stated.
She couldn’t disagree; she was feeling some level of discomfort from knowing he was watching her each and every move. But then, what had she expected? Lisbon knew that Jane was still a chronic insomniac and she suspected he always would be. What else was he going to do in the dead of the night, when she was asleep? He had enough courtesy to know he had to keep quiet, and that meant most things he could occupy his mind with were out of the question. And besides, they had been tiptoeing around one another for years. When she was asleep, she was at her most exposed, Lisbon knew that. Of course somebody like Jane was going to find her at her most fascinating in such a state. It was simply human nature.
Eventually, she scooted over to the right side of the bed, and patted the space beside her encouragingly. In the half-light, Lisbon could see Jane shooting her a quizzical look. She resisted the temptation to smirk; for somebody so intelligent, Jane could be incredibly dense on occasion. As far as she was concerned, she was making her intentions clear. It was pointless for him to carry on struggling to sleep on the couch when there was plenty of space in the bed. On the first night, she may have made a fuss about not sharing the bed, but now, the guilt was beginning to set in because she’d tossed him out of it. And besides, the argument seemed almost irrelevant now that she thought about it. They were both adults, they both knew how to be sensible. There was nothing wrong with them sharing a bed.
“Are you going to lie there all night or actually join me?” she said, almost snapping at him.
“Teresa-“
“And don’t you dare-“ she started, but Jane interrupted her.
“What? I thought you’d never ask. If you wanted me to share your bed all this time, then all you had to do was say so.”
“Jane!”
“I’m sorry,” he muttered and glanced away. “Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t suggest it if I wasn’t. Just… keep your hands to yourself, okay?”
“Anything you say.”
As she settled back down, her lips curled into a smile. She stoically ensured she faced the wall away from him; she didn’t want to catch his eye just yet. The sound of his breathing and the fact she knew he was so close by soon lulled her into a sleep. Even so, before she drifted off, Lisbon couldn’t help but wonder if this was something that was too risky for them to do. But then, they weren’t doing anything, just trying to get some rest. Weren’t they?
Part Fourteen
In the early hours of the morning, Lisbon awoke to find herself in the cast iron grip of Jane. Despite the strict instructions she had given him, somehow, he had gravitated towards her. She didn't believe for a second that it was intentional; instead, she figured that it had happened when they were both sleeping. After all, he was still dozing and seemed entirely none the wiser about their current predicament. The warmth of his bare arms against her abdomen felt both reassuring and disconcerting. There was something about the closer proximity than usual which changed everything, even if Jane was still fast asleep. For a minute, she laid still, trying to figure out what she was thinking herself, before she decided that she had to move. Then, somewhat awkwardly, Lisbon extracted herself from his clutches and headed straight towards the shower.
Under the warm spray, she found herself analyzing what had happened since she had arrived in Hawaii. Finding the dead body had complicated matters; it had also provided them both with a merciful distraction from whatever was currently simmering between them. But then, there were Jane's actions and attitudes since they had arrived, something which was becoming more and more prominent as each day passed. Even she would have been foolish to deny that he had not only been on his best behavior for the most part, but had also been inexplicably sweeter than usual. And that was what she found most disconcerting.
Once, several years ago now, he'd said he would never be so sophomoric as to seduce her over a meal. He'd also once said that if he ever was going to seduce her, she wouldn't know what had happened until it was over. But then, Jane was a changed man. He was nothing like the shell of a person who had shambled into her life looking like a homeless man in dire need of a shower all those years ago. Naturally, she could only consider that to be a good thing. The Patrick Jane of old was living an unsustainable lifestyle; one which would inevitably land up in death. He had been driven by the unhealthy desire for revenge and unable to move on from the death of his family. Lisbon didn't doubt that he would never entirely get over the guilt he felt for the death of his family; no man ever could. However, that didn't mean he couldn't compartmentalize it, accept what had happened and move on and be happy.
Automatically, Lisbon found herself wondering if his gatecrashing of her vacation was his way of trying to persuade her he was ready to do just that. He’d already explicitly stated that he had chosen to come in order to spend time, alone, with her over the rest of the team. Then, she wondered if he was merely waiting for her to make the first move, especially as they weren't shackled by the restraints of the job while out here. But then, if things changed and if either one of them did make a move, what would happen when they were back in Sacramento? The same rules and guidelines would still apply and there would also be the inevitable awkwardness with the rest of the team.
And then, what if she was entirely wrong? What if he had truly only came out here and endured a dreaded five hour flight purely to indulge in her company as a close friend? There had been times when she had thought maybe he had seen her as something more than a friend; once, he had even told her he loved her, something which they both seemed to pretend had never happened. But then, there were times when they had barely spoken, been so furious with one another that there was the distinct possibility of their friendship having been irreconcilably destroyed. Their relationship had always been complex and even more so since the apprehension of Red John. It was little wonder that Lisbon found herself second guessing his every move and questioning his every motive.
When she got out of the shower, Lisbon found she had a headache developing, most likely from the fact she was stressing herself out thinking about the 'what ifs' and the 'maybes'. She sighed heavily as she toweled herself dry; really, she knew there was only one thing she could do and that was let everything take its own course. If it was going to happen, it inevitably would. And if it wasn't, then at least she could still be grateful to have him in her life at all. That was far better than the alternative.
Once changed, feeling rested and refreshed in spite of the headache, she left the bathroom and saw Jane sitting up on the bed. He smiled warmly at her and she perched on the end of it. She still felt a little awkward and she could tell Jane did too. Still, Lisbon knew that they were going to have to work around this. After all, they had endured much worse than a little minor embarrassment in the past. In comparison, this should be a breeze.
"Morning, sleepyhead," she remarked lightly. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Jane answered. "Thank you."
She furrowed her brows. Once more, she wasn't entirely sure what he was thanking her for. Perhaps, it was one of those ‘general’ phrases, where she could pick and choose what to apply it to. Still, it warmed her spirits considerably. Like apologies, thanks from Patrick Jane were hard to come across. It wasn’t particularly in his nature to show gratitude, not because he felt entitled, but because it showed signs of weakness and a need for the other person in question.
"You slept well."
"Yeah,” he replied and a smile flashed across his face briefly. “I must have needed it."
"Breakfast?" Lisbon asked.
"Let me get changed first."
Like usual, Lisbon was intending to spend the morning on her own. She was vaguely considering making use of the hotel's swimming pool facilities; she still hadn't had the opportunity to take a quick dip in it. But at the same time, she knew that she couldn't leave Jane until she was entirely sure that everything was okay between them. As he changed in the bathroom, she made a mental note to try and rectify things as they ate. It would provide them with an ideal opportunity to actually speak things through, or so she figured.
Breakfast was eaten in the dining room, like usual. It took a little while for them to start talking, but once it did, the conversation flowed as naturally as usual. Quietly, so that the other patrons were unable to hear, Jane discussed his latest developments in the Parker case with her. Last night, when she had been trying to sleep, he had been trying to discover who Susan Parker's mystery lover was. Ever since the first interview with her, he had known she was having an affair. Only now did he have solid evidence which he was intending to hand over to Agent Decosta as soon as possible.
"No," Lisbon muttered when Jane told her the identity. "I don't believe you."
"But it explains why they won't investigate the family despite that being common sense, doesn't it?" Jane replied and even Lisbon couldn't deny the logic in that. "Mrs. Parker took on a toy boy lover in Agent Halligan and all the while, he's been subverting the investigation."
"But the question is, is he responsible or is he covering up for his lover?" Lisbon asked.
To Part Fifteen
They sat together in a companionable silence as they watched the sun set. Lisbon yawned expansively and almost immediately after she felt the gentle touch of Jane's fingers graze against her shoulder blades. She turned to smile briefly at him, something which he reciprocated straight away. It had been a long day, and in truth, Lisbon still wasn't sleeping all that well. Every night, she could feel Jane watching her and she was finding it more disconcerting than she had ever imagined. She wasn't meant to feel this way around him; she was used to him and his idiosyncrasies. Even so, that wasn't enough to stop her irrational thoughts from creeping in.
"You're tired," Jane stated quietly. "You should probably go to sleep."
Lisbon couldn't argue with him on that front. "Yeah, maybe."
"No 'maybe' about it," Jane countered almost immediately. "I'm gonna stay down here for a bit. I'll be quiet when I come up."
"Sure you will."
"When have I lied or misled you or...."
"On this vacation alone?" she interrupted with a smirk. "Not telling me you were going to attempt to break into the Parker family home, getting us involved in this case in the first place, turning up here unannounced without any warning oh and how about not even telling me precisely why you're here at all?"
Jane didn't respond, almost as if he were considering her arguments and figuring out how to counter them. Lisbon tilted her head quizzically as she waited for his answer, but part of her didn't expect one at all. In the end, he started to grin and she couldn't help but do the same. His smile had always been infectious, especially when it was a genuine one. He could always light up the room with his beatific grin.
"You paint me in a very vicious light, Teresa."
"Only stating the truth," she said lightly.
"I think you might have been speaking in hyperbole."
"I may have exaggerated a little for effect," she answered back.
In truth, the only one of Jane's misdemeanors that had really irritated her since arriving in Honolulu was the fact he had broken into the Parker family home. And naturally, that was because it was illegal. In reality, Jane had gotten off incredibly lightly as all he'd had to do to set things straight was apologize to Susan Parker. It was hardly surprising that Jane had been able to see straight through her arguments and to the truth. That, after all, was what he did best. She couldn’t expect anything less of him.
"Anyway," Jane eventually started as he stood up. "You are meant to be going to bed."
"And what are you doing now?" she immediately countered.
He let out a small chuckle and Lisbon frowned. As far as she was concerned, it was a perfectly viable question. She had every right to know what he was up to considering his track record. And besides, even though she was continually reminding herself that she wasn't his boss out here, she still felt responsible for him and his actions. As far as Lisbon was concerned, whatever he did reflected on her one way or another. Naturally, she still had her own personal pride and reputation to uphold, regardless of what her status was in comparison to Jane’s.
"Nothing wrong," he answered back quickly but it did nothing to quell her fears. "Good grief woman, don't you ever get tired of being so suspicious all the while?"
"Not especially. And not when it comes to you," she answered but he quickly sent her a look of distaste. "Okay, okay. I'm going. Just behave, Jane."
"Don't I always?"
"I'm not even going to honor that with a response," she muttered under her breath.
Soon enough, she was in bed, just as she promised. However, from the moment that she slipped between the sheets, her traitorous body had other ideas. She could feel herself beginning to wake up again and she knew it was going to be another long night. After one hour of tossing and turning, she heard Jane creep in as quietly as possible. At least he had tried to keep his promise, she surmised. In silence, she watched as he positioned himself awkwardly on the couch and once more, she began to feel a little guilty. Jane had paid good money for the bed she was currently occupying. Just because the hotel had decided to reimburse her after finding a body in her original room, it didn't mean they had afforded the same luxury to him. Carefully, she sat back up and tossed her hair back over her shoulders and down her back. Lisbon knew Jane was watching her and she didn't care. It was almost the point, after all.
"You're not asleep.”
"Neither are you," she answered with a shrug.
"Am I disturbing you?" Jane asked quietly.
"By trying and failing to sleep on the couch?” she enquired, almost amused by his statement. “No."
“Liar,” he stated.
She couldn’t disagree; she was feeling some level of discomfort from knowing he was watching her each and every move. But then, what had she expected? Lisbon knew that Jane was still a chronic insomniac and she suspected he always would be. What else was he going to do in the dead of the night, when she was asleep? He had enough courtesy to know he had to keep quiet, and that meant most things he could occupy his mind with were out of the question. And besides, they had been tiptoeing around one another for years. When she was asleep, she was at her most exposed, Lisbon knew that. Of course somebody like Jane was going to find her at her most fascinating in such a state. It was simply human nature.
Eventually, she scooted over to the right side of the bed, and patted the space beside her encouragingly. In the half-light, Lisbon could see Jane shooting her a quizzical look. She resisted the temptation to smirk; for somebody so intelligent, Jane could be incredibly dense on occasion. As far as she was concerned, she was making her intentions clear. It was pointless for him to carry on struggling to sleep on the couch when there was plenty of space in the bed. On the first night, she may have made a fuss about not sharing the bed, but now, the guilt was beginning to set in because she’d tossed him out of it. And besides, the argument seemed almost irrelevant now that she thought about it. They were both adults, they both knew how to be sensible. There was nothing wrong with them sharing a bed.
“Are you going to lie there all night or actually join me?” she said, almost snapping at him.
“Teresa-“
“And don’t you dare-“ she started, but Jane interrupted her.
“What? I thought you’d never ask. If you wanted me to share your bed all this time, then all you had to do was say so.”
“Jane!”
“I’m sorry,” he muttered and glanced away. “Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t suggest it if I wasn’t. Just… keep your hands to yourself, okay?”
“Anything you say.”
As she settled back down, her lips curled into a smile. She stoically ensured she faced the wall away from him; she didn’t want to catch his eye just yet. The sound of his breathing and the fact she knew he was so close by soon lulled her into a sleep. Even so, before she drifted off, Lisbon couldn’t help but wonder if this was something that was too risky for them to do. But then, they weren’t doing anything, just trying to get some rest. Weren’t they?
Part Fourteen
In the early hours of the morning, Lisbon awoke to find herself in the cast iron grip of Jane. Despite the strict instructions she had given him, somehow, he had gravitated towards her. She didn't believe for a second that it was intentional; instead, she figured that it had happened when they were both sleeping. After all, he was still dozing and seemed entirely none the wiser about their current predicament. The warmth of his bare arms against her abdomen felt both reassuring and disconcerting. There was something about the closer proximity than usual which changed everything, even if Jane was still fast asleep. For a minute, she laid still, trying to figure out what she was thinking herself, before she decided that she had to move. Then, somewhat awkwardly, Lisbon extracted herself from his clutches and headed straight towards the shower.
Under the warm spray, she found herself analyzing what had happened since she had arrived in Hawaii. Finding the dead body had complicated matters; it had also provided them both with a merciful distraction from whatever was currently simmering between them. But then, there were Jane's actions and attitudes since they had arrived, something which was becoming more and more prominent as each day passed. Even she would have been foolish to deny that he had not only been on his best behavior for the most part, but had also been inexplicably sweeter than usual. And that was what she found most disconcerting.
Once, several years ago now, he'd said he would never be so sophomoric as to seduce her over a meal. He'd also once said that if he ever was going to seduce her, she wouldn't know what had happened until it was over. But then, Jane was a changed man. He was nothing like the shell of a person who had shambled into her life looking like a homeless man in dire need of a shower all those years ago. Naturally, she could only consider that to be a good thing. The Patrick Jane of old was living an unsustainable lifestyle; one which would inevitably land up in death. He had been driven by the unhealthy desire for revenge and unable to move on from the death of his family. Lisbon didn't doubt that he would never entirely get over the guilt he felt for the death of his family; no man ever could. However, that didn't mean he couldn't compartmentalize it, accept what had happened and move on and be happy.
Automatically, Lisbon found herself wondering if his gatecrashing of her vacation was his way of trying to persuade her he was ready to do just that. He’d already explicitly stated that he had chosen to come in order to spend time, alone, with her over the rest of the team. Then, she wondered if he was merely waiting for her to make the first move, especially as they weren't shackled by the restraints of the job while out here. But then, if things changed and if either one of them did make a move, what would happen when they were back in Sacramento? The same rules and guidelines would still apply and there would also be the inevitable awkwardness with the rest of the team.
And then, what if she was entirely wrong? What if he had truly only came out here and endured a dreaded five hour flight purely to indulge in her company as a close friend? There had been times when she had thought maybe he had seen her as something more than a friend; once, he had even told her he loved her, something which they both seemed to pretend had never happened. But then, there were times when they had barely spoken, been so furious with one another that there was the distinct possibility of their friendship having been irreconcilably destroyed. Their relationship had always been complex and even more so since the apprehension of Red John. It was little wonder that Lisbon found herself second guessing his every move and questioning his every motive.
When she got out of the shower, Lisbon found she had a headache developing, most likely from the fact she was stressing herself out thinking about the 'what ifs' and the 'maybes'. She sighed heavily as she toweled herself dry; really, she knew there was only one thing she could do and that was let everything take its own course. If it was going to happen, it inevitably would. And if it wasn't, then at least she could still be grateful to have him in her life at all. That was far better than the alternative.
Once changed, feeling rested and refreshed in spite of the headache, she left the bathroom and saw Jane sitting up on the bed. He smiled warmly at her and she perched on the end of it. She still felt a little awkward and she could tell Jane did too. Still, Lisbon knew that they were going to have to work around this. After all, they had endured much worse than a little minor embarrassment in the past. In comparison, this should be a breeze.
"Morning, sleepyhead," she remarked lightly. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Jane answered. "Thank you."
She furrowed her brows. Once more, she wasn't entirely sure what he was thanking her for. Perhaps, it was one of those ‘general’ phrases, where she could pick and choose what to apply it to. Still, it warmed her spirits considerably. Like apologies, thanks from Patrick Jane were hard to come across. It wasn’t particularly in his nature to show gratitude, not because he felt entitled, but because it showed signs of weakness and a need for the other person in question.
"You slept well."
"Yeah,” he replied and a smile flashed across his face briefly. “I must have needed it."
"Breakfast?" Lisbon asked.
"Let me get changed first."
Like usual, Lisbon was intending to spend the morning on her own. She was vaguely considering making use of the hotel's swimming pool facilities; she still hadn't had the opportunity to take a quick dip in it. But at the same time, she knew that she couldn't leave Jane until she was entirely sure that everything was okay between them. As he changed in the bathroom, she made a mental note to try and rectify things as they ate. It would provide them with an ideal opportunity to actually speak things through, or so she figured.
Breakfast was eaten in the dining room, like usual. It took a little while for them to start talking, but once it did, the conversation flowed as naturally as usual. Quietly, so that the other patrons were unable to hear, Jane discussed his latest developments in the Parker case with her. Last night, when she had been trying to sleep, he had been trying to discover who Susan Parker's mystery lover was. Ever since the first interview with her, he had known she was having an affair. Only now did he have solid evidence which he was intending to hand over to Agent Decosta as soon as possible.
"No," Lisbon muttered when Jane told her the identity. "I don't believe you."
"But it explains why they won't investigate the family despite that being common sense, doesn't it?" Jane replied and even Lisbon couldn't deny the logic in that. "Mrs. Parker took on a toy boy lover in Agent Halligan and all the while, he's been subverting the investigation."
"But the question is, is he responsible or is he covering up for his lover?" Lisbon asked.
To Part Fifteen